Poetry

Okay, so I don't usually get a good response when I post serious stuff. I know everyone loves the humor. I do too. Therefore, I've been holding off on posting this but I decided, hey, this blog is for ME too.... so.. here is something I wrote in January:

I am the mighty pine.

I’ve seen the forest burn below me.

My foundation is scarred but still I stand.

The winds toppled the giant oak beside me

but I bend and sway

never breaking

never falling

high and mighty above the rest.

I am the rock

nestled beside the raging river.

I’ve weathered her anger;

allowing the torrent to

smooth and soften me

but still

never breaking

never falling

I become more beautiful

as the waves polish and make me shine.

I am the tiny crocus seed

beneath the frozen earth;

waiting to spring forth and bloom

alone in the barren winter landscape

never breaking

never falling

I flower against the odds

a symbol that there is hope.

I am hope.

My past does not rule me.

My family does not dictate me.

I am my own spirit

free and loving

never breaking

never falling

always choosing

peace.

The Party Planner

I've been pondering Noah's announcement that he wants a Gershwin birthday party for awhile now. Racking my usually-creative brain for ideas on how exactly to pull this off. I've considered a New Orleans-style jazz party and a New York City themed party. The logic behind these thoughts is that Noah loves "Rhapsody in Blue" which is what started the Gerswhin obsession in the first place. He first heard Rhapsody in Blue while watching Fantasia where a city scene is portrayed while accompanied by the piece.

Finally, I thought, " Wait a minute, WHY am I stressing about trying to interpret his meaning when I can just ASK him?" So, I did. When he got home from school Friday, I asked him if he could tell me what he was thinking of when he said he wanted this party.

He went into full decorator mode. He started swinging his arms wildly about while describing what and where things should be. He would like the following:

* pictures of George Gershwin in each corner of the living room.

* A "Happy Birthday Noah!" sign hanging over the entrance to the kitchen with piano keys on each side of the sentiment

* piano magnets to be placed all over our refrigerator and front door

* black, white and blue balloons everywhere- black and white for piano keys and blue to symbolize Rhapsody in Blue

* a cake with a piano on it and Gershwin sitting at the piano playing it ( even after I pulled off the Lego cake last year myself, he still informed me, matter-of-factly, "You'd better let Grandma do this.")

* There should be a number "7" birthday candle on the cake and the cake will be blue with piano keys on it as well

* As for party games, he said we could have the kids sit at the piano and make up their own song and then vote for the best

Here's the problem. We don't have a piano. I pointed that out to him and without even the slightest hesitation, he answered, "Well, maybe we'll have one by then."

Yeah, fat chance kiddo.

And I still don't have a clue what to do for his party.

Breaking News....

We interrupt this blog for the following announcement:

Holy schnikes, I'm freezing my arse off! What happened to spring?

We now return to regular programming. Tune in this weekend for Noah's detailed answer to the question, " Now, son, what exactly are you talking about when you say you want a Gershwin party?"

And if you are thinking, "Huh? Gershwin what!?" Then you missed it, you can catch up here.

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

Linda, at Bar Mitzvahzilla, awarded me this Creative Blogger award! Thanks, Linda! If you only like boring, dull, scoop-of-vanilla blog posts, you most definitely should NOT go visit her blog. No, nuh-uh, because she is make-you-pee-your-pants-a-little hilarious! She writes with a creative and humorous twist about being one of seven sisters, daughter of Holocaust survivors, mother to a teen and pre-teen, and raising Jewish children in Arizona. Some of her most recent gems include: a sudden realization that her forks are disappearing and discovering that she thinks her kids are throwing them away (That one set me off into a mad dash to count my spoons, because I had noticed that the spoon-spot in the drawer seems to be eternally empty these days! ) and her husband's symbol of eternal fidelity to her by -instead of following in the footsteps of many men and needing to purchase a sports car or acquire a girlfriend at a certain stage in life- buying a box truck! So, first go check out her blog.. because you will be happy you did- or maybe not so much if you actually do pee your pants- but here's your warning, if you have a tendency toward this, grab a Depends and head over there!

Now, the stipulation of the award is that I have to come up with some little-know facts about myself and an equal number of outrageous lies and you can try and guess which is which. I am having difficulty coming up with the little-known facts about myself ( but am apparently a great liar), because I have a big mouth, but I'll try.


1. I am a cold weather gal. I love the snow, making snow angels, building snow forts, sledding, skiing and everything about winter!

2.I played Little League baseball.

3. I spent a summer doing hard labor such as pouring concrete and driving forklifts.

4. My husband is in the military, but the only place we've been assigned is New Jersey.

5. I've never been to Mexico.

6. I finished my bachelor's degree in three years.

7. I've been on a submarine.

8. I never learned to swim.

9. I had a bug collection I hid in my room when I was ten.

10. I am of cajun descent, but I don't like crawfish.



Ok.. I won't make you wait for the answers:


1.hahaha! Seriously.. do you READ my blog? I HATE the snow! False

2.Unfortunately, this is true. For some unknown reason, I took temporary leave of my senses at the tender age of eight and asked if I could play Little League. I was terrible. I mean, the WORST one. I was so bad, that my coach instructed me not to swing at the ball. Ever. The reason behind that was that I was so small, I would get a walk 90 % of the time. It worked, too, because I think I only struck out two or three times the whole season, but I never hit a ball.

(I'm the awkward one front and center)

3. True. The papermill where my stepfather worked had a summer program for college students. We got paid $8 per hour doing groundskeeping duties and maintenance. The best part was when we subbed for an employee, we got paid their hourly wage ( $16-$17 per hour in 1995!!) and we were always getting overtime which was time and a half. I drove a trash truck, operated a forklift and clamp truck, poured cement and dug up water lines to name a few of my duties. I was a rich girl that summer, but too tired to spend my money! Ha!

4. False. My husband has lived in Mississippi, California, England and New Jersey. We got married while he was stationed in England and I spent the last two years of his four year tour there with him before moving to New Jersey.

(Roman lighthouse within Dover Castle, Dover, England)

5. This is true. I grew up in Texas. I lived there until I was twenty-five years old, but I've never been to Mexico. What's up with that?

6. Umm... false. I changed my major four times and finished in five and a half years.

(1997)

7. True. My ex-boyfriend was in the Navy and I got to visit his sub. I don't know how they do it.. I don't do well with tight spaces.

(1997)

8. False. I LOVE the water and I love to swim!

9. Hahahaha! That's funny, I don't care who ya are! Nope. I'm a total girl when it comes to bugs.

10. This one's true. I'm a disgrace. I don't like seafood of any kind.

A Thousand Words

I'm spring cleaning.... on my computer. I'm going through all the picture folders and deleting the ones I don't want. While doing this, it has come to my attention that a picture IS worth a thousand words!

Today, I want to focus on a few pictures of my kids. You have probably seen them already, but suck it up and look at them again. That's the great thing about a captive audience.

First, we have my first-born:

The Thinker:

Noah- pensive and wise far beyond his years...

...but with a goofy twist

He keeps us in stitches with the things that come out of his mouth. I don't know WHERE he comes up with most of it, but one minute, I would swear I was talking to a thirty-year-old and the next he does something so innocent and sweet to remind me, afterall, he IS only six. He is very intelligent and a bit OCD. His talents include locating all the continents, all the US states and most countries on a globe, endlessly gabbing about Star Wars movies and characters, eating his weight in cheese pizza and creative writing.

Next, is the biggest and loudest personality I believe I have ever met.

The Free Spirit:
Zoe- happy, mischievous and curious...

...but with a touch of red-headed attitude!

She is the court jester. She is always dancing around, cocking her hip to one side, grinning sideways at you and she aims to make you laugh but steals your heart in the process. She has a wild streak that is going to be the death of my sanity one day, I'm certain. One minute, she is throwing something at me and hollering " NO, Mommy!!" and the next, she is randomly walking up to me and kissing me. Her hobbies include beheading Noah's Star Wars figures while he is at school, antagonizing him when he is at home, "helping" around the house and "see Mi Mouse" (Mickey Mouse) and "Cocohaha" ( Pocohontas).

This is their dynamic together:

(yes, she has bruises and scratches all over her face!)

All the words I can conjure cannot convey their personalities to you.. the twinkle of mischief in their eyes. And although I am a person that loves to paint pictures with words, for this I have to defer to photographs. I think they say it best.

[as always, click on the individual pictures to see them enlarged]

Noah Bytes

ME: Noah, you can play with your friend tomorrow, if the weather is this nice again.
NOAH: It will be.
ME: I really hope so!
NOAH: It WILL be! I SAW it!
ME: Okay. Calm down, Hurricane Schwartz ( our local meteorologist)!
NOAH: What are hurricane shorts?

Later, while driving in the van:

DJ: I don't understand why they are taking so long to go when the light turns green. Oh, my mistake, they are too busy texting and/or talking on their phone to remember that they are driving!

[from the backseat]

NOAH: I know, that happens to me all the time!

[DJ and I turn around and stare blankly at him]

ME: Son, have you been taking the van out at night while we are sleeping?

NOAH: What!? I mean, when I am playing the Wii and you tell me something. I forget to hear you because I'm so into the game.

Even later while at the restaurant:

Our friends and dinner companions were asking DJ about his new job. He was telling them that he is pretty sure when he is done with training, he is going to be on the night shift and that he will have to work four twelve-hour days with three days off.

NOAH: Mommy, what is the night shift?

ME: It means he will work from 7 at night until 7 in the morning and sleep during the day.

NOAH: So, he's gonna be like a vampire?

Holy Peeping-Through-the-Ground-Foliage-but-I-Don't-Wanna-Get-Too-Excited-and-Prematurely-Say-the-"S"-Word Batman!

The snow finished melting last week.
**corner of my lip turns upward**

It's fifty-eight degrees right now.
**twitching with restrained excitement**

Look-y what I found in my flower bed:





EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**composes self, straightens shirt and smooths hair back into place**

Ahem...

Dear Mother Nature,

I'm sorry I have been such a fair-weather friend. I have removed your name from my slambook and have resumed doodling your name on my math folder with hearts all around it. Can we be B/F/F's again?

Reflections of a Fabulous Weekend

Me, walking through the streets of my second favorite city in the world (Paris is my favorite) with two of my favorite people in the world and a third behind the camera.

Life is good.

[click on the photo to see it enlarged]

Neuroses on Television and at Home

In about twenty-five years, you are going to see my daughter on television. As a great actress? As a comic wit? As a female president of the United States? Nope. She's going to be on that A&E show, Hoarders.

Let me first remind you of my post about a year ago regarding her stashing things. You can read it here. Now, I want to show you a recent picture.

She has to have half her room in bed with her when she goes to sleep. I tried putting my foot down, but she just gets up and gets the things after we close her door. Here, you see: Roger, Bunny Rabbit, Baby Bunny Rabbit, Bunny Bear, Baby Shoes, Meow-Meow, Ariel(Ya-yel), Puppy, Ruby and Dora is suffocating under that pile somewhere.

I'm not sure what is triggering this neuroses in her, but it is in direct contrast to her mother's need for order, open-spaces, purging, cleansing, organizing and being clutter-free (a neuroses all its own).

In other neurotic news, I asked Noah to start thinking about what theme he would like for a birthday this year. We still aren't sure if we are going to celebrate it again in June so his school friends can come to his party, or in August when his true birthday falls. He thought for exactly three seconds and said, " I want a Gershwin party!" As in George Gershwin, composer. *I* think it is awesome, but am pretty sure that not many first-graders are going to stumble over themselves flocking to a Gershwin party.

Am I supposed to be proud of the fact that my son has developed my love of music so much that he has formed an independent opinion as to his favorite composer? I like Gershwin and his music, but he is not my favorite. ( Aaron Copland and Percy Grainger, in case you were wondering) Or do I worry that he might be teased in the future for being different? I'm different and it's a hard road to travel, but nice to come out in the end proud of your own quirky weird self. I don't want to suggest he conform. I want him to be Noah in the end, whomever that may be. But, as a mother, it pains me when I see the possibility of him being teased. I remember being nine years old at a slumber party and being laughed at, teased, and treated so utterly horrible that I ended up calling my mother to come get me in the middle of the night. I don't want my precious boy to endure that kind of torture.

It's a fine line. I want him to be liked for who he is. I don't want him to be teased and ridiculed. I don't want to break his spirit. I can only hope that he can confidently be himself and make others think he's different, yet cool.

Let your freak flag fly, Noah!

Your mommy sure does.

A Very Seuss-ian Day!

All week, Noah's school has had various crazy things going on in honor of Dr. Seuss' birthday. Monday, he wore crazy socks and rolled up his jeans so they could be seen. Tuesday, was Pajama Day and he very happily wore his Star Wars pajamas to school. Wednesday was "Wacky Wednesday" and he wore his pants backwards, his shirt inside out and two different shoes. Thursday was "Crazy Hat Day". Last year, I made him a Green Eggs & Ham hat. This year, he requested One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. It turned out really cute, but as usual, Noah won't cooperate with taking photos, so the photos do not do it justice. ( There is a fish hanging off each of the red pipecleaners. I tried to make them look like the ones in the book, but I am a terrible sketch-artist.)

Sprout

This week is teacher conference week. I attended the conference for Noah yesterday. During the conference, his teacher told me what a pleasant and smart little boy he is and how hilarious he is. Then, she produced the folder of work she had saved. She saved her two favorites for last. They were both writing assignments and she was impressed with his writing skills. As I read them, I felt pride swelling up inside me. Noah is like me in so many ways. Some of the traits I am so very sorry I passed on to him, but this one makes me ecstatic.

The class read a story called Just Like Abraham Lincoln and afterwards, his teacher asked them to use the first line of the story, " My neighbor, Mr. Potts looks just like Abraham Lincoln." and make it their own and develop into a story. Here is Noah's story:

Mr. Bush is my neighbor. He has the same last name as his wife. His wife sometimes gives me lollipops. Zoe likes them too, but she makes a mess. The lollipops are yummy! Lick! Lick! Lick! Yum. Yum. Yum. Better than ever. Oh those days! (all punctuation is his)

I think that's pretty good for a first grader!

The other sample came after they read the Dr Seuss story, The Sneetches. The story is a lesson about discrimination where one group of Sneetches has stars on their belly and they are the "in crowd". They exclude the sneetches without stars on their belly until a traveling salesman brings a machine to town that will put stars on the bellies of the Sneetches with none. They pay to have this done and then the in crowd is upset because they can't exclude the others , so they pay the salesman to take the stars off their bellies and they go back and forth squandering all their money to the salesman until they are confused and don't remember who was in and who was out.

Noah's teacher asked them to write a paragraph about how they would feel if they were in the in crowd, then write a paragraph about how they would feel if they were the ones being discriminated against. Here are Noah's paragraphs:

If he were in the in crowd:

I am the best because I have a star from the lonestar state. Because I am glad to be the best because we are the best.

If he were not in the in crowd: ( this is my favorite):

Blah Blah Blah. I don't know what you are talking about. P.S. You're the worst people ever.

Happy Birthday Dr Seuss and Texas!

See? Just when I thought I didn't have anything to blog about, one of my friends mentioned that today is both Dr Seuss' birthday AND Texas' birthday. ( Thanks, Mandy!)

She's right. I knew about Dr Seuss, because Noah is having various Seuss-abrations at school all week. But, I had forgotten about Texas. ( I know.. bad Texan, bad, BAD Texan!) Proof that I have been gone too long.* But, yes, the Texas history I was required to take both in seventh grade and in college is now coming back to me and Texas signed the Declaration of Independence from Mexico, thus becoming the Republic of Texas on March 2, 1836. ( and I would like to note that we celebrate this and considered ourselves a republic before we even WON that right. In all reality, it started a war with Mexico, who actually signed a treaty on April 21, 1836 after a sound beating at the Battle of San Jacinto- we celebrate that date too!)

I'll bet you didn't think I could come up with something to tie these two together, did you? But, I did. I commented on Mandy's Facebook status and came up with a quick off-the-cuff poem. And thought, as cheesey and bad as it is, I would share it here.

So, without further ado, in honor of Texas and Dr Seuss:

I love Texas in a box

I love Texas with a fox.

I love Texas near and far

I love Texas' lone star.

I cannot bear it in the snow

I cannot bear the distance so

I need thee Texas with the food

For it will surely lift my mood.

Texas is the place for me

Yes, Texas I love. Jen, I be.**

* in case you didn't know, I am a Texan being forced to live against my will in New Jersey. Well, against my will part of the year- namely when it's snowing. I love it here in the spring and summer!

**yes, I KNOW that is awful grammar.... I'm not stupid. I was trying to be funny.. you know, as in, " Sam, I am" but with... oh... never mind.