We Interrupt this Blog For...

...my vacation. We are currently on vacation in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. I will be back sometime on Friday. I hope to post a blog this weekend. See ya soon!

Moving Forward

I am not having anymore children. In all reality, I don't really WANT anymore children, but I must admit, my womb aches when I see tiny babies. They are always cute in the daytime. It's the nighttime my kids/babies have trouble with.

So, yeah. No more babies. I am ready to move on to a world without diapers ( we are so close, I can feel it) and having to pack an enormous bag everywhere I go. I am ready to have children that aren't quite so needy all the time. It's nice when they gain a little independence.

Yes, no more babies.

But, it is on those days when I am sorting through all my (gazillion) files of pictures on my hard drive and I come across photos like this:

(Noah@ 14 months)

...that my ovaries lurch, throwing off the cobwebs and perch, ready to spring into action.

But, then, I run across things like this:

(Noah throwing a fit at 23 months while his parents laughed and recorded it)

...and this:





(Zoe during the Epic Sleep Battle of Fall '09- the banging noise is her kicking her door, the video was shot at 3:30 am and the short version of the entire story is that she learned to crawl out of her crib, chaos ensued, and it took me NINE WEEKS- almost on my own, my husband was away six weeks- to get her to sleep through the night again!)


And yes, no more babies.




*If you would like to catch up on the sleep battle, you can read about it here ,here, here and the gripping finale, here.


** Also, I am linking up today with Dumb Mom's Old School Friday and Friday Follow.

End of Year (FINALLY) Teacher Gift

Tomorrow is Noah's last day of school. ( I know- it's about time!) Here are the very simple gifts I made for his teacher and bus driver: ( you can click on the image to see it enlarged)

I took a simple canister jar from WalMart, filled it with pink lemonade mix, cut out some cute little flip flops with my Cricut, tied a pretty bow around it and added a tag. The pinwheels were easy too. I used paper I already had, a long straight pin, a bead and a pencil. Easy Peasey.

Happy Summer!!

The Saboteur

This morning, Zoe asked if she could wear her big girl Ariel underwear. I decided to let her and see what happened. I put them on her and she was happily showing her brother her Ariel panties.

I explained to her that if she needed to potty, she had to tell me because Ariel would be very sad if she got wet.

"Ariel sad. No wet." , she reiterated.

Captain Literal came out of his silence at that moment to respond with, " Yes she DOES like to get wet, she's a MERMAID!"

Good thing, because she got wet.

Ice Cream Wars-Interim Episode, Before the Finale

This is out of order, but I wanted to be sure and add last night's events as well.

Last night, armed with money, we sat outside from the time Noah got home from school until very late waiting for the appearance of Mister Softee.

He did not come, but Ghetto Man crawled through the neighborhood FOUR TIMES.

FOUR.

F-O-U-R.

I just wondered if that was the equivalent of pee-ing on the neighborhood to mark his territory?

HA! It didn't work!

Nanner- nanner-boo-boo!

Ice Cream Wars 3- Good Things Come to Those Who Wait (or Complain A Lot)

FINALLY!

This afternoon, Noah heard the familiar jingle (I swear that kid has dog ears) and we all ran outside and waited until the rest of us could hear it too. It was unmistakable... the Mister Softee jingle.

We stood on the side street and Zoe began jumping up and down flagging him down.

He stopped.

We ordered.

We ate.

All's good.

We love you, Mister Softee! Come back tomorrow, please.




**Note: Fifteen minutes later, Ghetto Man came rolling through. HA!! IN. YOUR. FACE. GHETTO MAN!

Ice Cream Wars, Part 2: Underdog Prevails, Mom Fails

Mister Softee came back last night!!

Noah came rushing in the house screaming that Mister Softee was coming. I stuck my head out the door and it seemed he was inching perilously close to our house. I ran back inside to grab the money we've had sitting out for three days now to purchase ice cream only to realize it was gone.

Mister Softee was tied up two streets over with customers, so I frantically started searching around while texting my husband at work to ask if he had seen the money.

Within a minute I had my reply. My husband took the money to work with him. Mister Softee was going to pass our house at last and we had no money with which to purchase ice cream.

He did pass. We didn't get ice cream. Noah has still not forgiven me (or his father).

Here's hoping he comes back tonight!

Symbolism ?

Zoe is still not potty trained (or even remotely interested), but when she needs to go poop, she goes in her room, closes her door and plays while she does her business. This is the only time of the day that she isn't attached to me other than nap time (seriously, she is sitting in my lap right now).

Therefore, when she disappears into her room and I hear her door close, I foresee a diaper change in my near future. I'm psychic like that. This afternoon, right after eating lunch ( and right on schedule) she disappeared into her room and I heard the door shut.

I chose to use that moment without her attached to me to put away some laundry I had folded earlier. As I was walking down the hall, I noticed this:

Now, I know what that means among roommates...it's a "Do Not Disturb" sign. Is this coincidence or is my daughter much more advanced than I previously thought? I mean, she was in need of privacy at that moment. Hmmm...


**note: when I uploaded this photo ( since, remember, Zoe is sitting in my lap) Zoe said, " Ohhh! Say, 'cheese', dress! " She was telling her dress to say "cheese" for the camera. My daughter is such an attention-loving ham, it is even rubbing off on her apparel.

Ice Cream Wars

Do you have a favorite ice cream man? We do. It's the Mister Softee truck.

(image retrieved from the internet since Mister Softee is like the Loch Ness monster and rarely seen around these parts)

We like him best because he has soft serve ice cream. Alas, he has not been around our neighborhood for the last few years. We've sometimes had visits from the Blue Bunny man, but mostly, we only have the generic, I-wouldn't-buy-anything-outta-his-truck ghetto ice cream man.

That's how we roll here in our 'hood.

(actual Ghetto Man- if you don't hear from me after today, I've been off-ed for whistle-blowing)

I'm starting to think that generic man is a member of the Mafia and is off-ing the other ice cream trucks because he has somehow claimed our turf as his own. I want to know why we don't get a vote... I want Mister Softee back.

About a week ago, we heard the distinct jingle of the Mister Softee truck at 9:30pm. Noah came flying out of his bedroom to inform us just as he drove by. But it was 9:30, on a school night, and we missed him anyway. We hoped this was the start of something good. That we would wake up the next morning with the sun shining, the bluebirds singing and Mister Softee driving through our neighborhood.

It didn't happen.

Yesterday evening, we heard Mister Softee again. Off in the distance. We all scrambled in and raided our wallets/purses/change jars/piggy banks and proceeded back outside to wait for him. He never came. We heard another tune off in the distance- Turkey in the Straw- and sure enough, the bearer was Ghetto Man. We went inside, dejected, thinking maybe we just missed him in our excited frenzy.

This afternoon, rather early, we heard the jingle again. My heart started racing, I jumped inside the front door and grabbed the wad of cash and coins still lying in the entryway from last night's failed attempt to catch the elusive god of frozen confection. The kids were posted at the fence so as not to miss him. I SAW him cross over our street ( they usually weave back and forth across our street onto the side streets) about four blocks down.

He's coming! He's coming! Mister Softee is bringing his little bits of soft-serve frozen heaven to our house at last!

But, then, only minutes after seeing him cross over our street, from the other direction, I heard Turkey in the Straw blaring in utter discord. Such cacophony to my ears. No! No! NOOOO MISTER GHETTO MAN, GO AWAY!!!

GO. AWAAAAY!

And boldly, claiming the turf that is his own, Mister Ghetto Man drove straight up our street,not even criss-crossing and headed down to where Mister Softee was spotted.

We didn't hear the sweet Softee jingle again, but fifteen minutes later, Turkey in the Straw came merrily criss-crossing through our neighborhood from the same direction that Mister Softee was last spotted.

Rest in peace, Mister Softee. We love you.

"I'm Bored!"

We don't get much family time on the weekends anymore because DJ works every Saturday from seven a.m. until seven p.m. His days off are Sunday, Monday and Tuesday and once school is out ( June 25) we will be able to spend more time together as a family. But, until then, we have Sundays.

This past Sunday, we took the kids to the boardwalk. The majority of the time, Noah was whining about being bored and my favorite line, " There's nothing to DO here!" Really? REALLY? Because you are surrounded by fudge, candy and ice cream shops, arcades, a fun house, a little carnival, places to eat and, oh yes, there's the sand and the WATER.

I grew up on the beach too. But the beach I grew up on consisted of sand and water. That was it. There literally was nothing to do there but play in the sand and water. There weren't even restaurants except one little hamburger shack you passed driving in on the peninsula.

So, Mister Noah, fruit of my loins, the next time you complain about being bored, look around you:





I know, son, life is rough. I don't see anything to do either.

Conversations with Zoe

Now that Zoe is getting more verbal, it was only a matter of time before one of her conversations with me made the blog.

Earlier today upon discovering Zoe had ripped the cord to her overhanging light off of the wall ( her room has no overhead light for some reason, so we bought a hanging pendant from IKEA and hung it from the middle of her room, but it has to plug into the outlet by her door-because that outlet is controlled by the light switch- so my husband neatly clamped and nailed the cord down the side of her doorframe so it wasn't clearly visible) we had this conversation:

ME: Zoe!! Did you do this (holding cord in my hand)!?

ZOE: Taa!! ( her version of Ta-da)

ME: Zoe, that is not funny. It was very bad. It could have hurt you.

ZOE: Wa-wa (Noah) do it.

ME: No, Noah didn't do it. He isn't even here, he's at school. Zoe did it and now Daddy will have to fix it.

ZOE: Oh. Sorry, Mommy.

ME: Thank you for saying you are sorry, but you are still going to have to sit in time-out because it was a naughty thing to do.

ZOE: SAID, "SORRY, MOMMY!" **AUDIBLE SIGH AND GRUNT OF FRUSTATION**

ME: Thank you, but you still have to sit in time-out.

What followed was a time-out filled with crying and kicking, but clearly no remorse.

Fictional Friskiness

Linda, at Bar Mitzvahzilla, has unknowingly bestowed an entire weekend of giggles on me.

Giggling, like, fourteen-year-old schoolgirl giggling.

And an eye-rolling conversation with my husband. (with his eyes retreating into the back of his noggin, not mine)



You, see, she participated in and then passed on to me, the Plastic Joy Award. It comes complete with a disturbing little picture of Barbie attacking Ken- and I never really understood the attraction there. Ken looked too plastic to me (duh!) and... well... he was a eunuch. What's hot about that? So, it's safe to say that Ken is off MY list, but what I did have to do is come up with five fictional characters with whom I would like to, ummm, do the horizontal boogaloo. *giggle*

So without further ado- and because it rhymes with boogaloo-

1. The year was 1989, I was sixteen years old and a new television series began.

Enter Neil Patrick Harris as Doogie Howser, M.D. - a super-smart, sixteen year old doctor who was torn between his adult working world and his teenage drama with his girflriend-I think Rhonda was her name. I still think Neil Patrick Harris is pretty hot, even though I know I would be barking up the wrong tree, so to speak.

2. This next one was hard because I like the actor in general and had to pick my favorite character, so I picked Jake Anderson from Must Love Dogs- played by John Cusack.

3. Adorning my wall in the form of fold-out posters lovingly ripped from Teen Beat magazine, were posters of one Mr. Jason Bateman. I thought we were destined to be together because his birthday is just one day after mine (he's four years older, but who's counting?). He appeared first in some episodes of Silver Spoons with Ricky Schroeder and then starred in the sitcom It's Your Move as Matthew Burton, which sadly only lasted eighteen episodes.

4. Okay, I don't really want to admit this one, because it makes me feel like one of those old, trying-to-hold-on-to-her-youth moms that is into what all the teenagers are into. But, the truth is, I can't deny this... I think the character, Jacob Black from the Twilight movies (and books) is HAWT! When I saw pictures of Taylor Lautner in the movie promos for New Moon, my heart went all a-flutter. Then, I saw that, at the time, he was only seventeen years old and I felt like a bit of a pedophile. But I reasoned with myself that they just didn't MAKE seventeen-year-old boys like that when I was seventeen! (See #1) WOW! So, I realize this is a bit creepy, but I am totally outing myself as a member of Team Jacob, even though I know how the whole saga ends. I will just say Bella can have Edward, I'll take Jake! And I will conclude this with a quote from Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live (she was referring to Justin Beiber): "[He's] so cute, I don't know if I want to marry him or put him in a stroller and push him around the mall!" Yeah.. just like that.
And I'm gonna comment on this and give a nod to Linda at the same time, "I'm verklempt! Oy, indeed." (How'd I do, Linda?)

5. Although I will never watch this movie again- because I cried; and by "cried" I mean I sobbed, snorted, sniveled and downright ugly-cried myself through this movie- I feel the need to nominate the character Noah Calhoun played by Ryan Gosling in The Notebook. He never gave up on their love, from the humble beginnings until the heart-wrenching end.

Okay, so now I have to pass this on to five other bloggers. So, I'm giving it to:

1. Jennifer @ Momma Made It Look Easy- because she's my fellow-Texan, I actually know her in real life, she's hilarious and she mentioned she likes trashy romance novels- so I am dying to know who her fictional characters would be.
2.Lesley @ I Never Said I Was June Cleaver- because she's my cousin, was my first best friend and partner in crime, is new to blogging and although I don't know if she wants to participate in this kind of thing, I think her responses would probably be pretty good too.
3.Julie @ Just a Wee Bit Busy- fellow-scrapbooker/crafty mom, person that is insanely busy carting her kids around to gymnastics, golf, soccer, school, etc, but always seems to get it done AND manage to document it all with excellent picture evidence and time to scrapbook it. I want her organizational skills and superpowers.
4.Aimee @ We Could Not Ask for More- fellow Jersey girl, scrapbooker and busy mom of four children! An adorable set of triplets Zoe's age and a beautiful red-headed son, Drew. And I don't mean, "He's your child, so I will say he's beautiful because that's the nice thing to do." I mean.. he actually was flown to L.A. because he was chosen to participate in a child-modeling competition. He's beautiful.
5.Valorie @ On the Pursuit of life, Liberty, and Happiness- she's a college student at Texas A&M university and I enjoy reading her insight on life and reliving my college years vicariously through her. She's ambitious, intelligent and a dreamer... I think she will go on to do great things.

The Colbert Children Stubborness Postulate OR "In Your Face, Mommy!"

"Help, Mommy! I wet now." is what I heard at 2:00 this afternoon. This is also the phrase that could have potentially sent me over the edge had there not been witnesses.

When I say my children are stubborn, I don't mean it lightly. I don't even mean it comically. I mean it in the "as a mule" context. Both of them.

When Zoe crawls out of bed in the mornings, her diaper is completely dry. It's been this way for months and try as I might to get her to sit on the potty, she adamantly refuses. I've even tried making her sit on the toilet and turning the water on to try and force her to go, but it doesn't work. Usually, an hour or two after she wakes up, she will finally let it all out and I know this when I see her saturated diaper hanging between her knees.

This morning was no different. The diaper was dry, I begged her to sit on the potty while she flat refused. I eventually got her and her brother dressed, Noah on the school bus and Zoe's backpack packed to go to hourly care today. She goes one day a week from 9-2 to get her used to being away from me before she starts preschool next year.

I arrived to pick her up a few minutes before two and she was sitting on her cot just waking up from nap time. Her teacher, Ms. Amanda, asked her if she wanted to sit on the potty and Zoe said she didn't. So, she took her to the changing area to change her diaper. That is standard procedure after nap time and she changed the diaper even though it wasn't wet. All the while she and I were talking and she said that Zoe never goes while she's at daycare either. She had still been in her original diaper from this morning. This meant that, at two o'clock in the afternoon, Zoe had still not gone to the bathroom since the night before. I was shocked.

Zoe happily said "Bye-bye" to Ms. Amanda and was now standing outside the partition with me while I chatted with Amanda about Zoe's day. I asked how long it took her to quit crying that morning, if she ate lunch, if she played and if she napped. We chatted for a minute or two and Zoe ran off down the little hallway a bit. I told Zoe she needed to come back to where I was standing and I bent down to zip her backpack at which point she uttered the line about being wet.

Confused, I reached around to feel her diaper to see if it was full. I recoiled as my hand was suddenly soaked. I turned her around and she had peed so much it had instantly filled her diaper to capacity, leaked and soaked the entire right side of her pants. All in the span of about two minutes.

I kindly asked Amanda if I could use the changing table and even she was astounded that Zoe could soak her diaper and pants that quickly after being changed. After the clean-up, Zoe skipped to the van where we had a conversation about being a big girl and using the potty.

" Zoe, you really need to use the big girl potty, now. It is time to get rid of the diapers."

" I wear my princess panties."

" Yes, you can wear your princess panties when you use the big girl potty."

"Okay, Mommy. I wear panties."

" You want to wear your princess panties?"

"Yeah."

" Are you going to use the potty?"

"No, mommy. I use diapers. No princess panties."

"Zoe, do you want to sit on the potty?"

"NO, MOMMY! No panties! I go my house, now."

**SIGH**

So, I started the van and I drove to her house...

...where she is currently wearing diapers.

Soul Mates

This is an interesting subject because so many people believe differently regarding soul mates. I have my own theories on this, but today's post is supposed to be humorous, so I will save it for later.

I have mentioned before that I love to watch the show The Big Bang Theory. The character Sheldon Cooper portrayed by actor Jim Parsons reminds me so much of my son it is downright comical. I swear this is a sneak peak of my son's future persona. The first time my husband and I watched the show, we pegged the Noah/Sheldon connection; but then as we got to know the character, we realized that Sheldon is from East Texas (as are my husband and I originally) and calls his grandmother, "Memaw" (Noah has a Memaw too).

The season finale of The Big Bang Theory ended with Sheldon meeting his female counterpart. Earlier in the episode, Howard and Raj who are always participating in different antics to meet women, jokingly signed Sheldon up for an online love match service arguing that the formula used to match the potential mates was "scientific". Much to their dismay, the site came back with a match for Sheldon and they decided at that point to tell Sheldon and have him go meet his match. Sheldon, of course, refused and doubted the validity of the service. So, Raj and Howard bribed Sheldon by hiding a dirty sock in his apartment and telling him they would not tell him where it was unless he went to meet his date.

The episode ends with them walking into the coffee shop and the girl ( played by Mayim Bialik- formerly the star of Blossom who left acting for awhile and went on to earn her PhD in neuroscience) approaching Sheldon and introducing herself. Sheldon promptly tries to invalidate her by telling her she has been deceived by a flawed dating service but she retorts that she is only there because she promised her mother that she would date at least once a year. She goes on to tell him that, "all physical contact up to and including coitus is off the table." , at which point Sheldon looks impressed and asks if he can buy her a drink. She replies, " Tepid water, please." And we pan to Howard and Raj standing open-mouthed and Howard saying, "WHAT have we done?"

I'm telling you all this to tell you that I often wonder what Noah's future love life is going to be like. He is an awkward little boy and I often wonder if he will find someone that truly fulfills him and makes him happy. After watching that particular episode of The Big Bang Theory, I started thinking again about Noah and if he would one day find someone. And then I remembered, I have already met Noah's female counterpart.

Her name is Alexis and she is seven years old. Her mother used to listen to my Noah stories and tell me that Alexis was just like him and I didn't know wether or not to believe her. I didn't know if I was truly getting the reality of Noah's quirks across to her. But then one day, we went for a playdate at Alexis' house. Alexis took Noah upstairs to show him her room and Zoe, Alexis' little brother, Chase, Chase's mom and I stayed downstairs. A few minutes later, Zoe followed the bigger kids upstairs. Zoe saw Alexis' room and thought she was in heaven. A big girl's room filled with loads of girly things. Exactly two minutes later, Alexis appeared downstairs holding Zoe's hand and said the following:

"Umm.... can you keep Zoe downstairs? There are no age-appropriate activities in my room for her. All of my things are for ages three and up and it could be a safety hazzard for her."

I sat there stunned for a moment. "Age-appropriate activities"?? And then I started laughing. This absolutely sounded like something that would come out of Noah's mouth.

Noah and Alexis played the rest of the time nicely in her room and got along very well. I haven't yet convinced her mother to go ahead and sign a betrothal agreement.

I guess there is someone for everyone.

I don't think I want to meet Zoe's counterpart. Not yet. I don't think I have the nerves to handle two of them.


This post is linked in with Friday Follow Me

Writer's Workshop

Have you ever really listened to the mourning dove call for his mate?

Have you ever closed your eyes and felt the power of the ocean tugging at your ankles as the warm sand squishes between your toes?

Have you ever realized what you've been searching for has always been within your grasp?

Have you ever wondered if you chose the correct path and then realized you are exactly where you are supposed to be?

Have you ever seen the entire universe reflected in one sparkling grain of sand?

Have you ever felt the breath of God playfully rustle your hair only to realize there is no breeze?

Have you ever looked into the eyes of a child and seen all the generations that came before her looking back at you?

Have you ever retreated within yourself and attempted to just be?

Because, when you can achieve this, everything else will come to you.

This post is inspired by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop, prompt #4, "Begin each line of your post with, 'Have you ever...' "

The Real Reason We Have a Baby Toilet in the House

It isn't because it might help Zoe learn to use the toilet. Because, it doesn't work.

It is a useless ( or so I thought) object, collecting dust in our bathroom. I googled alternate uses * so I wouldn't feel that I had wasted money. Here is a compilation of what I found:

One could always perk up their garden with their potty by using it as a planter:


Or perhaps, ditch those pesky adirondack chairs with their rigid backs and trade them for something more comfortable:




To appease that quirky artist in your family, you could turn it into sculpture- a work of art sure to capture the attention and admiration of all your neighbors:

But, if you are Zoe, you will put it to a more practical use. Turns out, the aforementioned "dust collector" was serving a purpose afterall. During it's routine dusting today, I discovered it's real identity.

Storage.

I told you my daughter was a hoarder.

If you missed the story about potty-training my daughter, you can read it here.

*amazing what you can find when you google

*Image credit 1

*Image credit 2

*Image credit 3

Image 4- mine