Monday, October 4, 2010

The Dark Side of Motherhood- Raising a Girl with Confidence

Jennifer from Momma Made it Look Easy has been writing a series on her blog regarding moxie. It's a very serious subject that hits home for me. I am the mother of a daughter and I want her to grow up to be a strong, confident woman. Jennifer opens the discussion on how to raise a girl/woman like that primarily focusing on setting a good example for our daughters to follow. You can read one of her moxie posts (which includes links to her other ones) here. I strongly suggest you read them. I'll wait.

You back? Great! Moving on...

I think this is something we all struggle with. We want our children to understand boundaries and know their limits. We want them to understand when it is not okay to cross the line, but we don't want to break their spirit in the process and render them unable to take action when action is needed.

If you've been reading my blog for more than two posts, you know my daughter is full of strong-will. And attitude. Right now, it irks me to no end. It tires me and sometimes I think SHE is breaking MY spirit! I have to remember that I am the adult and I have to make her understand who is in charge here and what her boundaries are WITHOUT making her think she always needs to back down when challenged. It's a fine line.

I think what I am trying to say is that I want her to grow up feeling absolutely beautiful (enough to dress like a princess if she likes), yet strong and independent enough to protect herself and her domain (or her side of the galaxy- whichever may apply).

Like this:

When this, umm, Princess Vader? Lady Dark Lord? Queen Sith? appeared in my kitchen, I knew she totally had it.

And I think I want to borrow some of it.

** I am also linking this post with Dumb Mom's Mom Tip Tuesday- my tip? The yin and the yang- how to balance the masculine and the feminine. Okay.. it's a stretch, but she's understanding like that... so if you don't like it, then my tip is to first leave me a comment, and then go away with your critical self.


  1. She's awesome. I've joked with my mom. I don't want to break Baby Girl's spirit for life, just for me! It is a definite balance.

  2. That little Zoe is the best and, as usual, reminds me of my daughter who used to run around the house in the smaller of the two Power Ranger uniforms I had bought my son (he had grown out of one)! Then there were the times they both wore "helmets" of mixing bowls and attacked me with light sabers. Must be something about girls with older brothers, eh?

    My girl has moxie and I've been very open about sex because, honestly, I'll do anything to save her from making the mistakes I made and being led down the wrong paths I was led down. I figure if she asks the question she deserves an answer, I just need to know how much of an answer she needs.

    A big part of raising girls is giving them the absolute ability to know who they are, then they can always judge situations against who they are inside, not what society expects on the outside. She has that, at age eleven, in abundance! Really, more than I ever had.

  3. I like read your blog after long day of deal with kids, it make me lough and like to see funny zoe's pictures - thanks for great and funny blog!!

  4. Darth Daughter is channeling her inner Vader. This is a pretty clear sign that she is not going to put up with much bullshit today, and potty training may be off the schedule if she so decides. She may have a little Granny Grunt (okay, A LOT) in that small package of sass and dy-no-MITE! This needs to be your new FB profile pic fo sho!

  5. OMG- that picture is perfect! I think she just showed you what you're trying to acheive in raising her, she's got the perfect mix! Seriously though, I do know what you mean, it is so difficult to find the right balance in this regard.

  6. I love a girl with moxie! To be honest, I would almost prefer to have my little girl take on the traditional "boyish" role (rough & tough, stands up for herself and takes nobody's sh#t. That way when she is completely bombarded with the girly stuff (barbie, Disney princesses ect..) she (hopefully) won't get suckered into the traditional female role of "waiting for her prince to rescue her" I am stopping by from SITS - see ya in the SL tribe :)

  7. Those pictures totally caught me off guard and made me laugh out loud. Your daughter is on the right track!!

  8. Love the Princess Vader outfit! My girly is full of the beans. She bosses her big brother around, and is as comfortable wielding a light saber as she is playing house with her Polly Pockets. One day she got pushed in gym class and shoved the other girl back. I secretly cheered for her, because her older brother lets himself get pushed around. I was psyched to know she won't take crap from anyone. ;)

  9. your daughter would totally be a rock star at our house!!! my twins would be in love. we have that same mask and about 4,000 light sabers... there is always a war in my living room!

    she is adorable!

  10. Oh, yeah, our daughters would LOVE each other!

    My oldest daughter was very laid back -- this youngest one? WHOOO WHEEE! My husband and I joke that when she gets married, we're just going to hand her to her husband and say, "good luck!"

    She's headstrong, spirited, full of life, and I wouldn't change one little bit, even though some days it makes me crazy!!