Goodbye 2011

As we soar through the final week of the year, I feel the need to look back on the past year and what all has transpired. On the heels of me posting my frustrations on being a military spouse ,(my favorite line I have ever created- "And frankly, some days I just want to kick Uncle Sam in his star-spangled nuts!") we started the year right off the bat with the deployment of my husband on January 4. Immediately, the children began to try my patience as a newly-anointed single mom.

In February, we celebrated surviving the first month of the deployment. A week later, my daughter showed she was really feeling the separation by asking me to help her write a letter to her daddy that broke my heart.

In March, Noah was playing indoor soccer and scored his first goal ever- and apparently was unmoved by it.

In April, Noah informed me he was a big kid and would no longer be calling me,"Mommy", the Easter Bunny got a fabulous surprise and we celebrated the military child.

In May, we were counting down the days until DJ returned. In the meantime, I celebrated Mother's Day by attending a tea at Zoe's school and with a pretty funny list Noah made. And then the day arrived- DJ came home!

June was pretty low-key with the kids in their last month of school. I did get a nice, random conversation with Zoe in the car one day.

In July, we shipped the kids off to the grandparental units in Texas for the first time ever; but not before I made an elaborate instruction booklet to go with Zoe. She's high-maintenance like that!

We joined the kids in Texas the end of July and attended a family reunion. Then we had a birthday party for the kids the first week of August before heading back to New Jersey. Noah managed to wreck a fence during his time there. Then, upon returning to New Jersey, I almost killed the kid in GNC.

September was full of soccer for both kids, piano for Noah and no time to blog about it.

October was the month I almost died in a corn maze. And that was BEFORE that family called 9-1-1 in the maze, y'all. This makes me think this is a real problem that should be looked into. Then, I confronted the neighborhood bullies while Noah gave his opinion on everything from the World Series to going green.

In November, Noah was being goofy at school and earned himself a trip to the ER.

In December, we took the kids to Hershey, PA. and Zoe came home with a terrible school photo..

We have had a very colorful, interesting, trying, hilarious, eventful and blessed year this year. Here is hoping next year is even better than last and that you and your family have a wonderful year as well.

The Story Behind the Cards

Christmas 2007: Noah was four and Zoe was four months old. I did like any mother would do- I dressed them in nice clothing and set them up for a picture together. It turned out very nicely and I slapped it on a "fill-in-the-photo" Christmas card and sent it out to family. I imagined it would be like this every year. I had no idea this would be the last time I would ever get the two of them to cooperate with photos OR the last time Zoe ever sat still for anything.

Christmas 2007:

So, when the holiday season of 2008 rolled around, I thought, "I've got this!" But I really didn't, I found out one evening as I sat them down for the photo shoot. It became apparent to me that it wasn't going to go as I had planned, so my goal was to get one picture with the two of them in the same frame and one of them wearing a Santa hat. An hour and a half later, I wrapped the session, sent both kids to bed in tears while I was ready for an alcoholic beverage or a prescription for something relaxing. I sat down at the computer, uploaded the photos and began searching for something, ANYTHING in the rapid succession of photos that would work. I found nothing - and the whole experience was just so nerve-wracking that it zapped my Christmas spirit. I sat there "hrummph"-ing and sighing and, perhaps in a mean-spirited sort of way, I decided that I would just send the worst picture to family. They were expecting photos of the kids and I failed to deliver, so I would show them what it was really like. And I found the perfect photo to sum up the photo session. I made it into a simple card complete with a snarky sentiment, printed them out and sent them on their way.

Christmas 2008:

Everyone LOVED them!! For months, people were telling me about the chuckle they got when they opened their card and how it so accurately reflected what kids are really like- not like those cards where everyone is sitting prettily and smiling at the camera like some Stepford Family. Nu-uh, no sir, that is NOT my family!
So, the idea was born- to send out more realistic cards at Christmas. None of the following years has been quite as raw and real as the original. In fact, they have all been staged, but they have all been a hit and fun to create.
And now, to quote Paul Harvey, you know "the rest of the story." Please enjoy.

Christmas 2009- front

Christmas 2009- back

Christmas 2010

Christmas 2011

This is YOUR FAULT, DJ! (that's my husband)

I have been ranting on here for as long as I have had this blog about the fact that my children don't take photos. It is a great irony that I LOVE to take photos and my kids hate to be in them. I always see everyone else's photos of their kids posing and smiling beautifully and envy them. And it isn't just me- I tried taking them to Sears and JC Penney several years ago and they would not cooperate there either. They don't even cooperate for school pictures. It is SO FRUSTRATING!

Zoe's school pictures came home yesterday. They are horrible. We got up early that morning and curled her hair. I pinned her bangs to the side in a beautiful, festive little barrette that matched her dress. She approved of her look and promised me great things before stepping on the bus. Here is the picture I took of her before she got on the bus that morning.





Her teacher said she was glad I got a picture of her before she left because she refused to look at the photographer. Yesterday, the long-awaited pictures came home. Yeah. They make you pay in advance and I am totally sending them back. They have a retake day and I am hoping for better, but if I am still not satisfied, they refund your money. I see a refund and an unhappy mom with no preschool picture in my future.




Exactly four years ago, Noah did the same thing. Same kid, same attitude. The only difference, was that Noah's happened to be funny and I purchased them anyway.




Here they are side-by-side for comparison, grins and giggles:(strangely coincidental they are both wearing red)




This is my life.

They get this from their father's side, because I am smiling in all of my photos. Here are my preschool photos for evidence:

3year old preschool

4 year old preschool

You draw your own conclusion.

Totally their father's fault.

Just Pondering

I admit it. I am a Facebook addict. I probably post more than most people want to know (but thankfully have not resorted- yet- to sharing too much information. I mean, nobody cares about your bathroom habits- just sayin') Since we live so far from home, family and many friends I had growing up, it is really nice to be able to keep in touch by actually seeing pictures and posts from people. It makes me feel like I am there and experiencing it. Like, recently, when the military once again got in the way of us attending our twenty year high school reunion. I watched the posts, tags and pictures on Facebook pop up that weekend and it was almost as good as being there- seeing faces I haven't seen in twenty years.

However- there are times, when it creeps me out. I am in a bit of a conundrum and am not sure yet what I want to do about it. My son has been asking me for a Facebook page for over a year now. I won't let him have one. He has his own email address and communicates with grandparents and cousins through it. I feel this is enough for now. I don't like the idea of my eight-year-old on Facebook. I have held firm in this.

I realized that you are usually stricter with your oldest child. And that Zoe will probably have these privileges at a younger age than her brother did, but that is the plight of the older child- to be the guinea pig. Now, with that said- I am not judging anyone who has a third grader with a Facebook page. I am sure there are children in Noah's class and grade with older siblings that have these privileges and therefore they have them too. In fact I know there are. Which brings me to my problem.

A student in Noah's class sent me a message on Facebook last week just telling me who she is and that she is in Noah's class and rides his bus. I figured she was looking for Noah, so I responded and told her he did not have a Facebook page yet, but shared his email address if she wanted to contact him. I got a message back that she knew he didn't have a Facebook page and that she lives pretty close to us. That was it. And I thought we were done with it. But, Noah never got an email from her, and today, I noticed I have a friend request from her.

I am not comfortable with this. I don't want to seem like a prude, but I am uncomfortable having a "friendship" with an eight-year-old. One of my son's classmates at that. I feel it somehow blurs that adult/child boundary. Not that I have an inappropriate Facebook page. I don't post crazy pictures or use filthy language (alright, I do swear sometimes, but I try to keep it PG for the most part) but, I also feel that some things I might do and say are adult things. I mean, it's bad enough that one day I will be held responsible on some therapist's couch for screwing up my own children. I don't need the added pressure of screwing up someone else's child too.

Am I wrong? Am I a prude? I am not in any way ashamed of my actions, but I feel sometimes things I say, or my humor might be too mature for an eight-year-old's eyes.

I would like your thoughts on this.

The Return of Peppermint

Last year, we received our very first visit from an Elf on the Shelf. The kids were delighted, quickly named him "Peppermint" and looked forward to finding his hiding spot every morning. On Christmas Eve, when Peppermint had to go back to the North Pole to help Santa for Christmas, the kids were sad to see him go.

The weekend after Thanksgiving this year, we went out in our sunroom to put up the Christmas tree and found Peppermint sitting out there with a note to the children. They were so happy he came back this year!

I have to say, this year, that little booger has really been getting into some mischief. I don't have a picture from every day, but here is a good summary of what has taken place so far:

Noah found him playing with his iPod Touch and DSi:

I found him in the bathroom:

One morning, he was just "hanging out" in the kitchen:

Zoe was not amused to find he had been joyriding in her Strawberry Shortcake car:

We went to Hershey, PA for the weekend, and he showed up in our hotel room :

He must have returned early from the North Pole one evening and got bored, so decided to indulge in a movie and popcorn:

He really must like the head rush that comes from hanging upside down:

One morning, he appeared in Noah's Legos:

Busted in the candy jar!

Watching Zoe sleep:

I placed an order with the Hershey Store online and when I received it, there was a mistake, they had packed a giant Hershey syrup bottle instead of a Hershey candle I ordered. I called customer service and sorted it out, but the next day, Peppermint was found on the Hershey bottle- perhaps he messed up my order?

Last night, I finished up a load of the kids' laundry, folded it and left it on the chair in the living room. I guess that was a big mistake, because this morning the kids found him on the tree after he had occupied himself by hanging their unmentionables all over the tree! Noah found this very funny, but Zoe was mortified. She instructs me to take her underwear down and put them away in her room while she was at school, because she did NOT like them there!

I can't wait to see what Peppermint comes up with next! ( I really can't wait, since I am running out of ideas and will be searching Pinterest again this evening!)

Do you have an elf? If so, what is his/her name and what sort of antics have they been into? I love hearing the names of everyone's elves. Our friends have elves named, Jingle Bell, Jerry and perhaps my favorite of all, Buzz Lightyear Henry!

Hershey Christmas

This past weekend, we went to Hershey, PA. Our friends have gone every year for the past twenty years and encouraged us to go with them last year in December. Our entire family enjoyed the trip so we decided to go with them again this year. Hershey is 140 miles away, so we usually stay over night. This year, our friends' Christmas gift to us was a stay in the Hershey Lodge.

(Hershey Lodge)

We left Friday afternoon around 5 and arrived in Hershey around 7:30. The lodge is beautifully lit from the outside and we couldn't wait to get inside and see it for ourselves. As soon as the automatic doors parted, the smell of chocolate wafted through the air. Every person in our party got a free Hershey bar at check-in.

Inspection of the room revealed that the wallpaper in the bathroom was covered in Hershey Kisses. The complimentary bottles of shampoo, conditioner and moisturizer in the bathroom were cocoa-infused. They smelled like chocolate!!

The lobby was packed with people there to see the arrival of Santa, the lighting of the tree, carolers and some Hershey characters looking for photo ops with your children. The staff were all very friendly, even offering to take our camera and snap a photo of all of us with the characters.

Everyone was hungry, so we went out to eat and returned to a lobby that was significantly less-crowded. We walked around for a bit, window-shopped at the now-closed gift shop and gazed at the fire in the mammoth four-sided fireplace. The kids were starting to get cranky and it was ten o'clock, so we went upstairs to bed.

Upon arrival back in our room, we discovered that our elf, Peppermint, had followed us to Hershey!

The next morning, we had a leisurely breakfast in the hotel where you could either order off the menu or partake in the breakfast buffet. If you are so inclined, you can even order a chocolate chip omelet. (I was not inclined to do so)

Hershey Park does not open until noon, but Chocolate World (located just outside the entrance to the park) opened at ten, so we headed there first. In chocolate world, you can find any Hershey product your heart desires, purchase souvenirs, scrumptious bakery confections, have a chocolate Pepsi (Pepsi with Hershey's syrup), make your own candy bar creation and ride the Chocolate World Tour. The tour is free and takes you in a little car through a tour of how the factory works and the chocolate is made. The tour ends with, what else, free chocolate!!
(Chocolate World)

We then headed into the park where the kids anxiously lined up to see what height category they were in. Instead of using actual height requirements at the rides (i.e. "you must be 48" to ride") you find out what category you fit into when you enter the park and the rides will tell you that perhaps you have to be a Hershey bar to ride alone, but Twizzlers and above must be accompanied, etc. Noah graduated up to a Hershey Bar this year and Zoe was a Hershey Kiss! Zoe wanted to ride the rides with her brother, but I consoled her by riding the carousel with her.

We spent the entire day in the park, riding rides, playing in the arcade and just walking around. Once it was dark and the holiday lights came on in the park, we got in the line to ride the train. The line was long, but moving really quickly. The train ride took us through the park and gave us a great view of the beautiful lights. Once we exited the train, we stopped for kettle corn on the way out and then one last stop by Chocolate World for a drink and some Reese's cupcakes.



We arrived home around ten o'clock p.m. and everyone was exhausted but glad we went for a visit. I am already looking forward to next year and hope our finances provide so that we can stay at the Hershey Lodge again.

Thankful for Mermaids & Legos

Noah informed us at dinner last night that he doesn't want to go to college. He thinks he will get a job working for Lego designing Lego kits. We explained to him that a degree in engineering or architecture would probably serve him well in his job prospects.

Not wanting to leave Zoe out of this conversation, we asked her if she was going to college.

"What's caw-lege?", she asked.

"It is where you go to school to learn your job when you grow up.", I replied.

DJ then asked her what she wanted to be as an adult.

Without even a moment's hesitation, she answered, "A mermaid!".

"Oh that is GREAT, Zoe! In order to be a mermaid, you will need a degree in marine biology."

That's me. I'm quick and calculating. And apparently a little controlling. But, I am setting the career path for a future marine biologist, because she thinks she needs that degree in order to be a mermaid.

In our defense, we did point out she would also need to learn to swim. Because life skills are important as well.

And now onto Thanksgiving:

I asked our little engineer and marine biologist what they were thankful for and here is their response:

NOAH: Legos, a family that loves me, muffins (can you tell what we had for breakfast?) and a good, cozy house.

ZOE: a good comfy house (copycat), a blue flag (???), Barbies, a brother, a daddy, a mommy and a Lindy (the dog).

Happy Thanksgiving from the Chaos Family!!

May your day be filled with muffins, Legos, cozy homes, family and a blue flag.

Sappho, Casanova, Byron, Shelley and Then There's Noah

A letter to Noah's Future Beloved:

Dear Future Beloved of Noah:

I apologize. It is NOT my fault. He was always this way.

Signed,

Your Future Mother-in-Law

I compare Noah to Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory a lot. But, before there was Sheldon and the Big Bang Theory, I had already made a connection between him and Alex P. Keaton from Family Ties. That analogy came screaming back to me on Monday as Noah and I were talking during the car ride home from school. (Note: his teacher is engaged to an Army officer currently stationed in Georgia and has plans to get married this December)

NOAH: Miss ______ left early today because she was taking a little trip to see Mister ________.

ME: Oh really?

NOAH: Yeah. She flies to see him every weekend. Can you believe that?

ME: I know! Can you imagine how exhausted she must be every Monday morning at school after that trip?

NOAH: Umm... yeah. AND BROKE! That must cost a lot of money!!

ME: Well when you are in love you do extraordinary things. It is worth it if you really love someone.

NOAH: Umm.... I'm thinking, NO. I would NOT spend money for THAT!

(to be fair- it is Book Fair week and he came home with a wish list totaling $70. I gave him the money to buy an $8 novel but he really wanted some $22 Lego book. I made him pay for that himself. I am sure his purse strings were still hurting from having to pay for that book. )

Fall 2011

So, every year, I get all, "Texas just doesn't have fall like this and I LOVE New Jersey in the fall..." blah blah blah... so this year, I am going to shut my pie hole and just SHOW you using pictures I have taken over the past few years of fall in New Jersey.

Enjoy!