Teenager?

Since when did my 7-year-old son turn 14? Apparently he has aged over the past few weeks because he has developed the smart mouth and sarcastic reasoning that usually comes with teenagerdom.

Last night, I asked him to feed the dog. "Noah, feed the dog, please."

"What does that mean?"

"It means FEED THE DOG! NOW DO IT!"

"What's a dog?"

"You're gonna be a dog and sleep in her corner while I let her sleep in your bed if you don't FEED THE DOG NOW!"

He fed the dog.

This morning, I was putting away clothes in my bedroom and I heard them arguing in the living room. Zoe appeared in my room to say, " Mommy, Noah called me a baby."

"Zoe, you know you are not a baby. Don't worry about what Noah says, but tell him to stop saying mean words."

"NOAH! Mommy say don't say, 'baby' NO MORE!"

And then I hear Noah singing, "Ba-by! Baaaa-by. Stupid, stupid, DUMB! Stu-pid, baaa-by, baby, baby DUMB!"

All the words I have told him repeatedly not to say because they aren't nice.

I walked in the living room and said very matter-of-factly, "You've lost your DSi for three days. We will talk about it again on Thursday!"

Noah looked shocked.

And then he started crying. "WHY!?"

"Because I heard you in here being nasty to your sister. Why would you be so nasty to her?"

**still crying** "Because she was bugging me!"

"Well, Noah, that is no excuse to be mean to her! Calling her stupid, dumb and a baby is incredibly mean!"

And then came the moment where he changed from seven-year-old to fourteen-year-old. In an instant, he dried up the tears and I saw him put on his smug face and then he said:

"I wasn't calling HER those names. I was just saying them to myself."

"No, you weren't! You were singing it and calling her those names."

"No I WASN'T I was just singing quietly to myself."

"Well, your 'quietly to yourself' was loud enough for me to hear it in the back of the house! Just don't say those words at all! You know they are not nice!"

**pause**

"Well, what if we see a baby out in a store or something? Then, I can't say the word, 'baby' !?"

"And now you've lost the DSi for a week."

And the thing is, he didn't seem that upset about it. He got up and went in his room and started happily playing.

And then he came in the living room and said, " I'm bored. Not having a DSi is DUMB!!"

As I type this, he is sitting at my kitchen table writing, "I will not call Zoe a baby" fifty times. Or at least he is sitting at the kitchen table crying how unfair it is that I have told him he can't get up until he is done. He hates to write. And he also needs practice on his terrible handwriting.

Two birds- one stone.

Yeah me.

Now where can I get some chocolate and wine at 10:30 am?

The Entrepeneur

My son desperately wants to make some money and he is scheming as to how to make it. I suggested that he help his mother shovel the foot of snow we awoke to find waiting in our yard and driveway today and/or with other things around the house; but he quickly balked at that idea. Those things are deemed "too hard". He would much rather make an easy buck.

This evening, he came in from playing outside in the snow (he had a snow day) and excitedly informed me that he had it. His next business idea. He is going to go door-to-door and sell snowman parts.

Digest that for a second.

I asked exactly what all the term "snowman parts" included. He said, "You know... sticks, carrots, coal..."

"So... things you can get for FREE in your yard and refrigerator?", I replied.

"Well, yeah, but..."

And then his friend interjected that Noah planned to charge $10 for a carrot nose.

"That's extortion!", I exclaimed.

"What?"

"Never mind. You are not selling snowman parts. And besides, I don't let you roam this neighborhood freely anyway and you can be certain I am not walking around with you to sell snowman parts."

He gave up on that idea and I thought the whole thing was put to rest.

Until about ten minutes ago, when the child that is supposed to be sleeping came tearing out of his room all wild-eyed and breathless and said, "Mommy! I've got it! I know how I'm going to make money!"

"Why aren't you asleep? Oh right... savvy, determined businessmen rarely sleep."

"I'm going to get the snow shovel and attach it to my Gator (PowerWheels) with bungee cords like a plow on front...."

[I started thinking that sounded like a good idea if we could really figure out how to attach the snow shovel to the front and make it work. But, I could have used that ingenuity twelve hours ago when I was shoveling a foot of snow out of my driveway.]

"... and then I will go door-to-door and ask if people have pets. If they do, then I will tell them, 'Well, I bet your pet is very sad he or she can't freely run and play in your yard with all the snow. I have a solution. I can plow a path around your yard for your pet.' "

I informed him that was a sweet thought, but the only people we knew with pets are two of our neighbors. His friend has a dog, but also two teenage siblings that help shovel so they don't need anyone to plow a spot for their dog. And the other neighbor pays the two teenagers to shovel her yard for her, so she wouldn't be in need of the services either.

Back to the drawing board.

I'll keep you posted as to his next business idea.

Snowflake

I see you snowflake

dancing in the breeze

playfully tumbling

outside my window

begging for someone

to come out and play.

I see you snowflake

calling my children

out to play

with the promise

of snow angels and forts

snowball fights and snowmen

and if they are lucky

a snow day.

I see you snowflake

taunting me

teasing me

reminding me to salt the walk

shovel the drive

play with the dog.

I see you little snowflake

at first glance

you are beautiful

but I am not impressed

Go back where you came from!

You are not welcome here!

S-E-X

Every night, our bedtime routine is the same. Everyone, including the dog, walks Noah into his room and tells him good night. I give him a kiss and Zoe climbs up in his bed so she can give him a kiss (and have an excuse to be in his loft bed which she loves). Then, we go to Zoe's room and have to kiss Zoe and various different stuffed animals and wish them all good night.

Last night, Zoe climbed up on Noah's bed to kiss him good night and, like every night, Noah tried to push her away because he doesn't like her kissing him. Except last night, Noah started saying, "No sex, Zoe! NO SEX!! "

I was stunned.

ME: (casually) What did you say?

NOAH: I said, "No sex!"

ME: What does that mean?

NOAH: That's odd. YOU don't know what sex means?

ME: Yes, I know what sex means. I've just never heard you use that word before and was wondering if you knew what it meant.

NOAH: Umm.. YEAH.. it means kissing in bed.

ME: (silently thanking all that is holy that was what he thought it meant) And where did you hear about that?

NOAH: I just know it.

ME: Well, someone had to have said that word or told you what it meant.

NOAH: Nope. I just know it. Kissing in bed.

ME: Well, I just want to say that there is nothing wrong with your three-year-old sister kissing you good night.

NOAH: Okay. You know what else??

ME: (bracing for "what else") What?

NOAH: It smells like poop in here. I think the dog farted! (collapsing in a fit of giggles)

Today I am thankful for:

1. The short attention span of a seven-year-old.

2. The naivete of a seven-year-old.

And most importantly for:

3. The fact that potty humor trumps cool new words that get a rise out of your mother any day.

Failures

Do you ever have those days when you feel that you fail at everything you do? Those days when everything seems to go wrong and just taunt you with your own shortcomings?

**********

As I type this, Noah is in his room throwing things at his door and screaming, " I hate you! I LITERALLY hate you!" Yes, he is really using the word, "literally". This tantrum is comparable to a Zoe fit. He spent all morning and afternoon putting together his Hagrid's Hut Lego kit. He brought it in the living room for me to see earlier and was so proud. I praised him but told him to be careful carrying it around, because those things were not meant to be moved. He set it on the end table and played with it off and on all day.

Around 8, I told them both that I desperately needed a shower and they should play nicely and get along. I only needed about 20 minutes. They agreed. Less than two minutes after I closed and locked the bathroom door, I heard Noah crying. I also heard Zoe asking him what was wrong, so I knew she didn't do it. He responded by yelling at her. I quickly hopped in the shower and washed my hair, all the while listening to Noah wailing like a baby. I got out of the shower and it turns out, when I went in the bathroom, he tried picking up Hagrid's Hut and moving it over to the couch and it fell apart. He was crying that it was going to take him a week to put it back together. I let him know I was very sorry it was broken, but I told him to leave it in one place and it was not meant to be moved. He started screaming at me.

I don't care how upset he is, I will not tolerate him treating me that way, so I scooped up the pieces of Hagrid's Hut and took them to his room and told him he was going to bed. He tried to pick up the large piece still in tact and while walking through the living room, dropped it causing it to shatter into a million pieces. At that point, he laid down in the floor and started failing and screaming like a toddler. I calmly picked him up and took him in his room. I told him it was obviously time for him to go to bed and it was at that point he started screaming and throwing things. I put him in the bed and closed the door. He hasn't come out.. but he is making it clear he "literally hates" me.

**********

When we adopted our dog, we noted that her previous owners had obviously worked with her and trained her. She follows several commands and was very well-behaved. The thing we noticed and liked most was she had been trained not to jump up on people. She would wag her tail furiously, pace around you and lick you to death, but she did not jump. Since DJ left, her behavior has changed. She does not listen to me. I use a firm voice and raise my voice, but she won't mind me. The last few times people have come over, she has jumped up on them and when I try and scold her, she just doesn't listen. She keeps jumping. I noticed today, that now, when I go outside with her, she jumps up on me. Full force, paws on my chest, almost knocked me down. I scolded her and she got down. But as soon as I started walking, she jumped again.

Score two for me- even the dog doesn't listen to me.

**********

A dear friend was over yesterday and we were discussing Noah's recent behavior and Zoe's general behavior. Zoe has started spitting at people when she is mad. The friend told me that she used to admire my patience with my children. She understood and saw that Zoe was more challenging than most kids and that I was on top of her as far as reacting immediately when Zoe did things like spit. But, she realized the flip side of the coin was that perhaps I was too patient. She thinks Zoe's behavior is because I am TOO patient. She said her daughter spit at her once and she immediately smacked her face and the shock factor caused her daughter to realized she had done something majorly wrong and she never did it again. She suggested that my patience is causing the problems. She also pointed out that once, when she was watching Zoe for me, Zoe was eating lunch and threw her food on the floor. My friend immediately popped Zoe on the hand and it shocked Zoe and she quit. She said a few weeks later, I was over at her house and we were eating lunch and Zoe acted like she was going to spit out her food and I got very stern and said, "Zoe, DO NOT spit out your food!" and Zoe stopped and swallowed. She said I looked very happy that she listened to me, but what I didn't see was that when Zoe stopped, she cut her eyes sideways at my friend- remembering the smack on the hand she received- and THEN she swallowed.

Score three for me- other people can parent my children- but I suck at it.

**********

And lastly- I honestly don't know why I expect the dog and the kids to listen to me when no one else takes me seriously. People think they are subtle, but I notice. I cannot tell you how many times- VERY OFTEN- I am talking to someone and then realized they have totally tuned me out and are focusing their attention elsewhere. How many times I just stop mid-sentence and they don't even notice. Seriously, it happens a lot. So.. yes... if adults don't take me seriously, why should I expect my children or the dog to.

And the fact is- when I was younger- I was interesting. I was intelligent. I was funny. I always had a great story to tell or something interesting or funny to say. I could carry on a conversation with almost anyone. I could banter, debate and discuss almost anything.

Now? I can tell you how much the kids and the dog weigh. I can tell you who Max and Ruby and Phineas and Ferb are. I know which day is cheese pizza day at the elementary school and what time Zoe eats lunch and snack at preschool. I know when to put Noah in sweats for gym day and what location and time to deliver Zoe to tumble tots and Noah to soccer practice.

But who cares about all that? No one needs to know that information but me. And all the other stuff? The pop culture stuff and newsworthy things? I would love to know about it... but I'm just too tired. And defeated.

Conversations With Zoe

Upon picking Zoe up from school this afternoon I was met with this conversation:

ZOE: Mommy? What does "crap" mean?

ME: Ummm... that's not a very nice word. We shouldn't say "crap".

ZOE: (looking completely confused) "Crap" not a nice word?

ME: Where did you hear it?

ZOE: At school. We singed about it.

ME: Okay.... well, why don't you sing the song to me and maybe I can tell you what word you are talking about.

ZOE: (singing) Crap it open, crap it open, crap it oooopen just now...

ME: Ohhhhhh!!! Is this the "Found A Peanut" song?

ZOE: Yeah! (singing again) Crap it open, crap it open crap it oooopen just now.....

I did correct her. But I didn't want to. I kind of like, "crap it open".

So This is Why Animals Eat Their Young

My kids are acting weird. Like- full moon weird- but it isn't going away.

Let's start with Noah. Normally a well-behaved kid, he suddenly has forgotten all manners when out in public. Some friends took us to dinner Friday evening for a belated birthday dinner for me. Noah just got up from the table and started wandering around the restaurant. I told him to come sit down and he did, and then he got right back up and I thought he was going to the bathroom, but he went all the way across the restaurant and was just standing over by another table of diners staring at them and the decorations on the wall around them. At some point, I was so wrapped up in dealing with the constant attention required of a three-year-old that I didn't realize Noah went missing again. I looked around for him and he had slid out of his chair and was rolling around on the floor. He's SEVEN YEARS OLD!!

Today, I took the kids to brunch at one of our favorite local restaurants and I had the same problem. I took Zoe to the restroom and came back and saw that he had taken his shoes off. Before that, he was slumped all the way down in his seat practically lying down and by the time we were getting ready to leave, he was loudly making weird noises. I kept throwing THE LOOK at him and threatening his life, but he didn't seem to care.

As for Zoe- she has suddenly decided to become a control freak and decide that she doesn't like to go to the bathroom. Ever. She holds it until she can't hold it anymore and has an accident. This started before her father left, so that has nothing to do with it. I cannot think of any reason she is doing this other than control. She wants to control the situation. She hasn't had problems with using the restroom since school started and now all of a sudden, we are having to carry spare clothes around with us everywhere. Even when I force her to sit on the toilet, she is screaming and crying that she doesn't have to go WHILE she is peeing. Defiant to the very end.

Her first day back at school after the Christmas break, she wet herself and peed all over the chair and floor in the computer area. When we went to dinner Friday night, I took her to the bathroom in the restaurant and she cried and insisted she didn't have to go while I held her on the toilet. She didn't go and after a few minutes and turning on the sink, I let her get down. When we left the restaurant- it was FIFTEEN DEGREES outside! I stood in the freezing cold buckling her in her carseat, closed the door and went around to get in the driver's seat. I put the van in reverse and she said, "Help! I pee-peed in my panties!" I had to get out, get her spare clothes out of the back of the van, unstrap her and change her while standing in FIFTEEN DEGREE WEATHER.

Saturday, after she woke up I told her to go to the bathroom. She went in there and I heard her fumbling around, flushing the toilet and the sink running as she washed her hands. A few hours later, she suddenly started crying and I looked over to where she was lying on the couch and saw that she had just peed all over herself and the couch. It was a lot... and very evident she did not go earlier when she told me she did.

Yesterday, she got up and went to the bathroom. She insisted she had gone and flushed the potty before I could get in there to verify it. Then, later, she casually came up to me and said she needed new panties. When asked, she insisted she did not pee in her panties and could not remember where she had put her panties. I wouldn't let her have new ones until the old ones were located and when I opened the door to the laundry hamper she started screaming, " No!!!" and I knew I had located the evidence. There were the wet panties. In spite of my holding the very thing that proved her guilt, she still insisted she did NOT pee in her panties.

Today, we had no incidents. At least none that I was aware of. When I went to put her to bed, I was picking up some of the toys lying around her room and found a stash of obviously-soiled underwear under her wardrobe. I have no idea how long they have been there or if all of that happened today. Keeping with her presumed innocence, she insists she did not do it. Noah did.

If Noah has been pee-ing in her princess panties and stashing them, we definitely have more issues than I had anticipated.

Deployment- Days 5-8

I haven't been blogging about these days because none of them were full enough to warrant an entire blog post. And then the snow happened. It wasn't as bad as initially predicted, but my back still hurts from shoveling it.

Day five was Sunday- it was a pretty laid back day. Zoe has started to question when DJ is coming home and no matter how I try to explain it to her, she just isn't understanding that he isn't just right down the road and can't just come home. She knows he went on an airplane-but we live near an air force base and she sees them every day. Every time one is taking off or landing, she thinks her daddy is on it. In an effort to try and get her to understand, we got out the globe and I showed here where we lived. Then I showed her where Texas was and she knows that is where all the grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins live. Then, we spun it around and showed her where her daddy was. She was excited to look, but I am still not sure she really understood.



Day six- Monday- while the kids were in school, I attempted to make the house a little festive for Valentine's Day. I made the "Love" sign with scraps from my scrapbook stash and die-cut letters from my Cricut.



Monday evening, Noah started his indoor soccer practices. The practice was from 7-8 which seemed really late and we were all exhausted by the time we got home and got everyone to bed. I'm sorry for the poor quality of photo- all I had with me was my cell phone and, of course, they were moving and a distance from where we were sitting. That's Noah kicking on the goal.


On Tuesday, day seven, Zoe awoke sneezing, snotty and with that awful croup-y barking cough. I kept her home from school and she drove me bananas all day long!! I received a package in the mail with a surprise for me. My mother had my favorite bakery back home ship some cookies to us in anticipation of my birthday coming up. Zoe and I feasted on cookies and fought over the television.

Since she clearly felt fine, I took her to her first Tumble Tots that evening (a gross motor class- kind of like the Gymboree classes). She was initially angry because she wanted me to sign her up for ballet, but when we got there, she really enjoyed it and had a ball! Again, sorry for the poor photo- I didn't take my camera because parental participation was required and I didn't think I would be able to tote the camera around while playing with her. This was taken from my cell and is blurry from all the movement.


Tuesday night at about nine, we got the automated call from the school district that there would be no school today because of the impending snow storm. The snow started around eight or nine and it snowed until three this morning. We ended up with seven inches (not nearly as bad as they had initially anticipated).

I got up this morning, dreading shoveling us out all by myself. I decided I would quickly put on my boots and coat and shovel a small path from the doorway so the dog could go to the bathroom and would shovel the rest later. When I walked out the door, half of my driveway (the tough half- the bottom where the plow truck piles all the snow) had been shoveled. The teenagers across the street shoveled for me. I was so happy and thankful! So, I shoveled the sidewalk, a place in the yard for the dog and the other half of the driveway and went inside to feed the kids breakfast. After they were fed, I got dressed and went back outside and shoveled a path through the yard to the mailbox, around the mailbox so the mail truck can get in and a path to wheel the garbage cans and recycle bins out to the road. It could have been so much worse, but my back is still hurting me this evening.

While I was shoveling a path to the mailbox, the UPS truck pulled up and honked. My dad had ordered me one of those massaging chair pads and what timing! I took it inside and plugged it in and got a massage! Woohoo!

After lunch, the kids wanted to go sledding. We got everyone stuffed into their snow clothes, I dug my way to the shed to get the sled out and we packed the car and took off. On the way there, the clouds began to move back in and by the time we got there, the wind had picked up and was really blowing. As soon as we stepped out of the car, Zoe let me know she was NOT happy!
I got a little bit angry and told the kids they wanted to sled and we drove all the way out there and we were going down that hill at least once! I drug them both out to the hill, both crying and complaining, and Noah refused to get on the sled. Zoe and I got on and she cried and screamed all the way down the hill and then refused to walk back up. Noah had followed us down on foot to continue complaining to me about how NOT FUN the entire outing was, so I said, "Fine! Let's go!" And then Noah refused to climb the hill and I had to pull them both up the hill in the sled with the wind trying to push us back down.

On the way home, I had my point-and-shoot camera and I took a couple of random pictures. This first one is the pile of snow left behind by the snow plows. If you think that is big, you should see the parking lot of our grocery store!


The second is just blowing snow as we passed an open field.


Tomorrow, one of my friends is taking me out to lunch for my birthday and then on Friday night, our adopted family- the people that have invited us to spend every Christmas eve with them for the past four of five years, is taking the kids and I out to dinner for my birthday. I really feel like a lucky girl. Sometimes, I get caught up in the loneliness of being a military spouse and how my best friends and my family are so far away. And how when I do manage to make really good friends where I am at, they always seem to move away and then I have to start all over again. I get wrapped up in feeling sorry for myself and then something like that happens to remind me that there are people all around me that care for me and I just need to remember to reach out to them.

And now, looking forward to another day down and another day closer to seeing my husband again.

Really- Now WHY Didn't I Just See This Coming?

Upon entering the room, the smell of urine was pungent.

All the usual spots were checked- floor, around the toilet, under the lid of the toilet, baseboards behind the toilet.... no evidence was found of an errant stream.

Surfaces were bleached.

The room now smelled like bleach-y pee.

"What the heck is going on?"

"I'm way too neurotic to live with a bathroom that smells like a bus station."

"Is THIS what the apocalypse is going to be like? My own personal hell? First birds fall from the sky, then fish die, now my bathroom is going to smell like the Exxon station loo for all eternity?"

"Ouch!"

"Stupid little potty! I don't know why I keep that thing in here anyway. I know it was for emergency use since we only have one bathroom. She's not quite good enough yet to hold it should the toilet be occupied. But, she hasn't had to use it. Look at it, it's just collecting dust! Yuck!"

"Okay, I'm going to mop the floor one more time and wipe the toilet, around the toilet and the wall behind the toilet down with the bleach spray."

"Oh, that bathroom rug should go in the washer, too. "

"While I'm over here, I'm just going to scrub the tub real quick."

" You know, before I scrub the tub down, I'm going to put that little potty in here and rinse the dust off of it, take it apart and store it in the closet. That will free up some floor space. Stupid house with one bathroom! I hate New Jersey!"

"What the...?"

"Oh ewwwwwww! Yuck! So THAT is where the smell has been coming from! This has clearly been here awhile. "

"Apparently, at some point, she peed, removed the little bowl, dumped it into the cavity where the bowl once sat, replaced the bowl over the top and like a dope, I've been just wiping down the surface of the potty. How was I supposed to know there was pee INSIDE? But then, I really should have anticipated that. Especially after this. And this."

"Why do I have such a problem with my three-year-old and urine in places it should not be?"

Parenting Failure number 824,792. This year. And it's only January 9.

Day 4- Snow, Crafts, Snarky Boy and More Snow

We woke up this morning and it was snowing.




The kids and I went out to my craft room/sun room and decided to make a paper chain with a link for every day of the deployment so we can tear one off at the end of each day and visibly see the length getting shorter. This was suggested to me by several different people and I thought it was a good idea, but was afraid that since Noah is so literal, if the deployment went beyond 120 days (and I am told most of them do), he would be really angry. So, I cut out 148 links to hopefully cover the whole thing. Now if it goes beyond 148 days, the government is going to have to deal with Noah- it is out of my hands at that point.

That's a lot of links!!

It looks a little intimidating right now, but hopefully, as it shrinks, it will be so encouraging.

Since we are already 4 days in, we removed 4 links!

YAY! 4 down!!

Then, we decided to make Valentine cards for Daddy. I will have to make mine at a later date, because I spent the entire time fulfilling requests to open sticker packets, help with marker caps, help with stamping, etc.

This was supposed to be Noah with Zoe's card in the foreground,but Zoe popped up and messed up the whole focus.

inside Zoe's card

inside Noah's card- I blocked out our last name- he's such a goofball, signing his last name on a card to his daddy!

After we made cards, the kids were hungry. I made meatballs with rice and gravy. Zoe and I eat the meatballs and Noah just eats the rice and gravy. They both helped me make the meatballs and put them in the pan and then Zoe fell asleep. At this point, Noah was sitting at the kitchen table and told me, "Taking pictures of food is lame." Umm.. excuse me... when did I become the parent of a fourteen-year-old?

Then, Noah informed me I had better hurry up and make the gravy and I told him I had to wait until the meatballs were finished. He had no idea the gravy came from the meatballs and he was fascinated. He pulled up a chair and watched me make it. I explained every step of the process to him and told him if he would learn to cook and make a good gravy and/or roux, he would be golden because girls love a guy who can cook.

He stared at me with that look he gives so well that makes me think he wants to say, "You are such an idiot." and instead came up with, "Unless she is a vegetarian."

If he's bringing home a vegetarian one day, he'd better not move back to Texas. I mean, I am on probation and at risk of losing my Texan card because I only eat beef and chicken. I don't like pork, any kind of game or seafood. That also comes dangerously close to getting me disowned by the cajun side of my family. But a full-on vegetarian? That would be blasphemy!

We survived day 4- and I shoveled and salted the driveway, sidewalk and a path to the mailbox. It wasn't too bad- I'm guessing three inches. But the meteorologists are all in gloom/doom/snowpocalypse mode over Tuesday.

We will just have to wait and see what Tuesday holds.

I'm hoping it's a margarita and seventy degrees- or two tickets to somewhere tropical. Because then Tuesday would be my best friend ever. And Tuesday and I could make each other bracelets and trade Swatch watches.

No?

Day 3- Plan B

Tonight was supposed to be a Family Movie Night at Zoe's school. The kids have been looking forward to it all week- we were supposed to bring them in their pajamas, bring dinner ( I promised McDonald's) and the movie, popcorn and drinks would be provided. Unfortunately, because of the snow this morning, when I dropped Zoe off at school there was a sign announcing it had been canceled.

Activate Plan B.

Movie and popcorn at home.

I knew it wouldn't be as exciting as going somewhere else since we do this all the time, so I picked up some little plastic popcorn containers in the dollar bin at Target. While I was there, I saw the Charlie Brown Valentine movie for just $10 and picked it up as well.



We went to McDonald's as planned, then ate popcorn and watched the movie in our pajamas. Since the movie was really short, I had also rented Ramona and Beezus from the Redbox and we all really enjoyed that one.

After the movie, I got the kids ready for bed and told them they could sleep in my bed. Unfortunately, it turned into a big fiasco and after some shuffling around, fighting, screaming, crying, going back to individual bedrooms and then back to my room several times, it finally ended up at 10:30 with Noah in his room and Zoe in my bed. Noah will sleep with me next Friday night and Zoe ended up crying herself to sleep in my room because Noah left. (I feel the need to add a disclaimer for that wall color in my bedroom. Our bedroom is the only room in our house we have not repainted since we bought it. We did not pick that awful mustard color [it was there when we moved in -and sadly, the ceiling is painted that color too!!] we have just always invested our money into the rest of the house and the kids' rooms. Painting our bedroom is at the top of our list of projects still left to finish.)



Tomorrow, we are now looking at 2"- 6" of snow. I just don't have anything to say about that.

Day 2

Today was low-key. Both kids seemed to have a good day both at home and at school. When I picked Zoe up from preschool, her teacher said she had a good day- no problems at all. Of course then she didn't want to leave and I had to beg and plead with her to hurry up and clean up her mess so we could go and be home in time for her brother's bus. I have missed it twice this year and I fear if I miss it again, I will get in trouble.

We made it home in plenty of time for Noah's bus (thankfully!) and as soon as he got off the bus, we packed up in the van- complete with Daddy Doll- and went to Sonic for dinner. My sister-in-law gave us some Sonic gift cards for Christmas- so dinner was on her! YAY!




When we got home, I pulled out a new game that was given to me by a parent from Noah's school who was clearing out some of her kids' toys. They loved it! It was a little difficult for them, so I let Noah cheat a little bit and as long as the buzzer didn't just blatantly go off, a few little buzzes were okay. I followed the rules since my dexterity is a little better and we let Zoe have it no matter how much the buzzer went off, because just using those tweezers was hard enough for a three-year-old! Everyone had a blast and, of course, Zoe won.

Leprechaun Power!

Hooray!

We are expecting snow in the morning, but very little. I am hoping not enough to delay school- Noah, of course, is hoping for a snow day. That is, until I politely reminded him that each day he gets out for snow gets tacked on to the end of the school year.

Day One

In order to comfort the kids, I have been telling them that we will surely miss Daddy on this deployment, but that it will be an adventure and we will do fun things together to pass the time. I realized today that is an abstract statement and while it probably sounds appealing, they have no idea what to expect. Therefore, I am planning on doing something special with them every day (and not beating myself up if I fall short on some days). It doesn't have to be anything big, just something like playing a game together or allowing them to sleep in my room one night on the weekend (that is huge, we NEVER let them sleep in our room).

The kids got a Hallmark book for Christmas from my mom where you can record a voice reading the book and we had DJ record the story for them so they could play it at night. I also ordered Zoe a Daddy Doll which she loves and is already carrying everywhere she goes.

Today, I stopped by the public library and checked out the book Flat Stanley by Jeff Brown. When the kids got home from school, I read it to them and we made Flat Zoe and Flat Noah and decorated them to send to Daddy in his first care package. Zoe insisted we make Flat Mommy and Flat Lindy (the dog) as well. They had a blast making them, and we had Zoe's Daddy Doll sitting in the empty chair at the table to preside over the festivities.

Notice Daddy Doll sitting in the chair

left to right: Flat Zoe, Flat Mommy, Flat Lindy, Flat Noah

After we were done, I told them I had another special treat. I found a tiny little cake at the grocery store today for $2.99 and bought it as a celebration of making it through our first day of the deployment. Of course they loved it- who doesn't love cake?

One day behind us. Approximately 119 to go.

Empty

It's funny how the heart works.

A few hours ago, I drove home, I unbuckled the youngest from her carseat, unlocked the house, walked in and began preparing dinner. Just like almost every other day. But this one was different. Not completely out of the ordinary, mind you, but different from an average day.

Half my heart left today- for one hundred and twenty days. And since I've been a military wife for twelve years, this is nothing new to me. I've done this before. Yes, I now know what to expect, what to do in his absence and I've matured and learned to handle it all much better. But, it isn't any easier than it was that very first time that he left.

I walked in the house today and I was overcome by that empty feeling. The same empty feeling that overcomes me every single time he leaves. Suddenly, I am that twenty-six-year-old newlywed that landed in a foreign country six days after her wedding. Then, nine days after landing in that foreign country, drove back to my house off-base without my husband because he had just deployed. I walked through the door, the emptiness overwhelmed me and I looked around our home- the place that just didn't even feel like home yet, and I felt lost. I felt every mile that separated the two of us and I felt every mile that separated me from the United States where all of my friends and family were. That first day was the hardest. It always is. Then, I went to bed and I woke up with that first day behind me and low and behold, I had survived. And it was a little easier than the day before it. That is how I made it through that deployment- one day at a time. That is how I have made it through every deployment since.

Yes, technically, this is "old hat" for me. But it isn't any easier. And tonight, I sit with that empty feeling in the pit of my stomach and I feel that twenty-six-year-old newlywed crying, lost and lonely. I reassure her that everything will be okay and when she wakes up tomorrow, it will be one day closer to the day he is home again.

And so she and I will take it one day at a time.