Anatomy of an Illness (even if it is psychosomatic)

My husband came home from work early yesterday because I needed him to take Noah to piano lessons so I could attend a discussion group for the school district.

As soon as he walks in the door, I can tell he doesn't feel well. My first thought is to feel really bad because he is going to have to sit in the car with Zoe while waiting for piano lessons to be over. But my second thought?

He'd better keep that crap to himself! I don't want that!!

At 6:30, I am sitting in the library of the local high school waiting for the discussion to get underway and my thoughts drift to DJ and hoping that he is feeling a little better and the kids weren't too obnoxious.

6:32- Oh, no! I have a tickle in my throat. I had better not be getting sick!!

6:32:30 Oh whew! There was just something stuck in my throat. Silly me.

6:40- Crap! My throat is scratchy. I knew I would get sick!

6:42- Maybe I am just thirsty. I AM pretty thirsty. I bet a good drink would fix this. I'm fine.

6:50- Nope. Definitely scratchy.

7:15- Well now it went away. Weird.

7:30- Good! We're done. My throat is a little phlegmy though. I'm starving! I will go home, eat and have a big glass of iced tea- I bet I am just thirsty!

I arrive home at 7:45- help get the kids ready and into bed and then sit down with my dinner.

8:15- Ugh! The iced tea did not help and NOW my throat hurts!

I then spend the entire State of the Union Address analyzing my body's symptoms and cues and finally, at 10:30, we turn the television off and I open the medicine cabinet and take two Tylenol.

DJ looks at me, puzzled and says, "Do you have a headache?"

"NO! My throat hurts! I think I am getting whatever it is you have."

**eye roll**

"How did you get what I have? I saw you for like, five minutes when I got home this afternoon."

"Yeah, but you were facing me and snoring with your mouth open last night. I'm pretty sure you breathed your germs on me."

**another eye roll**

"LOOK! YOU COULD SHOW A LITTLE SYMPATHY- AFTER ALL, I DO HAVE STREP!!"

"Are you serious right now?"

"Well, maybe not STREP.. but my throat definitely hurts and that's the beginning of something bad. I can feel it."

"Go to sleep, Jennifer."

"Fine! But when I am hospitalized due to the Swine Flu, you are going to feel so bad for mocking me!"

**eye roll**

"Swine Flu is so 2009. Be a little more creative."

"Whatever, Petri Dish! You better hope my MRSA doesn't spread to you, 'cause THEN you will be sorry!"

He doesn't hear this- he is already snoring. (10:33)

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