Kids Today are So Pretend Lazy (Conversations with Zoe)

ZOE: When we sing Bear Hunt, we run like this (demonstrates) when the bear is chasing us!

ME: Oh wow! You run very quickly! You know, I remember singing that song when I was in preschool.

ZOE: Ohhh... that was a LONG time ago!

Me: Umm, yeah. So... what do you do when you come to the fence?

ZOE: We open the gate (demonstrates again).

ME: Hmmm... because we had to climb the fence....

ZOE : Well, it's easy to open the gate.

ME: I suppose so. What do you do when you get to the water?

ZOE: We go in a boat and use the stick things to make you go (oars).

ME: Wow- we had to swim.

ZOE: That's weird, why??

ME: Because my preschool couldn't afford pretend boats!

ZOE: (completely unmoved by my sarcastic response) Well, why didn't you just pretend the carpet was the boat? Because there are sharks and crocodiles that probably ate you.

ME: Well, I guess I didn't have to worry about the bear anymore if the sharks and crocodiles got me, huh?

ZOE: Well, when I went in the boat, I saw some sharks and they were tiny babies, so I don't think they ate you.

ME: Oh whew! I'm so glad!

ZOE: But the bear ate you because you didn't go through the gate.