Wordful Wednesday-Can You Pop 'Round for Some Tea, Telly and a Chat?

A photo I took back in 1999 while visiting Canterbury Cathedral:

After almost twelve years stationed in New Jersey- we got an assignment. In August, we will be packing up and moving to England!

What an adventure!

Stay tuned....

Tabata Bing Tabata BOOM

A week or so ago, a couple of friends were discussing a tabata workout on Facebook. I had no idea what it was, so I went to look it up. A few days later, one of those friends' sister- who writes a "getting healthy and fit" blog posted about it and linked to a particular tabata workout good for burning that stubborn mommy belly fat.

What is tabata? Well, TabataTraining.org says the following:

“Tabata” is the name of a particular type of workout program that provides similar health benefits to that of cardio workouts, but Tabata has a bit more spice. Instead of hours upon hours or exercise, Tabata can be completed in 4 minutes. Tabata falls under the category of high intensity training or high intensity interval training.

Any exercise can be incorporated into the Tabata training. However the basic outline of the Tabata training method is as follows:
• 4 minutes long (whole Tabata Session)
• 20 seconds of intense training
• 10 seconds of rest
• Total of 8 sessions or rounds

The particular workout regarding loss of belly fat had a series of 8 intense exercises. It required you to alternate between two of them for your first tabata (8 rounds), rest one whole minute and then pick two more to alternate between for your second tabata and so on and so forth for four tabatas. Read: twenty minutes.

I knew it would be hard, but I was very pumped about maximizing my efficiency and time management by fitting in a killer workout with aerobic and anaerobic benefits in twenty minutes. I promptly downloaded my free tabata timer app and got ready to start.

I really wish I had read THIS article in Shape Magazine before I tried the workout, because I neglected to include two very important variables in my grand poobah of workout plans:

a) my friends are younger than I

And most importantly:

b) my friends are in much better shape than I . They workout most days of the week and some have even taken up running. I stumble into Zumba once a week (sometimes twice if my husband is home in time for me to make an evening class), work my butt off, sweat, feel great and then stop by my friend Karyn's house on the way home to chat, catch up and eat chocolate while complaining about my belly fat. I run when I step out in the road and realize that a large vehicle is barreling toward me.

So, yeah, actually being a little bit in shape would help here. It isn't like it was when I was younger and I could just decide to workout one day, do it, feel the burn, be a little sore after, but still manage and build from there.

Nope. I am the reason they put that disclaimer to "consult your doctor before beginning any new exercise program" on exercise videos and workout plans.

Here is how my Tabata workout panned out:

My timer beeped and I began doing t-squats. Twenty seconds passed, the timer beeped again and I got to rest for ten seconds. I remember thinking, "Wow! That was awesome. Perfect timing, just when I felt I HAD to quit, the timer went off !"

Ten seconds passed and it beeped again. The next exercise was mountain climbers. I was a little winded, but managed the twenty seconds and then stopped for my ten second break.

"Wow!", I thought, "This is great! I can already feel I am working all of my muscles, I am working HARD, but just when I want to give up, it is time for rest! I can totally do this!"

BEEP- back to the t-squats.

"Okay, it's a little harder this time around. I'm not moving as quickly as I did first round, but I am still pumping it out and hanging in there!"

BEEP- "Thank God! Rest! I think the timer is broken. I swear that last round felt more like thirty seconds!"

BEEP- "SEE? There is no way that was a full ten second rest! I am still gasping for air! Back to mountain climbers- I need to tell my arms out loud not to give out so I don't face plant on the ground right now. WHERE IS THAT TIMER?"

BEEP-"Whew! That was a rough one. Deep breaths. Focus, relax, get your mind in the..

BEEP- "ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!? That was NOT ten seconds! What is that strange wheezing noise? I am going to pass out- Noah will come home from school and find me unconscious on the floor and have to dial 911. My poor baby. I hope he isn't too traumatized. I hope he remembers to dial 911."

BEEP- "SWEET LORD OF CREATION, THANK YOU FOR THE...."

BEEP- "Blessed Jesus, Mary and Jerome... I can't do this again! Even gasping, I can't fill my lungs! I can no longer feel my limbs!"

BEEP- "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death....."

At this point, I actually got lightheaded and began to see stars. I knew I had to lie down, so I crawled, clawed and spasmed my way up onto the couch and forgot to turn off the timer. I remember my life flashing before my eyes- thinking I would never feel sweet oxygen in my lungs again, wondering if one of my limbs would have to be amputated. All while being serenaded by the beeps of the timer in the background.

And then, I swear I am not exaggerating here, I fell asleep. It is possible I was unconscious- I am just not sure.

Thankfully, I have a standing alarm on my phone to go off at 3pm to remind me of Noah's bus at 3:05. From somewhere far away, I heard the marimba sound of the alarm on my phone and I opened my eyes, confused. Was it all a bad dream? I was still in the same position from when I had originally flailed myself onto the couch. I looked at the clock and realized I had been lying there for two and a half hours. TWO AND A HALF HOURS! I made it two and a half minutes into the workout and I passed out for two and half hours!

I spent the next two days trying to work out how to pee standing up, because lowering myself onto the toilet was too excruciating.

I'm also pretty sure I am going to need therapy.

Because, the microwave just beeped and my body involuntarily let out a whimper.