A Tale of Two Dresses

by

[Mad as the] Dickens

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was summer. It was winter. It was bright and cheery. It was gray and dreary. It was the reason for countless struggles. It was the reason for unbridled joy.

One was long-sleeved and adorned with festive penguins.

One was short-sleeved and adorned with glitter.

In spite of a closet full of dresses, outfits, sparkly pants and Tinkerbell shirts, these were the only two acceptable options for wear. The possessor of these treasures had handpicked them from her collection and nothing else could compare to their splendor.

Maternal nerves frayed. Headaches originated. Tantrums commenced. Shoes were thrown. Little legs froze in sub-freezing weather.

All for the sole purpose of fashion.

Fashion as determined and defined by a three-year-old.

And so the other clothes all hung, untouched, in the closet and longed to be touched, worn, CHOSEN.

All at the expense of two dresses.

THE dresses.

In her eyes...

...perfection.

Passive Aggressive Letters from the Edge

Dear Dog,

When I come home, don't jump off the couch you were not supposed to be on in the first place and run go lie in your bed and pretend you've been there all day. The couch is still warm and there are nose/tongue smears on the window.

So, unless there is a very warm and slobbery ghost in my house, you are sooo busted.

Signed,

Don't Tick Off the Hand that Feeds You

Naughty or Nice?

I'm sorry for the lack of posts, but we are having some serious discipline problems with my daughter right now- as in I've had to go up to her school regarding them- and all of the creativity and energy is just being sucked right out of me right now.

In honor of my daughter's bad behavior, I will repost the story of her naughty visit to see Santa last year that I was almost certain would result in her being moved to the naughty list.

This was posted on November 30, 2009:

**************************************************

We don't do Mall Santa. The one and only time we did Mall Santa was November 2003 when Noah was three months old and I was visiting home in Texas. We went to the mall there and it was so totally NOT crowded ( I know the people that are from Southeast TX are going to argue with me, but trust me, it's NOT crowded- try a mall in Jersey!).


Since then, we have always been here for Christmas and I am NOT standing in line for two hours with small children to see Santa. That is a recipe for an epic tantrum. I'm not sure if that tantrum would be mine or my children's, but I don't intend to find out, either. Still, we always manage to find some Santa substitute each year, usually at DJ's squadron children's party.


Yesterday, we needed to go to Penney's and didn't feel like driving to the real (meaning: decent) mall, so we went to our local crap mall. I'm not exaggerating.. this mall still has Penney's, Sears and Macy's and that is all that is keeping it afloat ( that and the Chuck E Cheese in the parking lot). There is also a Bath and Body Works and a Victoria's Secret, but all the other major retailers ( Gap, Children's Place, Express, Limited...) all gone! That's what I mean.. crap mall.


So, we're walking through the crap mall to verify that it is still in fact, CRAP, and we walk through the center to see... Santa! Santa was smiling and waving and "ho ho ho"-ing to everyone who passed. No line. So we decided, what the heck... we haven't been sufficiently tortured today and Zoe has had no major meltdowns yet, so what better than Mall Santa to throw Zoe into a frenzy?


Now, I have to admit, Mall Santa was really good. He discreetly found out the kids' names ahead of time so he could address them by name. He spoke very calmly and sweetly to Zoe, keeping his distance. He suggested that maybe I just have Noah stand next to him rather than sit in his lap and get Zoe to stand on the other side using Noah as a buffer between herself and the overgrown jolly one. We got quite a few shots that included my arm holding a very unhappy Zoe in place, some of a blur of Zoe running away and then Santa pulled out the candy canes.


Stop the presses, the creepy stranger has candy! Zoe was suddenly very interested! Of course she still wasn't going within a thirty foot radius of him. Noah and Santa were instructed to just keep staring at the camera and smiling no matter what. Zoe's need for the sweet striped confection within the jolly old elf's grasp overpowered the stranger danger and she was lured in. She crept over to him and grabbed the candy cane, but still had her back to the camera. DJ and I called out, " Zoe!! What do you have??" and she turned toward the camera, pointed at us to tell us, "No!!" ( as in, "You two keep out of this!!") and the photographer snapped the shot in that small nanosecond because what followed that tiny moment captured on film, was a series of events that are sure to make Santa rethink Zoe's "naughty or nice" status on his list.


So, Zoe snagged the candy cane, turned to yell, " No!" at myself and DJ, and in one fluid movement, whirled around, smacked an unsuspecting Noah in the head with the candy cane ( on purpose, not on accident), threw her head back, let out a maniacal laugh and ran off! There was silence for a moment then Noah yelped, " Owwww Zoe!!!", Santa snickered under his breath and DJ and I stared helplessly at the photographer who was beaming from ear to ear because she had the shot!


"We'll take it!" we announced in unison and left with a ridiculously overpriced photo and lofty dreams of coal in Zoe's stocking Christmas morning!

Life Lessons Learned

I have two quick anecdotes today.

The first started a few weeks ago when Zoë started saying, "Oh my God" a lot. I told her one day that wasn't a very nice thing to say and that she should say, "Oh my goodness." instead. She nodded her head and went about her way.

A couple of nights ago, I heard Noah and Zoë in the tub.

NOAH: You know who made the lawn?

ZOË: WHO????

NOAH: God

ZOË: **GASP**(then whispering) Mommy say don't say God, say goodness.

So now my kid thinks God is a bad word. Nice.

*******

Zoë's classroom has what they call "busy bees". It is basically their jobs. They pick their job for the week from things such as door holder, snack helper etc. Sometimes if they are not behaving themselves, they will lose their busy bee for the day.

Today, Zoë had two meltdowns. One massive one which I actually heard because I was volunteering ( I was not in her classroom and she did not know I was there) and happened to be taping notes to the cubbies out in the hall when I heard her screaming. I heard her teacher firmly tell her, " No hitting. I do not hit you, so you don't hit me!"

On the way home from school, I was talking to her about her sad choices. I told her that sometimes we all make sad choices- even Mommy and Daddy make sad choices. I gave her examples and then followed it up with, "So, everyone makes sad choices sometimes, but it is important that we realized we made a sad choice. And what do you think we should do next?" (I paused giving her a chance to answer, but was going to then tell her that we should apologize to the person we hurt either with our hands or our words) I didn't get to answer the question because she did

" Ummmm???? Lose our busy bee?"

Noahott andZoello

While preparing some Thanksgiving items on Wednesday evening, I inadvertently found myself in the middle of an Abbott and Costello routine. I was happily mixing up homemade cornbread for the dressing and my kids were in the kitchen "helping" a.k.a. watching/fighting/getting in my way. I had my iPod playing on shuffle and Zoë was interrogating me about each song as it played.

A new song began and she asked, "Mommy, what's the name of this song?"

ME: Your Song

ZOË: MY song!?

ME: No, the NAME of the song is Your Song.

ZOË: It has Zoë in it?

ME: Noooooo.... it isn't Zoë's song. The song is CALLED Your Song.

NOAH: Wait, what's the name of the song again?

ME: YOUR SONG!!!!!

ZOË: NO!! It's MY song!!!!!!

Thanks a lot, Elton John. Next time, use the name of the person you are singing about and it will save me a lot of trouble.

November Blows (Mostly)

I apologize. My posts have been very sporadic and I am weeks behind on reading blogs. I have hardly been on the computer during the month of November. You see, every year, I forget how much November blows. I mean that literally and figuratively.

As beautiful as the end of October is with all the vibrant fall foliage, November blows through with wind and cold fronts and strips the trees of their browned leaves. We spend a lot of time outside trying to stay on top of raking and bagging the leaves before the freezing weather sets in and we have no motivation to go outside. It is the last ditch effort at yard cleanup before the ground becomes frozen, the vegetation turns to brown and the snow comes and covers it all until spring.

November figuratively blows because it flies by so quickly- and the kids are out of school a majority of the month. Let me break it down for you with a visual, because just explaining it doesn't get the point across:

(this is just the school schedule and does not include soccer, two teacher conferences, thanksgiving feast at Zoe's school, volunteering for the book fair at Noah's school, a visitation day at Noah's school, meetings, doctors appointments etc)

And, then, November is gone and I have accomplished nothing.

But there is one good thing about November- my wedding anniversary. On November 21, 1998, I walked down the aisle of a small church to the altar where DJ was waiting for me. We said a few things, we giggled a bit because we were nervous with everyone watching us, we kissed and then we walked back up that same aisle as husband and wife. I don't remember a lot about the actual ceremony- but that is because it really wasn't that important. It's not about the wedding, it's about the marriage and in the past twelve years, we have built a marriage. We've been through living in a foreign country, lengthy separations due to deployments, the loss of a pregnancy (WHILE DJ was deployed), the loss of DJ's mother, the birth and very difficult first eighteen months of a very cranky baby that never slept and the birth and rough start to life of our second child who was eventually transported to a children's hospital before being released to come home with us. All of these things could have torn us apart or made us stronger. I won't lie. None of them were easy. But, we leaned on each other and it has only strengthened our bond.

After all, it is us against them ("them" being these crazy kids) and we have to stick together or they might take over the house. And I've already been locked out of my house twice- it wasn't pleasant.

Happy twelfth anniversary, DJ, here's to many more. I love you.

CSI- El Baño

CSI
New York

My Bathroom

Saturday, November 13, 2o1o
2:30pm:

Our dispatch received a distress call from the north end of the house- the transcript of the call is as follows:

Caller: Mommy!? Can you help me? I DIDN'T pee-pee on the floor!"

The Mom Squad was immediately dispatched at high-speed to investigate the report.

Upon arrival, a three-year-old was found naked from the waist down and a rather large puddle of liquid was observed on the bathroom floor.

Interrogation followed.

Suspect: I didn't pee-pee.
Officer: If you didn't pee, then what is that on the floor?
Suspect: Water?
Officer: Okay, then where did the water come from?
Suspect: My vagina.

The suspect was showered, issued new undergarments and light community service (helping with clean-up of the crime scene) and was then sent on her way to hopefully become a productive, contributing, peeing-in-the-toilet member of society.

Case closed.

The Major Veteran's Day Faux Pas

Noah came home from school yesterday and informed me that they had their Veteran's Day assembly. He was all in a huff over it. Apparently a major faux pas had been committed and no one he complained to seemed to take notice.

A year ago, the military bases in our area which are all located within a close proximity of each other, all merged to form one large joint superbase. And although the majority of the population is comprised of Army and Air Force, we are now seeing an influx of quite a few families associated with Marines, Navy and Coast Guard. They are all represented here.

During the school assembly, a medley of all the armed forces songs was played in a sing-along-style with accompanying video. Noah's first complaint? The Coast Guard was left out. He thought that extremely unfair. His second complaint? When they played the Air Force Song (we are an Air Force family) the accompanying video was of NAVY jets. And this infuriated Noah. He ranted, "How could they NOT notice it? They CLEARLY had "Navy" painted on them!!" I suggested perhaps they were trying to show how all the branches work together for one purpose. He wasn't having it.

So, on the off-chance that someone in film is reading my blog ( yeah, right!), can you please make a video including all the services, including Coast Guard? And for the love of all that his holy, PLEASE don't show a Navy jet when the Air Force song is playing.

Or you will have to answer to Noah.

Here ya go, little man- this one's for you: **singing**

Off we go into the wild blue yonder,
Climbing high into the sun;
Here they come zooming to meet our thunder,
At 'em boys, Give 'er the gun! (Give 'er the gun now!)
Down we dive, spouting our flame from under,
Off with one helluva roar!
We live in fame or go down in flame. Hey!
Nothing'll stop the U.S. Air Force!

**cue fly-by**

(photo credit- US Air Force)

Politics As Usual

With all the election hype wrapping up, I was remembering my favorite election/Noah story. I went searching through my blog archives and was shocked to see that I never blogged about it. It is one of my all-time favorite Noah stories and definitely something I wanted to record, so if you can stomach a little more politics, I promise it is worth it.

It was spring of 2008 and Noah was wrapping up his year in pre-school 4. His pre-school teacher was awesome in giving them just enough information about the world without overwhelming them. They had talked about how the president runs the country and the current president was George Bush, but that it was a very important year because our country would have to pick a new president and there were lots of people that wanted to be our next president. She also told them that there were two sides- one was blue and one was red and their mascots were a donkey and an elephant.

I was surprised Noah absorbed this much information, but he did and he began to watch the political ads on television and ask questions. Every ad he would ask me, "Mommy? Does he/she want to be president?" And then he would ask me which side they were on, blue or red, and what their name was. Eventually, it was decided that John McCain would run on the Republican ticket, but Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton were still battling it out for the Democratic ticket. We were careful not to talk about what our particular affiliation was so as not to confuse or corrupt his little mind. Politics are not for children. Or so we thought.

One afternoon after a particular grueling question and answer session from Noah regarding the candidates, I pulled up the internet and we went to the campaign sites of all three candidates. Noah studied their pictures, learned their names and their party affiliations and finally announced to me, "Well, I want Barack (he pronounced it MA-RACK at the time) Obama to win!" I was shocked that he was even this interested, let alone was choosing a candidate to support.

ME: "Wow, Noah. Can you tell me why you think Barack Obama should win?"

NOAH: "Because he is on the blue side and blue is my favorite color."

ME: "Fair enough, but Hillary Clinton is also blue, why shouldn't she win?"

NOAH: "Because Barack Obama is a boy and I'm a boy! So he should win."

I have to admit I was slightly offended at this sexist statement, but I let it go. After all, I told myself, he is FOUR!

I relayed this story to all my friends and family who, depending on their own affiliations, were either amused or horrified. It was a joke for awhile and Noah began to proudly trumpet his support of Barack Obama for president.

In April, I took both the kids and drove home to visit family, stopping in North Carolina at my best friend's house to stay a few days. She, of course, had heard the story and couldn't wait to get at Noah to question him all about his political opinions. We were getting ready for bed and she said, "So, Noah, why do you think Barack Obama is going to win the presidency?"

And without skipping a beat, Noah answered, "Because he approves the message!" (based on all the ads he had been watching where they say, "I'm Barack Obama and I approve this message.") We laughed hysterically for a bit and then went to bed.

The following November, Noah could not be convinced that he was not voting for president. I've told y'all before what a little old man he is. I think he sometimes thinks he is really an adult. He could not be consoled, so while he was at school on election day, I printed out a sheet of paper with a picture of John McCain and a picture of Barack Obama with their names printed in red and blue respectively next to their pictures and instructions to "circle your choice".

When Noah got home from school that day, he happily took his pen and circled Barack Obama as his choice for president.

To this day, he thinks he voted in that election. I'm not going to be the one to tell him otherwise.

The NUMBER ONE Reason Why I Change the Face Towel at Least Twice a Day

We live in a small house. It only has one bathroom.

Let me repeat that. We only have ONE bathroom.

Since everyone uses the same bathroom all the time, I generally changed the face/hand towel every few days. And up until a few weeks ago, that has been sufficient.

For the first time in the twelve years my husband and I have been married, we've run out of towels. They are all in the wash. "What has contributed to this great towel shortage?", you might ask.

Several weeks ago, I was drying my face after washing it and noticed the towel smelled... off. I thought maybe I had left it a little long and forgotten to change it out, so I changed it and went about my day.

The next day, the towel smelled bad again. I can't describe the smell.. it isn't anything specific, just used. I thought perhaps there had been an increase in dirty-child-hand/face-washing activity, so I changed the towel and put it behind me.

The next day, same thing. The towel needed changing and I could not figure out what was going on... until two weeks later.

I walked into the bathroom one evening to assist in the nightly toothbrushing routine just in time to catch Zoe as she finished peeing on her little potty. I watched as she got up, took the bowl out of her little potty, dumped it in the big potty, rinsed the bowl out in the bathroom sink and then WIPED IT DRY WITH THE FACE TOWEL!

Mystery solved.

Just to be safe, if I miss supervising Zoe's potty time, I change the towel.

And THAT is why we are out of towels.

And bleach.

The Agony of Defeat

We lost.

Every year one of our kids wins a costume contest and this year, we lost. I was certain one of them would win because their costumes were awesome and yet we came up short. It's humbling. And I think it might have cured my competitive addiction.

You see, every year, when one of the kids wins, I come home already thinking about what they might be the next year. This year, I came home thinking, "Next year, I'm buying their costumes at the store."

And just like that, the Chaos Family reign has come to an end.

Here were Zoë and Noah in their costumes this year: (the lighting was awful inside and I couldn't get the settings on the camera right to save my life, so I caved and used the automatic function which of course used the flash, washing them out)

Lego Boba Fett from the Lego Star Wars game and Strawberry Shortcake to go with my daughter's red hair.

There were four categories for the costume contest- Most Original Boy, Most Original Girl, Most Original Family and Most Original Homemade.

Most Original Boy went to a little boy dressed as The Joker. I didn't get a picture because when they awarded the prizes, they could not find him.

Most Original Girl went to a little girl dressed as an old lady:


Most Original Family went to a brother and sister dressed as the regular, yellow Lego people- which were really cute:


And Most Original Homemade went to two boys dressed as a pair of dice:

But, at least one really cute moment happened. While some of the smaller children appeared a little scared of Noah since he looked like a robot, one adorable little bumblebee could not leave his side. She walked right up to him and held his hand the entire time they were on the dance floor.


This post is being linked with SITS day 3 of the Halloween link-up where one lucky blogger will win a Canon DSLR.

Hooooo Dat?

There is a FABULOUS contest going on over at SITS right now to win a Canon Rebel T2i. Saturday we were supposed to link a blog with pictures and the theme of Halloweens past. Today, we are supposed to show something crafty we made for Halloween and tomorrow, we will link up what our kids dressed as this year.

Friday, while my daughter was wearing her costume and enjoying a Halloween party at pre-school, my son was costume-less and enjoying a Fall Festival. His school opted out of Halloween celebrations a few years ago because they didn't like excluding the children that didn't celebrate Halloween. That meant, no more character days or costume parades and absolutely none of the cupcakes, cookies, candies or decorations could having anything to do with Halloween. We got a very specific letter regarding what was and was not allowed. Only fall and harvest-themed items. In addition, the letter explained that each grade was tasked with bringing a specific item. Second grade was awarded the cupcakes.

I had tons of ideas for cute Halloween cupcakes, but was really struggling with fall. I pondered it for a bit- What makes me think of fall? Leaves, scarecrows, owls, harvest moons and, ahem, HALLOWEEN! I let the last one go and then turned to my best friend for ideas- Google.

After looking at page after page of cupcakes, here is what I finally decided to make. I think they are adorable!

"Whooooooo's not a Halloween cupcake? We are, that's WHOOOOO!" [ba-dum-bump]

Because of peanut allergies in the school, everything had to be checked for peanut contamination labels. I used a cake mix and frosting that were peanut-free, the Oreos are peanut-free and the original idea called for M&M's for eyes and a cashew for the nose, so I substituted Skittles for both.

Now, whooooo's the cutest cupcake ever?

Alright, WISE GUY, I'm looking at you!

I don't give a hoot what you think, stop your screeching or I'm crying fowl.

Alright.. you can quit cringing, I'm done.

Slacker

This year has really thrown me off my game. I feel like I am perpetually behind and running around like a chicken with my head cut off whereas normally I am on top of things. It is a combination of both of my kids being in school and now having functions, permission slips, information forms, required meetings AND my husband's night schedule that has him either home and occupying me during the day OR home and sleeping requiring me to either be very quiet around the house or be out of the house all day. How's THAT for a run-on sentence? I won't be correcting it, because the chaos and lack of organization in that sentence accurately reflects the same in my life right now.

Normally this time of year, I have whipped up awesome Halloween crafts, cards, projects, treats and costumes but I have accomplished NOTHING this year. Nada. I am thankful that I somehow managed to delegate the kids' costumes to other people, because I don't know that I would have done it had the responsibility fallen to me. And that is so not me. I hate feeling like this.

The last crafty thing I accomplished was Zoe's Ice Cream Parlour birthday party in August. For today's Mama Kat's Workshop, one of the prompts was to "show us something you've created for Halloween" and I am going to link up this post from Halloween last year. I just wanted to have an explanation in case someone followed the link and then landed on my current posts.

If you have been with me for awhile, I apologize for the repeat, but if you are new.. enjoy!

Hopefully I will get my groove back soon. Has anyone seen it?

Fall

I grew up on the gulf coast where we didn't have seasons. It was hot, hotter and football weather (which is jacket weather in southeast Texas, but still short-sleeved weather further north). I once saw a "travel Texas" ad in Texas Monthly that said, "Sure we have winter in Texas! Last year, it was on a Tuesday." I think that about sums it up.

So, when we landed in New Jersey ten years ago, I was plunged right into winter without getting to experience fall first. I hate cold weather and I hate snow. I was miserable. But the following autumn, I was amazed. And right then and there, I fell in love with New Jersey. Don't get me wrong, when winter rolls around, I still have a love/hate relationship with the area, but I can honestly say that three out of the four seasons, I love it here!

Fall is hands down, my favorite! Such beautiful colors!

[Arney's Mount Friends Meeting House (Quakers) near Juliustown, NJ -date on bldg is 1775]

[Kirby's Mill- near Medford, NJ]

**this is being linked to Wordful Wednesday hosted by Dumb Mom at parenting BY dummies.

Sisterhood of the Expanding Pants

Back in 2005, I bought what will probably go down in history as my favorite pair of jeans. Ever. Yes, it really was THAT dramatic. I got them at American Eagle and they fit perfectly, were comfortable and I looked great in them. I loved them so much that I wore them to their death.

Five years is a long time to withstand what I put those jeans through. About a year and a half ago, they developed a hole in the knee. That just made them even more awesome and I continued to wear them. About six months ago, the denim around the back pocket started wearing really thin. They made it a few more months until they broke down and the pocket and the pants began parting like the Red Sea. It was time to let them go. I mourned their passing by wearing yoga pants- defiant at buying a new pair of awesome jeans for fear it would disrespect the memory of the AE jeans.

I believe I am beginning to heal, because deep within my soul, stirs the desire for a new pair of fabulous jeans. The desire comes and goes but tonight, when a covert Halloween costume mission brought me to the mall, I finally felt I was ready. I walked into American Eagle.

Lining the wall were various washes and cuts of "skinny jeans." I began to pout.

"Can I help you?" the skinny, young sales girl that was probably in middle school when I bought my last pair of AE jeans asked.

"Um, er, I'm just looking at the jeans."

[sweet smile]

"Any ones in particular?"

"No, I'm just looking right now, thanks."

I scan the wall in front of me and see that they are all skinny jeans. I walk to the next wall which is displaying "slim boot cut jeans".

"Hi there! Is there anything particular you are looking for?" another slightly-older but still twenty-something salesgirl asked.

"Well, yes. I had a pair of AE jeans that I wore until they literally came apart at the seams and I was looking for another pair. They were not skinny jeans. They were just regular jeans."

"Well by 'regular jeans' I'm not sure what you mean because they all have a name. Were they perhaps The Boyfriend Jean?"

[blank stare]

" I don't know what they were called. They had a classic fit, snug in the thighs, mid-rise and slight boot cut."

"Ohhhhhh..... how long ago was this? Because we had the original but have discontinued making them. I suggest you try these slim jeans, though. Don't let the name 'slim' scare you. They fit really well."

I grabbed two different sizes in that pair and proceeded to the dressing room to try them on. I will spare you the details, but one pair did fit. They even looked pretty good with my longer tee. That is, until, I had to bend or squat at which point anyone within twenty feet of me would get way more than they bargained for in the form of a clear view of all that God gave me. In other words, they were pretty low-rise. And, when you are a mom, bending and squatting tends to come up on occasion.

I walked out of the dressing room where older (and by older I mean this one was possibly of drinking age, but still far younger than myself) salesgirl was waiting on me with a hopeful look. I shook my head and told her the rise was too low. She took the jeans and said, " Those are the highest rise we have..."

[WOW]

"... Perhaps you can try The Gap. They still carry their classic jean."

Embarrassed, I walked out making a bee-line for the mall exit with no intention of stopping by The Gap or any other store.

As I headed out of the store, I heard salesgirl #1- the younger one- say, "Sorry about that. Have a great night!" chirpily. I glanced over my shoulder at her to bid her farewell, and I noticed she had that look on her face.

Pity.

She was smiling, but it was a pity smile. She was pitying me for having that awkward mom shape and for walking my old, uncool badonk-a-donk into her store.

I hurried out the nearest exit to my awaiting mini-van, cranked up the Springsteen and made a mental note that perhaps I should be on the lookout for these...

{Saturday Night Live Mom Jeans}

...and that in the future, I should remember that, from this day forward, AE is dead to me.

Wordful Wednesday- Bringing Da Halloween

If you know me, you know when it comes to Halloween, I like to bring it!

It all started innocently enough, when Noah was only 14 months old and we were pondering what costume to get for him for Halloween that would incorporate a stroller since he wasn't walking very well yet. We were strolling through IKEA, as we often did back in those simpler days, and passed a cute little tin garbage can and I off-handedly said, " How cute! We could make Noah Oscar the Grouch and roll him around in that can!" And the lightbulb went off and the wheels started turning.


We took him to the Halloween party at the base indoor pool that year and he won first prize. And that was it... we were bitten by the bug. We had to represent and defend our title.

So, the Halloween when Noah was two, his favorite character was Bob the Builder. So, I set out to make him a costume that was awesome and unlike any Bob the Builder costume you can buy.


So I had to make it more about the accessory than the outfit. He wouldn't put on his hard hat for the picture, so it is sitting on Scoop. But, alas, we did not win the costume contest at the pool this year. And I was out for blood. By golly, I would WIN IT next year.. I mean HE would win it next year. Ahem.... **blushing**

So, when Noah was three, it was just weeks before Halloween and I was feeling the pressure. I had no grand revelations. Nothing was jumping out at me. So, we made a visit to the Halloween store and I saw the cutest little top hat.. and thought of Moneybags from Monopoly, and VOILA!




He won the contest at the pool that year. WOOT!

So, when Noah was four, Zoe had just entered our lives two months earlier. I now had TWO children to worry about. Noah discovered Legos that year and his favorite color was blue.



And Zoe was only two months old, so she had no opinion on what she wore and I needed something that could just BE.


And much to Noah's chagrin, Zoe won the costume contest that year.

The following year, when Noah was five and Zoe was 14 months, Noah was still holding a grudge for losing the costume contest the previous year and insisted on a store-bought Darth Vader costume. I complied.



Then,I focused my attention on Zoe. Turns out, the few months prior, she finally started growing hair and it was red!! So, I went with it.


Zoe won the costume contest again at the pool party.

The following year, Noah was still bitter about Zoe winning the contest two years in a row and a little angry at himself for taking himself out of the running the previous year by going with a store-bought costume. I had already decided I wanted Zoe to be a scarecrow and I wanted him to be a crow. He refused. That is, until I found an article on Halloween decorations and showed him a "scary Halloween raven" and convinced him to be a raven. ( to be confused with a crow by everyone else, but that was what I wanted... shhhh.. don't tell him)




The bases had recently merged into one super joint base and we learned that the pool Halloween party had lost its funding, so we attended my husband's squadron party. Zoe won. Noah was mad.

So, this year, Noah has stepped up the competition, but, alas we have no costume contest to attend. The pool will not be funded again this year and my husband's new squadron has their kids' party on a Thursday afternoon at 4pm rather than a Saturday like his previous squadron. Zoe has a soccer game that Thursday afternoon and Noah doesn't even get home from school until 4:05, so we will not be attending the squadron party.

As for the specifics. I got off easy this year. My husband is making Noah's costume ( which is AWESOME and will have to be revealed in a later post because it is not yet finished) and my mother made Zoe's costume. I decided what I wanted Zoe to be and when my mother was visiting in August for Zoe's birthday, we went to pick out a pattern for a dress that looked like I envisioned in my mind. I already had the hat (from THIS prank) and bought the tights.





Now, if I could just find some strawberry-scented body spray to make her smell....

**this post is being linked to Wordful Wednesday hosted by Dumb Mom and is also being linked and entered in Dumb Mom's Happily (un)Haunted Photo Contest ( see how I still found a way to enter a Halloween costume contest? It's a sickness, really.)

**and apparently, when I blog past midnight, I use the word "so" a lot. I could easily just edit this and clean it up. However, I cringe when I read it, so I'm leaving it as is to remind myself if I do happen to blog past midnight, to save it and proofread in the morning BEFORE I publish.

Zen and the Art of Cleaning the Fish Bowl

There are lessons to be learned in everything in life. One just has to pause and look around them for all the wisdom the universe is just waiting to impart through experiences, revelations, intuition and struggles.

For example, let's take my recent experience of cleaning the fishbowl:

Lesson 1- Don't trust adorable little rugrats when they promise and swear with all their allowance, Legos, princesses and candy that they will take care of the fish.

I didn't want the fish. They skeeve me just a little bit and I didn't want to be the one that had to take care of it. But, basic human compassion made me have pity on the poor thing. I feed him at least one meal a day and sometimes two because my responsible offspring forget. When I walk in Noah's room, Phineas (get it? "Fin" for short!) gets very excited to see someone that might throw him a pellet. The poor guy is virtually ignored with only some Lego space ships and a Halloween window cling to keep him company most of the time. Eventually, his water starts to resemble a junior high science experiment and I give in and clean his bowl.

Lesson 2- Regarding self-fulfilling prophecies- if you fret about something enough, you will bring it to fruition.

Reason numero uno for my not wanting to clean the fish bowl is having to scoop Phin out of his bowl with the little net thingie. Those suckers jump and my biggest fear was him jumping out of that net and having to scoop his flopping, writhing body up with my hands. While cleaning the bowl the other day, this very thing happened. Phin- half fish, half kangaroo- bounced his scaly self out of the net and onto my kitchen island where he promptly started flopping around. Luckily I was the only one at home because I may or may not have screamed like a little girl.

Lesson 3- Don't be ashamed to admit when you need help and have the courage to ask for it.

I tried to scream loud enough that a neighbor might hear and come to my assistance. When that didn't work, I asked for Divine intervention. If God wouldn't kill the innocent fish for me, then would He please just strike me down so that I would have an excuse for not picking up the fish. It would all look like some horrible aquatic accident and I would escape being known as a murderer by my children.

Lesson 4- There are some things for which you must forgive yourself and let them go.

I may have hoped, for just a nanosecond, that the dog would swoop in and just eat the fish and I wouldn't have to worry about it.

Lesson 5- When overwhelmed, take a step back, assess the situation and allow your intuition to present you with a solution.

After completely freaking out and losing control of all my senses for a moment, I realized that Phin was flopping on the school lunch menu and was able to pick up the paper menu with the fish on it and plop him back in the water without having to touch him.

Lesson 7- No harm, no foul.

If nobody or nothing was hurt in the process, it is okay to pretend it never happened.

Lesson 8- Adversity builds character.

And vocabulary. I was a pretty colorful character with an even more colorful vocabulary.

Lesson 9- Surviving a traumatic experience makes you aware of your inner-strength.

Shut up. It WAS traumatic. And I'm a freakin' rock.

Lesson 10- Pass on the knowledge. Don't hoard the wisdom, you are meant to go forth and teach what you have learned to others.

And thus, this is my gift to you, young Grasshopper. If you are diligent in your studies and meditation ( or persistent in your refusal to get a fish), you too can be as wise as I am someday.

You're welcome.

The Dark Side of Motherhood- Raising a Girl with Confidence

Jennifer from Momma Made it Look Easy has been writing a series on her blog regarding moxie. It's a very serious subject that hits home for me. I am the mother of a daughter and I want her to grow up to be a strong, confident woman. Jennifer opens the discussion on how to raise a girl/woman like that primarily focusing on setting a good example for our daughters to follow. You can read one of her moxie posts (which includes links to her other ones) here. I strongly suggest you read them. I'll wait.

You back? Great! Moving on...

I think this is something we all struggle with. We want our children to understand boundaries and know their limits. We want them to understand when it is not okay to cross the line, but we don't want to break their spirit in the process and render them unable to take action when action is needed.

If you've been reading my blog for more than two posts, you know my daughter is full of strong-will. And attitude. Right now, it irks me to no end. It tires me and sometimes I think SHE is breaking MY spirit! I have to remember that I am the adult and I have to make her understand who is in charge here and what her boundaries are WITHOUT making her think she always needs to back down when challenged. It's a fine line.

I think what I am trying to say is that I want her to grow up feeling absolutely beautiful (enough to dress like a princess if she likes), yet strong and independent enough to protect herself and her domain (or her side of the galaxy- whichever may apply).

Like this:

When this, umm, Princess Vader? Lady Dark Lord? Queen Sith? appeared in my kitchen, I knew she totally had it.

And I think I want to borrow some of it.

** I am also linking this post with Dumb Mom's Mom Tip Tuesday- my tip? The yin and the yang- how to balance the masculine and the feminine. Okay.. it's a stretch, but she's understanding like that... so if you don't like it, then my tip is to first leave me a comment, and then go away with your critical self.

A Dog, A Medley, Poop and a Favorite Television Show

Since one of the main reasons I started this blog was to document the little things my kids do and say so I don't forget them in the future, I sometimes include posts with random snippets of conversation around our house.

The highlight reel from this week includes:

[Noah talking to his MeMaw on the phone] "We got a dog, she's a boxer!" [pause] "No, she's not white, she's, ummm... [I'm waiting for "tan", "brown", "beige" or even her official color of "fawn"] ... she's hardwood floor color!"

[Zoe was walking through the living room, totally ATE IT- cartoon-style with legs flying in the air- jumped up, brushed herself off, giggled and said,] "I was being on the People Fall Down Show. " [ the name she uses to refer to Wipeout]

[I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth when Noah came in and remarked that I needed to hurry because he had to go poop. I told him I would be done in a second and he was mouthing at me while walking down the hallway. I walked out of the bathroom and yelled,] "NOAH- JUST GO POOP ALREADY AND STOP SASSING ME!" [He continued to sass me and I yelled at him to,] "JUST GO POOP, NOAH!" And I heard Zoe reply with a great deal of attitude herself, "YEAH, Bubba!" [dramatic sigh] "Go poop. You GET a lollipop!" *

And finally, Zoe's, um, creative medley of the songs she's been singing at preschool: [imagine this sung at full volume in the minivan with a captive audience]

"Twinkle, twinkle, traffic light

On the corner shining bright

Red means stop

Green means go.

W-X-Y and Z

Now I know my A-B-C's

Won't my Mo-mmy be so proud of me

I'm squishing up my baby bumble bee

Won't my Mo-mmy be so proud of me.

TA-DA!"

*Zoe is potty trained as far as pee goes, but poop still requires bribery. She gets a lollipop when she goes poop on the potty.

Ten Things I Love About Fall

1. School starts!! ( or, the kids go away for a few hours!)

2. Soccer

3. Jacket weather
4. Beautiful Foliage

5. Pumpkin patch

6. Apple orchard7. Putting out the fall/Halloween decorations


8. Carving a jack-o-lantern

9. Halloween costumes

10. Family time outdoors



This post is part of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop- prompt#5 - Ten reasons why you are glad it's fall.