If Buddhists are Correct, I Will Be Awesome in My Next Life and DJ Will Smell Badly

Another honest-to-goodness conversation I recently had with my husband:

I don't want to be there when y'all cook the crawfish. I can't watch.

Oh good grief! Why not?

Because you throw them live in boiling water and that just seems mean.

For Heaven's sake, you are CAJUN- surely this has come up before.

Yes, I have been to plenty of crawfish boils and I didn't like it then either. Also, when some get out of the cooler and are crawling across the yard, it seems like they are chasing you and it scares me.

Because crawfish are known for their lightning speed.

I'm just telling you how I feel. Besides, how would you like me to just throw you in a pot of boiling water?

Crawfish are pretty simple creatures. Do you also like to think the hamburger comes from a hamburger tree?

I know animals have to be killed for me to eat. I just don't want to meet the animal first. And I certainly don't want to witness it. And I would like to think that they kill the cow humanely.

Okay. You continue thinking that.

Besides, if there is such a thing as reincarnation, what if I come back as a human and you come back as a crawfish and I boil you and eat you?

Well, I will just be playing along in a ditch, and then I will be dead and I won't care.

Maybe then I will come back as a shit fly.

And that ended the conversation.

How can I argue with someone who aspires to be a "shit fly" in their next life?

Conversations with DJ

Last Friday, DJ texted me that he was about to board his plane and would see me that evening. He had been in California for a few days and was headed back to the East Coast that night.

ME: Okay. Be safe and I will see you tonight! What do you want for dinner?

DJ: Oh... I don't know. It's 6:30am here, I'm not thinking about dinner.

ME: Every. Single. Time. I ask you that question, you never answer.

DJ: Well, I do....

ME: It is always "I don't know." or " I don't care."

DJ: That is because I really don't care. I approach that question like a guy, whereas you approach it like a woman.

ME: What is that supposed to mean?

DJ: YOU think, "Weeelll... I'm not really feeling beef-y today. I'm feeling more chicken-y. But my body says I need a salad. And it's too hot outside for something really hot or spicy, so I am thinking maybe something chicken-y and light with lettuce..... I dunno."

DJ: Here is MY thought process: Task at hand, task at hand, task at hand, task at hand, ooohh, I'm hungry, task at hand, task at hand, drive home from work, yeah- food- yum.

DJ: SO, "I don't know." or " I don't care." really means I don't know or I don't care! I will pretty much eat whatever you put in front of me.

ME: Fine! So.. pizza tonight?

DJ: Sure. I don't care.

I ordered pizza- half meat-lovers for him and half veggie-lovers for me...

...because my body was telling me I needed some vegetables.

And he was totally okay with that.

**I am linking up with Momma Made it Look Easy, Share Your Awesome!