Noah-isms, Part Soixante-Deux

A few gems out of Noah's mouth recently.

December 23- we took the kids out riding around to look at Christmas lights. We had hot chocolate and turned the radio to one of the stations playing Christmas music. Everyone was feeling very festive and enjoying themselves when Noah reminded us:

*SIGH* "Well, it's a good thing I don't have school tomorrow, guys, because it's nine o'clock! An hour past my bedtime!"

December 26- we took the kids to see Alvin and the Chipmunks, The Squeakquel. Again, everyone seemed to have a great time. After the movie, I said, " Noah, we can download the soundtrack to this movie to your MP3 player so you can listen to the songs! Won't that be great?"

"No, I didn't really like the music that much." ( *I* want the music for MY Ipod.. I thought it was great!!!)

Last night after the kids were in bed, DJ got up in the attic and was handing the luggage down to me. Noah opened his door and was glaring at us. I asked what his problem was and he replied:

" I can't sleep!! You are extracting (distracting) me!!"

Today, we are in the process of getting things ready and packed for our trip and Noah has just asked me " Hey! Where's my suitcase?"

I replied with, " Noah, we are just taking one big suitacase and all packing together so we don't have a gazillion bags to keep up with."

*eye roll*

" ' A gazillion', Mommy? Don't you think you are exaggerating a bit?"

Dietary Laws

A little background.

Since last year on Hanukkah, my son has observed Jewish holidays. Since we live so far from family, we have a surrogate family that we spend Christmas Eve with every year. We go to their house, eat, sit by the fire, eat some more, make fun of various family members, eat more, decide the children are barely hanging in there and pack them up and head home with bags of leftover food and cookies in tow.

Last night, there were Italian meatballs and a ham along with loads of hors d'oeuvres and desserts. Noah was eating macaroni and cheese and our host asked him if he was sure he didn't want some ham.

NOAH: I don't like ham.

HOST: Have you ever tried ham?

NOAH: No.

HOST: Would you like to try some? You might like it.

NOAH: Ewwwwww. Do you know that is made from a muddy pig?!

All eyes in the room turned to me.

I shrugged my shoulders and replied (with mouth full of ham) "He's kosher."

Going Home

I just wanted to quickly say- in case there is anyone out there that reads this that isn't related to me or doesn't know me personally ( which I sincerely doubt)- as if my posting isn't sporadic enough, it's going to be really spotty if not completely non-existent these next few weeks.

My mom called me last night to inform me that my grandfather passed away during the evening. I am still waiting on information as to when the funeral will be, but whenever it is, I will be going home for it. I don't even know yet if I will be going alone or if my family will be going with me, but in any event, it looks like I will be doing some travelling.

Have a happy Christmas and safe and happy new year. I'll see y'all when I see y'all.

Christmas Crafts

I'm sure it comes as no surprise to you all that my kids didn't cooperate for the Christmas card photo shoot. I think I made the best of what I had. Here is my Christmas card this year:

front:

back:

For Noah's teacher and bus driver, I made gift boxes and a set of all-occasion cards to go in the gift boxes. I am really proud of myself this year. I did not have to buy one single thing to make the gifts... I used everything already in my stash of supplies!

gift box for bus driver:

gift box for Noah's teacher:

the cards:

Halloween- Basic Grey paper(Eerie) and Paper Dolls Cricut cartridge for spider and web

Summer: Die Cuts With a View paper and Life's a Beach Cricut cartridge for flip flops

Baby Card- Making Memories (Animal Crackers-Ella) paper and New Arrival Cricut cartridge for rattle

Winter- Basic Grey ( Eskimo Kisses) paper and Accent Essentials Cricut cartridge for snow flake

Valentine's Day- Basic Grey ( Bittersweet) paper, Fiskars border punch and Studio G-bird and "Happy Valentine's Day" stamp

Spring- K& Company paper, scallop punch and spring stamps by Studio G

Basic Grey ( Mellow) paper, leaf punches

Christmas- Basic Grey ( Figgy Pudding) paper and stickers, Cuttlebug for embossing snowflakes

same supplies as above

birthday- Basic Grey ( Lemonade), Martha Stewart border punch, Cricut Accent Essentials cartridge for flowers and Doodlecharms cartridge for ladybugs

Zen and the Art of the Female Psyche

As I was browsing through a friend's photo album, I was making note of all the fabulously-dressed fashionable people in her photos ( including her). I became somewhat jealous and was taken back to a time when I, too, was pretty trendy and well-dressed. Circa 2002 B.C.

Before Children.

Now, I'm not saying this happens to all moms, because I also have some very well-dressed, put-together mom friends. I envy them. The truth is, while it would be melodramatic to say that having children has caused me to lose the will to live, I CAN say that I have lost my will to accessorize.

Most of my days are spent in the company of my two-year-old. This is someone that would be perfectly happy to go out dressed in her Dora pajamas and would also wear said pajamas every day for months straight if I didn't put my foot down and insist that they go in the wash. She is the same person that loves to wear a tutu over jeans with one sandal, one snow boot, a tiara and magic wand. In short, she looks like the lady that hangs out under the bridge with a shopping cart talking to herself. Unfortunately, so do I.

Which brings me to my revelation. Occasionally ( "only in leap years" is occasionally right?) I dress up. When I do, I actually feel good. Common sense says I should then do this more often and it would lift my spirits. So, why then, do I own more pairs of yoga pants than I care to admit? And why do I resort to a pair of those yoga pants and a t-shirt ( long or short-sleeved depending on the season) every day? Because it is easy and I am lazy. I am usually dragging when I get out of bed in the morning. I have to hit the ground running while shuffling kids, lunchbox, homework, library books and the demands of a two-year-old, which is like meeting the demands of a terrorist. It is easy to hit the snooze button and catch a few more minutes of sleep ( sixteen to be exact, I hit the snooze button exactly twice every morning) and get up, throw on the yoga pants, t-shirt, brush my teeth and put my hair in a pony tail. Done.. in less than three minutes. Besides, who is going to see me anyway?

Well, it's the season where packages arrive at my door almost daily and I am starting to sense that the UPS man is scared of me. He throws the package at my front door, knocks and runs. I open my door to find a package lying in my flower bed and the sound of the truck speeding off. So much for "What can brown do for you?" Brown can make you feel like a troll, that's what! But that's fine, because perhaps brown has done quite a bit for me after all. Because I need to do something about this. I don't want to be THAT mom. I don't want to LOOK like a mom! Now, I'm not getting all radical and quitting the yoga pants cold turkey. No, I could never do that! **shudder** But, I CAN try a little bit more every day to make myself feel better.

Maybe tomorrow, I'll only hit the snooze button once. Perhaps I can use that extra time to use my straightening iron to smooth my rat's nest of hair rather than just resort to the pony tail. Maybe I'll even put on my LOFT jeans, which I love and have hanging on display in my closet like the Mona Lisa because I never wear them. You might even see me with a scarf- if that travelling band of gypsies I summoned a few weeks ago would ever show up and trade me one for Zoe.

Yes, maybe tomorrow I will turn over a new leaf. I've already made a small effort this morning. I'm actually typing this in my LOFT jeans ( and University of Texas t-shirt and pony tail)!

Baby steps.

Happy Hanukkah!

If you don't already know about my son's wish to be Jewish, you can read about it here. When he was in preschool, they made a tiny little menorah out of styrofoam and q-tips. He packs it away each year in the box with holiday decorations and pulls it out every year when we decorate for Christmas and sets it tenderly on the window sill.

Personally, I think it's great! I love that he is interested in learning about other cultures, religions and traditions. After the incident last Hanukkah, I didn't know if he would let it go, since his wish to be Jewish seemed to be based solely on his desire for eight nights of presents as opposed to one day. He didn't. They were out of school on Yom Kippur this year and he told me that morning that he knew it was a Jewish holiday, but he didn't know what it was all about and wanted me to explain. I explained to him all about it and he listened intently- honestly curious to learn. I had him up until the point where I told him about the fasting and his eyes got huge and he said, " Well, if *I* were Jewish, I would NOT do that part!" I laughed and told him yes he would, because that was a very important part of the observance and it would be important to him if he were Jewish.

So, this year, he unpacked his menorah, placed it on the window sill and hasn't said a word since. I already knew that Hanukkah begins tonight, but didn't know if Noah was aware. I should learn not to underestimate Noah. This morning he informed me it was the first day of Hanukkah. I explained that actually it begins at sunset tonight, but for the most part, he was correct. He understands this year that he isn't getting presents, but he simply wanted to be mindful of the Jewish celebration and the people celebrating it.

I can only hope that my children grow up to be aware, educated and open-minded people that will in turn teach their children about different faiths and cultures thus causing them to teach their children and so forth. And maybe one day, we can all get along and realize that we are all so different, yet all the very same. We are, after all- Jews, Muslims and Christians- all descendants of Abraham- brothers and sisters.

I hope you all find love, peace and happiness in your celebration my brothers and sisters.

I Got OWNED by a Six-Year-Old OR Dear God, Why Didn't You Include Instructions on How to Parent This Child?

I've always believed in letting children make mistakes and then using those mistakes as learning experiences. I had no idea, though, that at least one of my children would turn out smarter than yours truly.

Last week, Noah came home from school and informed me that his homework for the evening was to use each of his spelling words in a sentence. But, when he went digging through his backpack, he realized he had left his homework journal- with the spelling word list in it- in his locker at school. Now, I happened to know that his teacher keeps a web page with updated homework and spelling lists for the parents. Noah did not know this information, though. I pulled up the list and told Noah that this one time I would let him look at the list online, but if he forgot his journal again, he would simply have to go to school without his homework and explain to his teacher why he was missing his assignment. Aside from getting marks against him for not turning in his homework, he would also be deprived of the sticker they receive daily for turning it in and possibly chocolate which they receive when the entire class manages to turn in their homework.

Today, Noah walked in the door and informed me he had new spelling words and had to write them three times each for homework. He proceeded to get his folder out of his backpack and then realized that he had forgotten his journal.

I put on my Bill Cosby hat, because THIS was a teaching moment!

"Noah, do you remember what I told you last week? Since you didn't bring home your journal and spelling list, you will just have to explain to Miss Gray tomorrow why you aren't turning in your homework."

Completely unaffected by my decree, he sat down at the kitchen table, got out a piece of paper and said, " That's ok. I know what the spelling words are, anyway."

I couldn't argue with that, but I was pretty certain there was no way he would remember all ten words, especially since he spent all day today on a field trip and literally just got back to school in time to write his words, homework assignment and pack his backpack to go home.

About thirty minutes later, he produced his work to me. All the words were spelled correctly. After he left the room, I quickly got on the internet to pull up the spelling list for the week. He had them out of order, but he had them. Spelled correctly.

So much for learning a lesson.

Unless of course, we are discussing me. I learned a lesson... that I am NOT smarter than a first grader!