The Appetite of a Two-Year-Old and the Memory of a Six-Year-Old

For the past month or so, Zoe has continuously hung on my leg and hollered, "EEEAAAAATTT!" over and over (and over) again. Even if she has just finished eating a meal, she will follow me around, hang on my leg and screech that awful word. It sends chills up my spine, I'm so tired of hearing it.

While Zoe can't forget about eating, Noah seems to have trouble remembering.... anything. Or at least anything that does not interest him. I can ask him forty times in one day to clean his room and he will go to his room, close the door and I will hear shuffling around. An hour later, I go to check on his progress and he is sitting in the middle of the same mess, playing. He assures me he was going to clean up, but FORGOT... and then starts to clean up. When I check on him later, nothing has been picked up and lo and behold, he's "forgotten" again. I've diagnosed him with selective amnesia.

As a result of Noah's selective amnesia and various other infractions over the past few weeks, he has lost all of his Star Wars toys. I packed them all up and put them in the attic. Last Friday, Noah asked if he could have just one Clone Trooper back. I told him if he helped his daddy and I out around the house over the weekend and was a good boy, we would talk about it on Monday.

Meanwhile, Zoe's affliction extends to all facets of her routine. Early this morning, at approximately five am, I was sleeping quite soundly (and happily) when a blood curdling scream awakened me. Lying in bed, trying to figure out what it was that awakened me and had adrenaline flowing through my body and my heart pounding, I then heard the following: " EEEAAAAAATTTTTT!". Then.... silence. She was apparently dreaming of following me around demanding something to eat.

After that episode, it took me awhile to calm my heart rate and get back to sleep. I finally fell back asleep after DJ got up for work- which was about 6:30. At 7:05 am I was sleeping happily again when I felt the tiniest little "tap" on my forehead. I opened my eyes to see Noah standing practically nose to nose with me ( there goes the sudden rush of adrenaline again). "CAN I HELP YOU?" I snorted.

"Ummm... remember last week when you said that maybe if I was a good boy and helped you out around the house, that I could maybe possibly have my Clone Trooper out of the attic? Can I have my Clone Trooper out of the attic?"

My brain cannot process this complex of a run-on sentence so soon after awakening OR on such little sleep. I know I glared at him and I think I managed to mumble something about discussing it later.

As he shuffled down the hall, he exclaimed, "MAN!!" while located exactly in front of his sister's door. About four seconds later, I heard Zoe at full volume:

"BUBBA! MOMMY! EEEEEAAAAAAAATTTTTTT!"

Checkups

Both kids had their annual checkups yesterday. (Zoe's 2-year old and Noah's 6-year-old). Everyone is in good health. Zoe is 32.5 inches tall and weighs 21.8 pounds. Noah is 43.75 inches tall and weighs 36 pounds. The pictures were taken with the point-and-shoot I keep in my diaper bag... that coupled with the awesome fluorescent lighting in the exam room gave them their stellar-quality. ( In case you couldn't detect it, that was dripping with sarcasm).

"Ahhhh.. Mommy.. I'm NAKED.. let me cover my boobies!"

"Bubba, you give that pony back or I'll punch you!"

Ladies and Gentelmen, I give you Hear No Evil and See No Evil.

**tongue click** " I see you!"

Flashback Friday

This one is from last February. Sorry I haven't posted this week.. it's been a busy week with appointments to get Noah ready for school... and Zoe ready to well... just wreak more havoc.

The "Eyes" Have It!!

Noah came home from school a few weeks ago and the first words he said to me when he walked through the door were, " Mommy! We had a substitute today!" Those words are usually followed by complaints of how horrible his day went because it wasn't as he anticipated. He is a creature of habit and does not deal well with change. He is his mother's son.

On this particular day, I noticed a bit of a chirpiness to his proclamation, though. Before I could inquire about what atrocities were committed at the hands of this inferior human being that was not his teacher, he breathlessly continued: " She was beeeeautiful!!!"

My ears perked up. Noah never uses phrases like this to describe someone and, frankly, I didn't think he noticed the physical qualities of anyone except, of course, the M&M people and Star Wars characters. Still not letting me get in a word, the rest of the conversation went like this:

NOAH: She was wearing a very pretty shirt; AND she had brown hair and BLUE eyes! I've never seen blue eyes in REAL LIFE before!!

ME: ( summoning the long-lost theater nerd in me and feigning complete and utter outrage and insult) HEY! *I* have blue eyes!!!!

NOAH: WHAT!!??? ( then walks right up to me, gets nose-to-nose with me and looks at my eyes and says..) HUH! I thought this whole family had BROWN eyes! ( and walked away)

I guess I was right... he doesn't notice physical characteristics of anyone but M&M people, Star Wars characters and one Miss Nicole of Fort Dix Elementary. All those hours I spent staring blissfully into the eyes of my son.. bonding.... or so I thought. Now I find out, he was paying no attention and probably just wondering when the goofy brown-eyed lady was going to give him his next meal.

Flashback Friday

Bringing back older posts for enjoyment a second time around ( or first if you are new to reading my blogs)

This one is originally from March 2008 when Noah was in preschool. If you know me well, you know that I rarely ever get normal photos of my children. They are always making goofy faces.. they don't like to smile prettily for the camera. Well, it's been going on for awhile as evidenced by this blog:


Zsa Zsa Gabor ( "Please, no pictures!")


It has been impossible lately to get a good photo of Noah. When I took the two kids to get their pictures taken, the whole session was a disaster. So, when notices came home that the school was taking spring photos, I was optimistic that maybe, without me there, the photographer could get a good shot of Noah. The pictures came home today... now I wasn’t there, so I can’t speak for them, but I would guess it didn't go well.

Circus Get-up

I thought Zoe needed a birthday outfit to match her theme. I'm neurotic like that.

I scanned the adorable clown from her banner and then used my handy dandy Photoshop CS4 to make a little birthday picture and sentiment and then printed it out on iron-on transfer paper.

Voila' ! Mad skillz, I'm telling you, mad skillz. Bwahahaaaaa!

I also made a matching tutu. I am pleased with how cute it turned out.

Unfortunately, I can't get her to wear it! She loved the clown when I first printed him out for her banner, but Grandma is here visiting and brought this: ( Little Mermaid nightgown- she LOVES the Little Mermaid, or "Meme")

I cannot pry it off of her. She won't even get dressed during the day. Yes, that little glimmer under her right eye is a tear.. because I- GASP- tried to take the gown off of her!

The gown is going to disappear tonight and not reappear until AFTER her birthday party.

Uh-huh.. THAT'S going to work.

But It's Only One O'clock......

This is my life in pictures.

Here is how today has gone so far:

Noah was in the bathroom doing his business when he yelled at me that Zoe had taken the little insert out of her potty and thrown it in the big toilet WHILE he was peeing, then got it out with pee in it and dumped it all over the floor.( I figured I would spare you and not take a photo of this) I cleaned the little potty, the toilet and mopped the bathroom floor up. As I was walking from the bathroom into the laundry room to put the washcloth I used and the bathroom rug in the washer I encountered this in the kitchen:



I had previously folded laundry and left it in the basket and Zoe had gone through the basket and picked out my underwear and put them on! There was a nice mess in the living room from the laundry basket too. I finished putting the rug and a load of towels in the washer and went into the living room to re-fold the clothes and put them back in the laundry basket. I did wonder what that was on her face, but she's a messy kid so I brushed it aside.






Meanwhile, Noah yelled at me from his room that Zoe was up on his bed and wouldn't get down. Noah has a loft bed and I am afraid Zoe will fall off it, so I went in his room to get her down. As I picked her up, I felt something like rocks in her diaper. I had no clue what it was, so I decided to inspect and found this:

That is leftover Easter candy that I had put up in a drawer in my room. This meant Zoe had been in my room and I suspected she had eaten some of the candy explaining what was on her mouth earlier ( chocolate). I guess she decided to stash a few pieces in case I took it away from her.

So.. I decided I need to go inspect my room and found this:

Notice the partial wrapper off to the side. That would be because my little billy goat was eating them with the wrappers ON them..... I also found this in my bed:

I had to change my sheets on my bed because there were drooly chocolate stains all over them. As I was heading to the laundry room again, I found this lying in the hallway:

That would be a catalog that she had torn and EATEN the edge off of. I picked it up and went to put it back in the magazine rack and now we'd gone full circle because I found Zoe in the laundry again



And when the last picture was taken, it was only one o'clock.

**NOTE: It took me awhile to post this because I was playing referee between Zoe and Noah. As I was completing the upload of pictures, I realized it had been really quiet and got nervous. I went to find Zoe to see what she was into this time. I couldn't find her anywhere in the house. I started getting nervous and then I walked into her room ( the one place she doesn't go because she is ALLOWED in there!) to find this:

She climbed in her crib by herself and went to sleep. I guess she had a busy morning and needed to recharge her batteries to wreak havoc this afternoon. (and note the tiny bit of hot pink you can see around her left leg... that's my underwear again)

Birthday Projects

I've been busy working on things for Zoe's birthday party. I initially wanted a girly theme, but since most of the guests will be boys, I decided on a gender-neutral Circus theme. I used CS3 to make the invitation:



I attached the invitations to boxes of animal crackers for delivery:

This is going to be the centerpiece. I needed something sturdy enough to hold the big swirlie lollipop, so I took a square glass vase I have and made a red cardstock sleeve to slip over it. I then cut stripes for the cardstock to give it a popcorn box look and used my Cricut to cut the "pow" shape and letters for "popcorn"

I wrapped boxes in colorful wrapping paper for the cotton candy and then used the Cricut again for the cute little sign.

These popcorn bags are what I used for the gift bags. They include small swirlie lollipops, tattoos, foam clown noses, play doh and blowouts.

The candy came from the Christmas Cheer cartridge.

Flashback Friday

My blogging friend Jennifer, who also went to high school with me, does this thing on Fridays called Flashback Fridays. The idea is to bring back one of your previous posts for those that may have missed it before to get a chance to read it. I realized it is technically Saturday already, but I'm still up, so it's Friday to me!!

This post was originally written in January 2007 when I was pregnant with Zoe. For those of you that don't understand the irrationality and intense cravings of a pregnant woman, perhaps this can shed some light. For those of you that DO understand it, just enjoy!

A Torrid Affair

I'm having a torrid affair with guacamole! I really forgot how intense a pregnant woman's cravings could be until guacamole entered my thoughts. Here's how it happened:
I was on the phone with a friend who mentioned she was making a seven-layer dip and needed some avocados for the guacamole layer. The seed was planted. "Guacamole? I could eat some guacamole!" Now, the Northeast is not an area known for its fine Mexican cuisine, so I knew just picking some up somewhere was out of the question, and I am not sure I could make some as spicy as I would like, so I tried to put it out of my mind. For the next few days, guacamole dominated my thoughts like an absent lover. I became a woman obsessed! Finally, I could stand it no longer and I gave in.

I went to the local grocery store and was surprised to find very ripe avocados perfect for making guacamole. Then, I found one of those seasoning packets and my heart soared- until I turned it over and saw it was manufactured in MASSACHUSSETTS!! WHAT???? I put the avocados back and was wandering aimlessly on the verge of a breakdown when- a single ray of sun beamed through the glass window of the Acme into the produce section- illuminating, in all it's glory, a single vacuum-sealed package of ready-prepared guacamole!!! With trembling hands and a hopeful heart, I picked up the package and flipped it over. Stamped on the back, were the most beautiful words I have ever read, " Product of Mexico" and just underneath- " Packaged in Keller, TX" !! With tears in my eyes, I gingerly stroked my package of guacamole and then practically skipped to the chip aisle where I picked up a bag of tortilla chips. I had guacamole for lunch, dinner, snack..... in fact, I am writing this in a guacamole-induced stupor!

Now, if I could just get my hands on some really good enchiladas!!

TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR- " How far will Jennifer go for a Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper?"

Duck Amuck

Ooooohhhh I LOVE my ducky that my daddy won for me at the carnival!!



Sweeeet Ducky!!

WHAT!?? WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME, YOU WEB-FOOTED GALOOT! AM I THE ONLY ONE NOW CRAVING ARROZ CON POLLO???

**sobs** That ducky was mean to me!!!

Well, it was nice knowin' ya Mr. l'Orange. **stomps on him**

DISCLAIMER: I know, I should seek help. I just love captioning the interesting strings of photos I get of my kids.

DISCLAIMER#2: yes, I KNOW "pollo" is chicken... I couldn't find the word for duck.... I figured she's two.. it's ok if she makes a spanish mistake ;-)

DISCLAIMER#3: Okay!Okay! "pato".... but "arroz con pato" doesn't sound as good.

Mister Sensitivity

I hate the scale... but I got it out because I wanted to know how much Noah weighs. (36 pounds, by the way) Of course I couldn't resist the urge to step on it myself. My mistake was doing that while Noah was standing there. The number popped up and:

"WOW! Nooo.. you're not THAT FAT!!"

" Well, son, apparently this scale begs to differ with you."

[pats my stomach]

"You got another baby in there??"

**sigh**

[sobbing in background]

Never Judge a Book by its Cover

Doesn't it look like I have the cutest, sweetest kids??

awwww...

Let's take a closer look, shall we?: (click on the picture to see the detail)

This is following our trip to the post office. I have been putting this trip off for a week and simply had to get it done. I decided today was the day and put on my battlegear and left the house with these two maniacs. While assembling and filling out information on flat-rate boxes, Zoe began pushing Noah.

"Stop it!", I bellowed in my best I'm-the-one-in-charge-here-no-really-I-am voice. Then I heard the unmistakable sound of flesh on floor. I looked up to see them both wrestling in the middle of the post office floor.

Now I totally get those "Calgon, take me away!" commercials. I was also hoping to hear the Southwest Airlines' "[Ding] Need to get away?" but the only bells and whistles I heard were going on inside my head.

Now everybody sing with me... "They're coming to take me away- ha-ha. They're coming to take me away...."

Sick Day

Noah woke up sick this morning. He threw up for a few hours and even though he claimed to feel better, I made him take the whole day easy on the couch. I have just discovered what happens when Noah is left to his own devices couch-ridden and armed with only a remote.

I pulled up our DVR list to erase Army Wives since I watched it live tonight and discovered such newly-recorded gems as: Star Wars- The Clone Wars, Wow Wow Wubzy, two episodes of Spongebob Squarepants and-now this is TOTALLY my fault- House Hunters.

I didn't even know he knew how to record shows. I should never underestimate Noah. One day I'll learn.

Banner for Zoe's Birthday Party

I made the banner for Zoe's birthday party last night. The blue and yellow polka dot papers are K & Company, the balloon paper is Basic Grey, Cupcake and the rainbow polka dot paper is by My Minds Eye- Whiteout Collection. I used my Cricut Storybook cartridge to cut the letters and Paperdolls cartridge for the clown.

Convention Projects

I am finally finishing up the projects from CKC convention last weekend. I have one layout that I need to print out pictures for ( my printer is out of ink!!) but the rest are done.

The first class was Set for a Year- Creative Cardmaking. We made six cards and a gift box in class and had the instructions and materials to complete six more outside of class. ( as always, click on individual pictures to enlarge)

The next class was 1 Stamp, 10 Techniques. We made a card and two layouts, but as I mentioned above, I need to print pictures and finish up the second layout.

The last class was Canon Summer Fun. It was sponsored by Canon because they were promoting their photo printer. Most of the embellishments on this page are printed on paper and cut out using the Canon website, Canon Creative Park which has cute scrapbook kits you can print out for free. I love free.

Priorities, Priorities

Tonight Noah and I were watching House Hunters on HGTV ( because I am a total nerd and mostly keep the television on HGTV and The Weather Channel). He said, "Mommy, I wish I had the master bedroom."

Shocked by this proclamation and the realization that he even knew what a master bedroom was, I responded, " Well, when you grow up and can buy your own house, YOU can have the master bedroom."

"Like when I grow up and get married?"

"Yes, like when you grow up and get married."

"Except, I don't think I'll get married."

"Well, that's okay if you don't want to, but why do you say that?"

"Because, I don't want a girlfriend, I want a build your own light sabre. I think I would like that best."

Fido

"Oh look! " you might say, " it appears you have a new puppy in your house. What is his/her name?"

Evil, thy name is Zoe.



She struck again.. she ate the tag off a beanie baby toy from a McDonald's Happy Meal. I don't think I've gotten my point across yet.. so I'll post the following picture for the THIRD time!