A Crazy Tangent ( Line)

I am blocked. So I googled, "writing prompts" and picked a website and clicked on prompt #175 which instructed me to " Write about the contents of an accountant's garbage bin."

This is hilarious because my friend Jennifer is an accountant. And she's a writer. And a blogger. And, no, I am not one of those weirdos that refers to myself in the third person and am secretly talking about myself here, because I am most certainly NOT an accountant. I am terrible with numbers. At one point in my life ( just last week) I thought I was good at math, but then I started taking a stupid math class and I have downgraded myself to a half step above drooling in my Cheerios. The dawn of reality is eye-opening. I've fooled myself into believing I was an intelligent being and I am really a blooming idiot. In fact, I am so bad at math, I have discovered, that I bet I could qualify for some form of disability. Or maybe one of those handicap placards that would get me a good parking spot at the mall. Because I am bad with numbers, so I cannot be relied upon to remember the reference number posted on the street light nearest my van.

So.... the contents of an accountant's garbage bin? Well, I have to admit the first thing that popped in my mind was, " hopefully the key to unlock the great mystery that is logarithms". Seriously, those things are giving me fits.

And.. back to Jennifer ( see how great I am at steering the subject back to ME?) and her garbage can. Well, it's tax season... an accountant's favorite time of year... and she did post a week or so ago about how she is tired of everyone asking when their W-2 would be ready. I imagine that if said employees did not heed her warning, someone's W-2 may have been accidentally tossed into the garbage. Maybe some targets with various people's faces on them? Random people/ other moms/annoying employees/coworkers that she randomly tapes to the wall and tosses darts or other sharp objects at. I imagine a couple of Diet Coke cans.

If I look really closely, I think I can see the crumpled application I filled out trying to be in the "Superstar Math Whiz" club. Jen cosine-d (get it?) the rejection letter and told me I should just pull the TRIG-ger, calculate my shortcomings, board the crazy x-y plane, grab a tambourine and let the (loga)rithm of the night overtake me. In other words, I am exponentially lacking and I shouldn't let my lofty ideals of myself FOIL my chances at a normal, albeit number-free life. In reality, I should truncate my plans now and just go have some pi.

I know... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

I didn't mean to be so obtuse.