Half a Year

That is how long we have been here.  Well, almost.  We will have officially been here for six months on Wednesday.  I cannot believe it has been six months already and yet, in the same breath, it seems like a lifetime has passed since we boarded that plane in Philadelphia leaving the last 12 years of our lives, our house, our friends, and the only home my kids have ever known behind.

I was excited to move to England.  We loved it the last time we were here.  I know I sound like a parrot here- because I keep saying, " I know we will love it again." That is me trying to be positive.  I keep saying that over and over like some sort of mantra but it doesn't seem to be sticking.  We are having a harder time here than we did last time.

Of course, I didn't expect it to be exactly like last time.  I can't recreate that experience.  I know that.  I mean, I arrived here after my husband had already lived here for two years.  He already had a house and a British car and had set up all the important things like television service, tv tax, road tax, electricity, etc.  He knew his way around, was familiar with his job and had some friends.  That meant that we had people to hang out with when I got here.  Our neighbors were very friendly and Andrea would just pop by all the time and ask me along on errands or nights out, so I learned, from a Brit, my way around and how things worked.  Since they were just next door, I could just pop over and visit whenever I had a moment or was bored  ( and I spend a lot of time over there).  Four months after arriving here, I started working on base (although it was not the most desirable job) and made some American friends too.  I settled in, had friends, went out and enjoyed life in England.

This time around, I have two children to worry about.  I have done my best to put on my happy face and try and show the children how fun England is and help them cope with the move.  But, the reality is, I am lonely.  I am miserable.  Other than a quick, "Hiya", in passing, our neighbors don't talk to us.  I don't even know most of their names.  A few have introduced themselves in passing, but that is all.  I have to come to terms with the fact that I am terrible at making friends!  I kept excusing myself saying, "Well, I'm still new here.", but I've seen people get here in the last few months and already have friends and going places with them.  So, it is me.  I miss having a friend to just drop by and have tea/coffee/cake/cookies and chat.  I miss having a friend to invite me over to do the same.  I miss having  someone to go shopping with, another family for my family to hang out with.  And the thing is- so do my kids.

Many a night, Noah has come down the stairs after bedtime crying and saying he wants to go back to New Jersey. He had friends there.  He went to play at his buddy's house, had friends over to our house and was comfortable there.  Not one person has invited him to play since we have been here.  Within the first month of school, he had identified two boys in particular that he plays with.  I sent notes in to school to go home with them giving their parents our phone number if they were interested in letting the boys get together.  Neither of them contacted me.

Zoe is having a hard time too, but being only five, she doesn't know how to express it.  She's having serious behavior problems, exhibiting alarming (to me) behavior when she is her most upset.  She cries because she hates her room and hates our house.  She doesn't want to go to school- she just wants to stay home with me. She appears to be needing extra attention, but it is to the point of being ridiculous.  She doesn't like for Noah to receive ANY attention. If we tell Noah "thank you" or "good job" on something, she is immediately asking, "What about me?  Didn't I do a good job?"  and the situation won't even be relevant to her.  We do praise her plenty and thank her, but it never seems to be enough.   We only have the weekend to all spend time together and I like to do things all together, but I have decided that perhaps we need to start splitting up and DJ taking one kid while I take the other and we have solo time with them.  Of course the problem with that is that I don't get to spend time with DJ.

Both of the kids are in need of playmates and friends.  They are not playing well together and just push each other's buttons, causing a fight and causing me to get angry with them.

DJ is grumpy.  He's not feeling fulfilled in his job.  He doesn't feel like he is accomplishing anything which makes him miserable. This bad mood carries over into other things in that when the little things go wrong, he feels overwhelmed (this weekend alone, our tv, that is only 3 years old has started going out and two space heaters- one that is just a few weeks old and one that is about a month old- have decided to intermittently quit working).  The brakes on the Beetle seem a little flaky too and need to be looked at as well as the fact we never figured out what was wrong with the Zafira after it left me stranded on the side of the road.

So, while I keep telling myself "It will get better. We will love it here again.", I am starting to not believe it.  Before, I was confident we would be fine and we would settle in, but now I am not so sure.

I told the kids this morning that they cannot keep comparing England to New Jersey.  They need to accept this as a new experience and enjoy the thing they can do here that they can't do in America.  I reminded them that if they continue to hang on to New Jersey, it will be a very long and miserable three years here.  I need to listen to my own advice.  I thought I had.  I came here excited to be here, with an open mind, ready for adventure.  I was ready to show my kids why we loved it here so much.

And yet, six months later- here I sit- with a silent phone and a dusty front door mat, unable to capture the magic I left behind twelve years ago.  Here's to the next six months!  May they go nowhere but up and may they be filled with love, laughter and acceptance.

Honoring All Who Serve

Even if you are not affiliated with the military, chances are you know about Veteran's Day in November where we honor those that serve and have served. And you probably are also familiar with Memorial Day in May where we remember those that gave all for their country. But did you know that we also remember to celebrate our smallest of heroes?





April is Month of the Military Child and there are various activities around base for the kids. The whole thing wraps up the last Friday of the month at the elementary school with a celebration. This is by far my favorite activity to attend at the school every year. It is always cute, sweet, fun and emotional.

The celebration starts with a static display of various military vehicles. The kids get to climb on and in the "cool stuff" like an MWRAP. They love this part!





Then everyone is ushered inside for the assembly and treats. The fourth grade class always writes poems titled " I am a military child" and every year, the results are amazing! A few of the students are selected to read them to the school and I am always slightly misty-eyed as these young heroes, wise and strong stand there and talk about multiple deployments, missed birthdays and praying their father/mother will be safe but always end with each stanza with "I am a military child."

Afterward, the four-year-olds take the stage and sing along with a Lee Greenwood recording of "God Bless the U.S.A." It was adorable and touching.

Since the focus is honoring and saluting the children, at that point, they have military volunteers in uniform serve the children ice cream while they watch a slide show of various photos of themselves throughout the year set to patriotic music. Included were Battle Hymn of the Republic, You're a Grand Old Flag and a medley of all the armed forces songs. It really is a great experience as our base is a joint base and houses families and units from all branches of the armed services- Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines and Coast Guard.

I salute you, young heroes scattered all over the country and the world.

I also salute my two favorite little heroes who are currently helping to hold down the fort in their father's absence:

I love you guys.

I am linking this post with Jennifer at Momma Made it Look Easy- she asks that you "share your awesome" and link your favorite post from the week. Since this is my ONLY post, I suppose it is my favorite. Oh yeah.. it has my kids in it too.. so it has to be a favorite!

I'm Going Through the Big "D" and Don't Mean Dallas

I don't mean divorce either, I mean DEPLOYMENT. That's a big enough D, dontcha think?

Okay- so I haven't updated you in awhile. I was all gung-ho and let's make this deployment fun and then we all got sick, and then got better and then got sick again and the wind is out of my sails and well, I'm lazy.

Unfortunately, I have also been lazy about taking pictures of what we have not been doing. I am sure you would love to see a photo of us all lying near-comatose on couches staring, napping and drooling, but alas, I did not capture that- as exciting as it was.

Okay, first we will start off with Valentine's Day. I did what I do best (ahem, copy other people's ideas off the internet) and copied THIS idea because it was adorable and so, so easy! And, incidentally, that blog in general is full of great ideas.




On Valentine's Day, we had pancakes for dinner. The kids were delighted that I added food coloring and we had pink pancakes. Okay- Zoe was delighted, Noah was perturbed, but I assured him they tasted the same and no one had to know he ate pink pancakes. At least, that is, until now when I decided to tell the whole world about it.



I also got a few photos (albeit terrible ones with my point-and-shoot that completely up and died after this) of Zoe's Tumble Tots class. She insists on wearing the tutu every week. I don't know. I just don't argue.







I only half-heartedly decorated for Saint Patrick's Day. I just downloaded and printed a fabulous print from the same blog where I got my Valentine card idea. and added some green M&M's to a candy jar. Nothing spectacular. I can't wait to decorate for spring.




Speaking of spring...look-y what greeted me this morning in my flower bed:




Weeeeeeeee! It's a promising start!

And lastly, I have a small rant. They told us when Zoe started preschool not to dress them in nice dresses and such, because they play and are going to get dirty. They paint, color, stamp, cook and do everything that makes a mess and I get that. For that reason, when one of Zoe's nice Gymboree shirts comes home with a stain, I don't get angry. The stain is usually around the sleeve from ink or paint, and usually with a little diligence will come out. I expect these things. HOWEVER... I am not sending my child to school in dirty, old stained clothing. I'm just not that person. I want her to look nice. But, honestly, if she keeps coming home like she did the other day, I don't know what to do. I can't afford to keep buying her new clothes. There was no way I could get this out ( I am not even sure what it is) and there is absolutely no chance she will wear this out of the house again. (and sadly, that was one of my favorite shirts) But, seriously, WHAT where they doing? I mean.... COME ON?




Happy Not-Quite-Spring-But-I-Am-Going-To-Pretend-It-Already-Is-For-My-Own-Sanity-Now-Please-Don't-Burst-My-Bubble ! (Do you think that would fit on a Hallmark card?)

I am linking this up with Wordful Wednesday over at parenting BY dummies. (and incidentally- Amanda from parenting BY dummies is more than just a bloggy celebrity now, she is a full-on celebrity as she was featured on TLC's What Not to Wear last night! You can head over to her blog right now where she posts the behind-the-scenes photos and tells you all about it!)

Deployment- Days 5-8

I haven't been blogging about these days because none of them were full enough to warrant an entire blog post. And then the snow happened. It wasn't as bad as initially predicted, but my back still hurts from shoveling it.

Day five was Sunday- it was a pretty laid back day. Zoe has started to question when DJ is coming home and no matter how I try to explain it to her, she just isn't understanding that he isn't just right down the road and can't just come home. She knows he went on an airplane-but we live near an air force base and she sees them every day. Every time one is taking off or landing, she thinks her daddy is on it. In an effort to try and get her to understand, we got out the globe and I showed here where we lived. Then I showed her where Texas was and she knows that is where all the grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins live. Then, we spun it around and showed her where her daddy was. She was excited to look, but I am still not sure she really understood.



Day six- Monday- while the kids were in school, I attempted to make the house a little festive for Valentine's Day. I made the "Love" sign with scraps from my scrapbook stash and die-cut letters from my Cricut.



Monday evening, Noah started his indoor soccer practices. The practice was from 7-8 which seemed really late and we were all exhausted by the time we got home and got everyone to bed. I'm sorry for the poor quality of photo- all I had with me was my cell phone and, of course, they were moving and a distance from where we were sitting. That's Noah kicking on the goal.


On Tuesday, day seven, Zoe awoke sneezing, snotty and with that awful croup-y barking cough. I kept her home from school and she drove me bananas all day long!! I received a package in the mail with a surprise for me. My mother had my favorite bakery back home ship some cookies to us in anticipation of my birthday coming up. Zoe and I feasted on cookies and fought over the television.

Since she clearly felt fine, I took her to her first Tumble Tots that evening (a gross motor class- kind of like the Gymboree classes). She was initially angry because she wanted me to sign her up for ballet, but when we got there, she really enjoyed it and had a ball! Again, sorry for the poor photo- I didn't take my camera because parental participation was required and I didn't think I would be able to tote the camera around while playing with her. This was taken from my cell and is blurry from all the movement.


Tuesday night at about nine, we got the automated call from the school district that there would be no school today because of the impending snow storm. The snow started around eight or nine and it snowed until three this morning. We ended up with seven inches (not nearly as bad as they had initially anticipated).

I got up this morning, dreading shoveling us out all by myself. I decided I would quickly put on my boots and coat and shovel a small path from the doorway so the dog could go to the bathroom and would shovel the rest later. When I walked out the door, half of my driveway (the tough half- the bottom where the plow truck piles all the snow) had been shoveled. The teenagers across the street shoveled for me. I was so happy and thankful! So, I shoveled the sidewalk, a place in the yard for the dog and the other half of the driveway and went inside to feed the kids breakfast. After they were fed, I got dressed and went back outside and shoveled a path through the yard to the mailbox, around the mailbox so the mail truck can get in and a path to wheel the garbage cans and recycle bins out to the road. It could have been so much worse, but my back is still hurting me this evening.

While I was shoveling a path to the mailbox, the UPS truck pulled up and honked. My dad had ordered me one of those massaging chair pads and what timing! I took it inside and plugged it in and got a massage! Woohoo!

After lunch, the kids wanted to go sledding. We got everyone stuffed into their snow clothes, I dug my way to the shed to get the sled out and we packed the car and took off. On the way there, the clouds began to move back in and by the time we got there, the wind had picked up and was really blowing. As soon as we stepped out of the car, Zoe let me know she was NOT happy!
I got a little bit angry and told the kids they wanted to sled and we drove all the way out there and we were going down that hill at least once! I drug them both out to the hill, both crying and complaining, and Noah refused to get on the sled. Zoe and I got on and she cried and screamed all the way down the hill and then refused to walk back up. Noah had followed us down on foot to continue complaining to me about how NOT FUN the entire outing was, so I said, "Fine! Let's go!" And then Noah refused to climb the hill and I had to pull them both up the hill in the sled with the wind trying to push us back down.

On the way home, I had my point-and-shoot camera and I took a couple of random pictures. This first one is the pile of snow left behind by the snow plows. If you think that is big, you should see the parking lot of our grocery store!


The second is just blowing snow as we passed an open field.


Tomorrow, one of my friends is taking me out to lunch for my birthday and then on Friday night, our adopted family- the people that have invited us to spend every Christmas eve with them for the past four of five years, is taking the kids and I out to dinner for my birthday. I really feel like a lucky girl. Sometimes, I get caught up in the loneliness of being a military spouse and how my best friends and my family are so far away. And how when I do manage to make really good friends where I am at, they always seem to move away and then I have to start all over again. I get wrapped up in feeling sorry for myself and then something like that happens to remind me that there are people all around me that care for me and I just need to remember to reach out to them.

And now, looking forward to another day down and another day closer to seeing my husband again.

Day 4- Snow, Crafts, Snarky Boy and More Snow

We woke up this morning and it was snowing.




The kids and I went out to my craft room/sun room and decided to make a paper chain with a link for every day of the deployment so we can tear one off at the end of each day and visibly see the length getting shorter. This was suggested to me by several different people and I thought it was a good idea, but was afraid that since Noah is so literal, if the deployment went beyond 120 days (and I am told most of them do), he would be really angry. So, I cut out 148 links to hopefully cover the whole thing. Now if it goes beyond 148 days, the government is going to have to deal with Noah- it is out of my hands at that point.

That's a lot of links!!

It looks a little intimidating right now, but hopefully, as it shrinks, it will be so encouraging.

Since we are already 4 days in, we removed 4 links!

YAY! 4 down!!

Then, we decided to make Valentine cards for Daddy. I will have to make mine at a later date, because I spent the entire time fulfilling requests to open sticker packets, help with marker caps, help with stamping, etc.

This was supposed to be Noah with Zoe's card in the foreground,but Zoe popped up and messed up the whole focus.

inside Zoe's card

inside Noah's card- I blocked out our last name- he's such a goofball, signing his last name on a card to his daddy!

After we made cards, the kids were hungry. I made meatballs with rice and gravy. Zoe and I eat the meatballs and Noah just eats the rice and gravy. They both helped me make the meatballs and put them in the pan and then Zoe fell asleep. At this point, Noah was sitting at the kitchen table and told me, "Taking pictures of food is lame." Umm.. excuse me... when did I become the parent of a fourteen-year-old?

Then, Noah informed me I had better hurry up and make the gravy and I told him I had to wait until the meatballs were finished. He had no idea the gravy came from the meatballs and he was fascinated. He pulled up a chair and watched me make it. I explained every step of the process to him and told him if he would learn to cook and make a good gravy and/or roux, he would be golden because girls love a guy who can cook.

He stared at me with that look he gives so well that makes me think he wants to say, "You are such an idiot." and instead came up with, "Unless she is a vegetarian."

If he's bringing home a vegetarian one day, he'd better not move back to Texas. I mean, I am on probation and at risk of losing my Texan card because I only eat beef and chicken. I don't like pork, any kind of game or seafood. That also comes dangerously close to getting me disowned by the cajun side of my family. But a full-on vegetarian? That would be blasphemy!

We survived day 4- and I shoveled and salted the driveway, sidewalk and a path to the mailbox. It wasn't too bad- I'm guessing three inches. But the meteorologists are all in gloom/doom/snowpocalypse mode over Tuesday.

We will just have to wait and see what Tuesday holds.

I'm hoping it's a margarita and seventy degrees- or two tickets to somewhere tropical. Because then Tuesday would be my best friend ever. And Tuesday and I could make each other bracelets and trade Swatch watches.

No?

Day 3- Plan B

Tonight was supposed to be a Family Movie Night at Zoe's school. The kids have been looking forward to it all week- we were supposed to bring them in their pajamas, bring dinner ( I promised McDonald's) and the movie, popcorn and drinks would be provided. Unfortunately, because of the snow this morning, when I dropped Zoe off at school there was a sign announcing it had been canceled.

Activate Plan B.

Movie and popcorn at home.

I knew it wouldn't be as exciting as going somewhere else since we do this all the time, so I picked up some little plastic popcorn containers in the dollar bin at Target. While I was there, I saw the Charlie Brown Valentine movie for just $10 and picked it up as well.



We went to McDonald's as planned, then ate popcorn and watched the movie in our pajamas. Since the movie was really short, I had also rented Ramona and Beezus from the Redbox and we all really enjoyed that one.

After the movie, I got the kids ready for bed and told them they could sleep in my bed. Unfortunately, it turned into a big fiasco and after some shuffling around, fighting, screaming, crying, going back to individual bedrooms and then back to my room several times, it finally ended up at 10:30 with Noah in his room and Zoe in my bed. Noah will sleep with me next Friday night and Zoe ended up crying herself to sleep in my room because Noah left. (I feel the need to add a disclaimer for that wall color in my bedroom. Our bedroom is the only room in our house we have not repainted since we bought it. We did not pick that awful mustard color [it was there when we moved in -and sadly, the ceiling is painted that color too!!] we have just always invested our money into the rest of the house and the kids' rooms. Painting our bedroom is at the top of our list of projects still left to finish.)



Tomorrow, we are now looking at 2"- 6" of snow. I just don't have anything to say about that.

Day 2

Today was low-key. Both kids seemed to have a good day both at home and at school. When I picked Zoe up from preschool, her teacher said she had a good day- no problems at all. Of course then she didn't want to leave and I had to beg and plead with her to hurry up and clean up her mess so we could go and be home in time for her brother's bus. I have missed it twice this year and I fear if I miss it again, I will get in trouble.

We made it home in plenty of time for Noah's bus (thankfully!) and as soon as he got off the bus, we packed up in the van- complete with Daddy Doll- and went to Sonic for dinner. My sister-in-law gave us some Sonic gift cards for Christmas- so dinner was on her! YAY!




When we got home, I pulled out a new game that was given to me by a parent from Noah's school who was clearing out some of her kids' toys. They loved it! It was a little difficult for them, so I let Noah cheat a little bit and as long as the buzzer didn't just blatantly go off, a few little buzzes were okay. I followed the rules since my dexterity is a little better and we let Zoe have it no matter how much the buzzer went off, because just using those tweezers was hard enough for a three-year-old! Everyone had a blast and, of course, Zoe won.

Leprechaun Power!

Hooray!

We are expecting snow in the morning, but very little. I am hoping not enough to delay school- Noah, of course, is hoping for a snow day. That is, until I politely reminded him that each day he gets out for snow gets tacked on to the end of the school year.