Chaos Family and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad PCS

So- we have just moved.  We are still in temporary lodging and our furniture and things have not arrived yet, so there is really not a sense of normalcy and I am hoping everything magically gets better once all of that stuff stabilizes, but so far, I believe that just about everything that could have gone wrong on this PCS, has.

Really. it all started with the late notice of assignment.  I am told that, typically when receiving an overseas assignment, people get six to eight months notice.  We got three and a half.  What that meant was we had a lot less time to do all of the things we had to do before they could cut our official orders.  We needed the orders before we could even schedule plane tickets or movers.  The time frame for getting our government passports and visas was very tight, but it managed to work out.

We finally got our orders cut the first week of July and were able to start trying to schedule things.  We found a renter for our home really early and thought that was a good sign. She signed a two year lease and seemed very enthusiastic about renting our house.  She also seemed very responsible and like she would really take care of the place while we were gone.  When she rented, we had to provide a move-in date, so we tentatively said August 1.  We requested our movers come around July 20, but the company called and because of our late notice, they couldn't squeeze us in until August 1.  That meant we had to amend our lease agreement with the tenant to move in August 4 which caused a host of other issues like pro-rating rent and such.

The movers were scheduled to pick up our small shipment that goes by air (unaccompanied baggage) on July 27 and our big shipment AND our items going to long-term storage on July 31 and August 1. Meanwhile, mid- July, we found someone to buy our mini van.  Things were really falling into place at this point.

On July 14, the girl that wanted the minivan said they were interested in buying it but her husband was on a short TDY and wouldn't be back until the 29th.  We expressed our concern because we were leaving the country on the 5th, but they insisted they wanted the van, we agreed on a price and we were told that they would come by the day after he returned and purchase the van.

On July 22, the weekend before everything was supposed to start happening, my father-in-law unexpectedly passed away.  My husband had to take emergency leave to go home and the kids and I had to stay behind because of the scheduled obligations we had with the move.  I imagine it could have all been delayed based on the circumstances, but if we had delayed the movers, it would have been another three or four weeks and then my husband would have missed his report date.  So, we left that as is and I stayed behind to deal with it.

The guy that was buying our van came back on the 29th and as promised, came to our house the 30th, test drove the van, told my husband he loved it, he wanted it, but he didn't have the money.  He said he was waiting for his travel money to come in from his previous trip and it should be in that week. DJ expressed his concern stating that he led us to believe he would be purchasing the van that day and never said he did not have the money and that we would be leaving the country that following weekend.  The guy just said he would be in touch and left.  The next day, on Tuesday, he gave us a deposit of $2000 so that we would not sell the van to someone else as we had expressed our urgent need to get rid of it and the fact that we had held it for the past two weeks for him.

My husband was back before the big move date, but the base then insisted that in order to do his final out processing, he had to take his PT test on the first day of our movers and go do M-16 training all day on the second day of the movers.  He asked if he could get out of the training since it is not necessary for his assignment and it was interfering with the move and they told him no.  It is often suggested that both people be present for the movers, because there are four or five guys packing quickly and you need someone going around each room and outside to make sure they pack everything, pack it well and answer any question they might have.  It was total chaos when the long-term storage guys showed up at the same time as the movers and it was just me there.  I was running around with everyone asking me questions and me needed to be in about four places at once.

That afternoon, while in the second half of M-16 training, a thunderstorm rolled in and they cancelled it and sent them home with instructions that they had to be back the following day at 1.  My husband was supposed to take the car we were shipping overseas to the port that day while I did a walk-though with our tenant. After about a million phone calls, he determined he was given wrong information and he did NOT have to take that training course and he basically wasted half a day.  So- the following day, he took the car to the port and I did some cleaning of the house as well as the walk-through with the tenant.

We knew that since our things were all packed, we would need temporary lodging or a hotel starting that night, so earlier in the day, Thursday, I ran over to the lodging office to talk to them.  When we had called three weeks earlier to reserve a room, we were told they didn't have one and we would just have to show up on that day and see if they had an opening.  They did not and told me I would have to go off-base to a hotel they use about 15 miles away.  I expressed my concern because our car was being dropped off at the port that day and we still thought we were selling the minivan any day.  I had no idea how we were going to get around.  At that moment, there was a cancellation and he told me I was very lucky and assigned me the room.  I was so thankful!  I took the keys and the room assignment with me back to our house and we finished up cleaning around 11pm.  We loaded all our luggage in the van and drove over to lodging, unloaded the luggage onto a luggage cart and walked, exhausted from cleaning, down the hall to our room, where we discovered someone else in it.

My husband walked across the street to the lodging office where he showed them the keys and paper with room assignment we were given and was told that the guy that assigned the room to me must have forgotten to put it in the system, so essentially, they gave our room away.  And now they were full and there was nothing they could do.  It was 11:30, my kids were exhausted and we had nowhere to stay.  The guy insisted it was no big deal, he would call the hotel off-base (the one 15 miles away) and so he did only to learn they were full too.  At that point, the military lodging fabulous customer service told my husband they were sorry but there was nothing they could do.  We would have to drive around and find a place ourselves.  When my husband refused to accept that, they offered us a room on a nearby base, but it was supposed to be for adults only, had only a double bed and no beds for the kids.  He said the kids would have to sleep on the floor.  I decided we were NOT paying for kids to sleep on the floor, and if people were sleeping on the floor, we would do it in our own house for free.  So, we drove back to our house, pulled the mattresses down (thankfully they were not packed yet) and slept with couch pillows as pillows and no blankets.  We were so exhausted it didn't matter.

On Friday, my husband still had to run around doing all of the final out things that he had not had time to do previously and I continued cleaning the house.  We still did not hear from the guy that wanted our van and tried to call several times with no answer.  I cleaned until almost midnight and then we walked away from the house for the last time before our tenant moved in on Saturday.

On Saturday, we just hung out in our lodging room resting because we were exhausted from the previous week.  We still didn't hear from the guy about the van.

Sunday was the say we were getting on a plane.  We had to vacate our room by 11am as they didn't do late checkout.  But, our flight wasn't until 10pm that night, so we kind of flitted between friends' houses throughout the day to keep us occupied.  Sunday afternoon, DJ got in touch with the guy that wanted the van and he said he didn't have the money yet but still wanted the van.  We had to leave the van, the title and a power of attorney with one of DJ's buddies to handle it.  Sunday evening, we got on a plane and left the US.

Since arriving in England, it has been a whirlwind of emotions.  We got right into our lodging room and found a house to rent rather quickly.  But we found out that our small shipment that was supposed to be here in two weeks and that I put the kids' backpacks, lunch boxes and school supplies in was going to actually take about a month to get here.  And the big shipment would take two months.

DJ got in touch with the guy that wanted the van again who said he would have his money by the end of this week, but then just randomly mentioned that he was now going through a costly legal custody battle.  I was wondering if his random proclamation was a pre-cursor to something.

The cost of all of the little things we have to pay for here is quickly adding up and although we will eventually be reimbursed for most of it, it will take another few weeks before we get that money back.  In the meantime, it is painful on the savings account.  We had also been counting on the sale of the van money to help us out so we could buy a British vehicle and stop having to pay weekly rental fees for a rental car.

Tuesday, we got an email from our property manager that our tenant back in the states had an emergency hornet situation over the weekend and since it was an emergency, they didn't require any consult with us about it, so she just called and exterminator out over the weekend and it would cost $200.

Now, when we set the rent for the house, we set it at $450 over our mortgage payment with the intent of leaving the extra in that account for repairs should they arise.  Well, remember when I said they had to prorate the payment?  Well, here is how that went down:

She paid a $2000 deposit that went to the realtor, we didn't see any of that money. She moved in August 4, but they had her pay full month's rent for August because the first month's rent is their fee for finding the tenant in the first place. They also take 10% out each month for the property management fee- which is $150. They pro-rated September's rent for those 4 days which cut the rent by about $200.  Now, when they take the additional $200 out of the rent for the exterminator, we will not have enough money to even pay our mortgage for September.  And we are no longer receiving housing allowance based on New Jersey, so part of September's mortgage payment will be coming out of our already dwindling savings too.

Yesterday, we found that our house failed inspection. The base has to go inspect it before they will let us live in it.  But, it should be a fairly simple fix, so hopefully it is fixed soon and we can arrange to move in.

Today, our friend back in the States got in touch with the guy with the van and this time he said that he might not have the money to complete the purchase because of the costly legal battle, but he won't know until next week.  At this point, we are screwed.  We held it for them, we have no way of selling it to anyone else and the quickest and easiest way for us to get rid of it is to have his friend drive it to a nearby car sense where they will give us $1600- $2000 less than we were supposed to get for the private sale, so they can turn around and sell it for profit.  We will lose so much money on it and it puts us in a bind not having that money in savings.

I know I love England.  I loved it before, it is just so difficult this time around.  Granted the majority of all our stress is coming from Stateside.  But it is about to break us. Financially, physically, mentally and spiritually.

There is no cell signal here. My mother tried to call me on my cell, but it dropped the call every time, so I gave her the room number.  For some reason it is not working.  Even DJ's friend who is here on a temporary trip tried calling it and it didn't work for him either.  There is no wifi whatsoever.  We have one little ethernet cable coming out of the wall and have to share the laptop.

DJ went out to see his buddy this evening because they haven't seen each other in over a year.  I didn't mind it at all.  Zoe was running 103.4 fever earlier today, so I didn't mind staying home with her.  So, I ran to the commissary real quick before he left to get some things for a fun night in watching tv.  And I swear on all that is holy, at 9:00 pm, the cable went out.  It is still out.

And I can only laugh.

Or cry.

Sometimes both at the same time.

"Don't Let a Suitcase Full of Cheese Become Your Big Fork and Spoon"

Have you seen the episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where Ray and Deborah have a standoff about who is going to unpack a suitcase?  It sits on the landing to the stairs for a few weeks while they both wait for the other to unpack it.  It becomes a hilarious standoff where Deborah finally sticks a wheel of cheese in the suitcase hoping to force Raymond to take it upstairs and unpack it.  She tells Marie about this and Marie then tells her a story about the big fork and spoon on her kitchen wall she and Frank fought about years ago and how their presence remind her of the argument every time she passes them.  She says, "Don't let a suitcase full of cheese become your big fork and spoon."  Liberated by her own proclamation, Marie then proceeds to remove the fork and spoon from the wall only to discover a dust outline and she has to return them to their spot.  When she mentions it to Frank, he remarks, "When did we get those?".

My point of this- the things that bother us as women, most men don't notice or care about.

So- what is my big fork and spoon?  It isn't a seething-under-the-surface-anger kind of thing, but really more comical.

A few years after we bought our house in New Jersey, DJ renovated the kitchen- new tile, new sink, added more cabinets and a kitchen island.  It was beautiful when he was done.  The only thing- he removed the piece of trim under the kitchen window in order to replace the tile backsplash and, exhausted after finishing the tile and grout, didn't replace it.  It was going to be such a quick thing- just cutting the trim to the length needed and nailing it in place- that he just left it to another day.

Another month, another year- and the thing was never replaced. Because I am short, when I stood at the sink, it was right in my line of vision.  Most people could not see it, but it was always in my sight driving me crazy with it's ugliness and sense of unfinished business.

(from my point of view while standing at the sink)

(It is like a long-running joke, appearing in all the family photos.  Here is Naked Window posing with Noah during his wacky clothes day at school:)

Here is Naked Window posing for my photo that was to be added to the realtor site looking for renters:

Here is Naked Window photo-bombing my picture of my fall decor:

Naked Window is a sneaky little booger, even showing up in photos taken from the living room:

Here is Naked Window smiling for being included in Zoe's birthday photo last summer:

When we found out we received an overseas assignment, would have to move and therefore rent out our house, I thought the day had come that he would FINALLY put the trim in place.  We spent two months touching up nail holes in the wall, touching up paint, repainting a few rooms, purging the house of a lot of things we did not need, doing a few silly minor things so it would pass the inspection for rental property and minor repairs.

And still no trim.

The movers picked up our furniture on Tuesday and Wednesday before we were supposed to turn the house over to our renter on Saturday.  With the help of a friend, I spent Thursday and Friday cleaning the house from top to bottom while DJ honored all his military appointments and drove our car to be dropped off at the port for shipping overseas.  

Still no trim.

Friday night, at about 11:00 pm, I finally finished the cleaning of the house, with mopping and sweeping the kitchen and living room and then rinsing out the kitchen sink I had been using for all the cleaning.

DJ inspected the grounds outside, made sure we had left nothing behind, took the last of the trash out for trash day the following day, and at 11:15pm, walked in the house with a piece of trim.

It was the last thing we did before walking away from our house.

Naked Window is finally clothed.  

At least our tenant can enjoy it's completeness.

But then again, she probably won't even notice.

Yanks in the Motherland

If you missed it- we are in the middle of an overseas move.  We arrived here on Monday afternoon and have spent the past week doing all the necessary things in order to process in here as well as try and find a place to live.  Currently, we are in temporary lodging which has no wifi.

It has no wifi.

I know, right?

So- we have this one little plug of internet that comes from the wall which results in my husband and I fighting over the laptop all the time.

The good news is that we've found a house to rent- and it is two hundred years old!  Very charming and has loads of history!  Hopefully we can move in in two weeks and crossing our fingers our furniture follows shortly afterward.  It is a typical English home with very small rooms and no closets in the bedrooms.  I am not sure where our furniture is going to go (and we are coming from a small house- 1300 square foot- in the States) but, luckily we will have a two car garage and a cellar to stow the things that don't fit.

We loved England the last time we were stationed here and have always talked about coming back.  And now we are here.  Once we are settled in, I feel like this is going to be a great assignment.  We are so excited.  We just have to get over the jet lag.  And get used not having a dishwasher or a laundry room.  We will be doing laundry in the kitchen.

However- BONUS- are you ready for this?  We have one and a HALF baths.  TWO TOILETS!  That is a huge improvement over our house in New Jersey!! No more dancing outside the door of the bathroom begging the person inside to hurry up while wondering how far your bladder can be pushed beyond it's limit.

See you soon!!

Cheers!

It's a Good Thing We are Moving- Because Otherwise, We Might HAVE to Move

This past weekend was our annual squadron picnic at a park/playground on base.  The time was listed as 11- whenever.  We arrived at 11:30 and the kids immediately began to run around and play.  Since this was our last squadron function, we stayed for quite awhile hanging out and talking to friends.  In fact, they actually started taking down the tents and bouncy castles around us.  The husbands went to help and my friend Karyn and I sat in our chairs, chatted and watched the children play.  We sat, and sat and SAT until it was almost 7pm and the only people left were her family, my family, the squadron commander's family and one other family.

The squadron commander walked over and said, "Hey- why don't we just move this party over to my house?  I live about a mile from here, we can order pizza and put a movie on for the kids."

I hesitated.

Not because I didn't want to go over there, but because Zoe was tired, and hungry.  And Zoe is prone to epic meltdowns.  Once she crosses the threshold into one of these meltdowns, there is no stopping it.  We normally just put her in her room and leave her alone for the duration (or remove her from the situation if we are not home).

My friend Karyn said she thought they were going and wanted to know if we were going too.  I informed her of my concerns- "If Zoe has one of her meltdowns in front of the commander, I will be mortally embarrassed."

Karyn: "Well, I don't think she could top the first time we went over there.  (Her son) decided to open the craft paint in the playroom and paint the carpet, the wall, the desk, etc."

Me: "Wow!  Yeah- that makes me feel better.  But a meltdown wouldn't be pretty either."

We decided to go. We had a great time- ate pizza, drank wine and sat around a fire pit chatting while the kids watched movies inside.  Zoe was so good- quiet and well-behaved.  But as I stepped inside to tell the kids it was time to go, the sight before me made me realize that perhaps the universe heard Karyn's statement that Zoe couldn't top what her son did and thought to itself, "Challenge accepted!"

Let's back up a minute.

When Zoe was about a year old, she started lying in the middle of the floor on her stomach and, well, pleasuring herself.  She only does it when she is tired, but it is obvious what she is doing because she lies on her stomach and makes a motion like a dog humping a leg.  Seriously.

I never wanted to make her think it was wrong, so I told her repeatedly as a baby that it was okay to do that, but she needed to go in her room to do it (as opposed to her preferred location- right in the middle of the living room floor).  As she got older and understood more, I elaborated and told her it was private and she needed to do it in her room alone.  For the most part, she follows this rule, but sometimes, when she is really tired, she will drop right where she is and start humping the floor.

Which leads me to the moment we decided it was late and time to go.  I walked into the living room to find all the kids lined up on the couch watching the movie.  All except for Zoe.  Zoe was lying on her stomach, straddling a giant teddy bear, humping his tail.

Go back and read it again if you have to.

No one said anything- but I can't see how they missed what was going on.

Dear Universe: Challenge accepted and mission completed.  Thanks for that.

Chaos Family public self-gratification moment at the commander's house for the win!!

(I'm kind of glad we are leaving now)

Flashback Post- Two Years Later and Some Things Haven't Changed

The Chaos Family is in chaos mode right now getting ready for our big move.  I can't wait to blog about our adventures in England, but I just am not finding the time to write right now with the long to-do list I have that keeps getting longer.

I was just scrolling through old posts and came across one that I found funny- because I posted it in July 2010- two years ago.  And, I would say things pretty much haven't changed- except for the fact that Zoe isn't in diapers anymore- everything else is the same.  Enjoy.

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was the summer of 2010 and far on the other side of the Delaware River in the Kingdom of Jersey (Phyllum: Crazy) lay a sleepy little cottage.

You know the one. There is one in your neighborhood. The one where you tell your children not to go.  Because the kids look feral. Dirty. Wild.

Yep, that's my house. I never wanted to be THAT house. As a toddler, my son was always well-dressed and coordinated with cute little hats. He rarely got very dirty. I used to see little girls with pretty dresses and bows in their hair and dream of having one of my own someday to compliment my beautiful, well-dressed little boy.

I got a girl. But she doesn't like to wear hats, or barrettes, or pony tails. She doesn't like anything in her hair and her hair is quite wild without restraint of some kind. She loves dresses, but she shows them no mercy. She rolls in the dirt while wearing them.

I digress.

Back to my story:

The sleepy little cottage appeared serene and tidy. But looks were deceiving. One day, a neighborhood child knocked on the door of this seemingly-innocent home. The door was answered by a somewhat well-mannered little boy and the two children exchanged greetings and plans to play outside. Parental permission was granted and the two proceeded outside to withdraw the cease fire on the Nerf wars issued the previous day due to overbearing mothers and their insistence that the troops shower and go to bed.

While standing in the front yard, discussing the day's strategy, a naked, unkempt figure appeared in the full-glass storm door. The figure- presumably a little girl- had only minutes before been dressed fully in a charming little sundress she insisted on with hair put up in a neat and tidy pony tail with matching hair elastic. What stood before the door now, was a completely naked, diaper-less, pony tail-less unkempt wild animal with her tongue sticking out, thrashing her head around with red hair flying wildly about, giggling maniacally and dancing, PURPOSELY naked in front of the door. The mother heard the little boy scream, her son say, " Oh my God. That's my sister. She doesn't like to wear any clothes." apologetically, and then her father yell, "GO PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!"

The feral child changed clothes (and disrobed) no less than twelve times throughout the day. She spent her day sabotaging the Nerf wars, breaking the toys, hitting, biting, spitting, screaming, and yes, dancing naked for the troops. She also spent a good part of the day in time-out. By the end of that day, her mother was greeted by a child, dirty from head to foot, with wild, stringy hair hanging in her face but clumped together by some unknown sticky substance, wearing a shirt, but no pants and her shoes lost long ago. For a minute, she thought perhaps she had located, by giving birth to, the elusive legendary Jersey Devil; but then, It giggled at her with the toothiest grin, and she sighed, smiled and leaned down to kiss the dirty, clumpy little head.

Because everyone has a mother that thinks they are beautiful.

Even the Jersey Devil.

The Things We Leave Behind....

Since the last time I posted, we have received our official orders which means we can now start scheduling things for our move.  We drove to Texas and stayed a week to say goodbye to all of our family members and to leave our dog with my mother.  Thanks to my mother for offering to give her a home for the next three years.

I would also like to thank my dad and stepmom for hosting a going away party at their house to provide a central location where our family could meet to see us, hang out and say goodbye.  It saved us a lot of traveling from house to house in a short amount of time.

Upon arrival back to New Jersey, we promptly bought paint to touch up the nail holes in the wall and several items we need in order to bring our house up to code to pass inspection for a rental property.  It was the moment I took the pictures off the wall that it really hit me.  We are leaving.

After twelve years in New Jersey, it is like leaving home all over again.  This is our first house- we rented at our last assignment and then lived in military housing for four years here before buying a home.  Noah was eighteen months old when we bought this house and he only remembers living here.  We brought Zoe home to this house after she was born. We have renovated and made it our own.  We have grown as a family in this house. It is ours. It was good to us and now we are leaving it behind.

I am excited about our next adventure and I know we will have a blast living in England, but I cannot forget some of the sacrifices we must make.  We have made some great friends- military and non-military in the last twelve years.  Our neighbors across the street have watched our dog, our children, gathered our mail, watered our plants, and even helped me shovel snow during that crazy winter when DJ was deployed.  I am going to miss them.  They are hilarious- I have blogged at least twice about them- the time we had a water balloon fight across the street and the time Noah off-handedly remarked he would pay them $500 if they painted polka dots on their house.  So, they cut out polka dots and taped them on the outside and asked Noah to pony up.  Great people.  They will be missed.

In March 2005, we had just moved into our new home and I didn't know any of the neighbors yet.  My friends on base had all just either moved away, or were away on lengthy trips home and I was feeling sorry for myself.  It occurred to me that some of my best friendships were forged in high school and college band.  So, I googled "community band" and came up with a group that met just fifteen miles from my house.  I joined and they quickly became like family. As a group, they watched me through my second pregnancy and when Zoe had complications and wound up at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, the outpouring of support and offers of help, meals, etc, was just amazing.  One family in particular adopted us almost immediately.  They live in the same town where we live and invited us over for their family Christmas Eve get-together since we had no family in the area.  We have gone to their house every Christmas Eve since- they even welcomed our family into their house twice when our family was visiting New Jersey for Christmas.  We also spent several Thanksgivings with them and they made a point of taking me out to a special birthday dinner in the dead of winter for my birthday the year DJ was deployed.  They didn't want my birthday to go uncelebrated.  Great people.  They will be missed.

And then there is the neighbor that I know, but not well.  We converse over the fence a la Snuffy and Loweezy Smith chatting with Elviney and Lukey.  And yet, on the Mother's Day DJ was deployed, she showed up at my door and asked if she could borrow my kids for a few minutes.  I agreed and about fifteen minutes later, they came back toting potted flowers for me.  She helped them plant their own flowers in little pots and bring them to me for Mother's Day.  They will be missed too.

I have made some wonderful military friends over the years as well and they have all left me at some point.  This time, I am the one leaving.  A few years ago, I was at a MOPS meeting, sad that the only two friends I had left were leaving soon.  A new girl showed up to the meeting and was assigned to our table.  She sat down and introduced herself- she had a four-month-old baby and said she was just exhausted with the baby and was relatively new to the base and wanted to get out and meet new people.  Her husband worked long hours and she rarely ever got out.  We chatted a little bit, I noticed when I glanced at the roster that it was her birthday that day and I told her happy birthday.  The meeting was over and we both left and went our separate ways.  Two days later, I was at another group setting for mothers of babies and in she walked.  We chatted over the next few months, but never really got together or made plans.  And then, in May, her husband was set to deploy and she invited my kids and I out to the park with her family.  I met her husband at the time and we briefly chatted about Air Force jobs.  My husband was in an entirely different squadron that had nothing to do with what he did. She and I gradually became friends and started hanging out together.  We formed a friendship and then,  one year after that initial meeting and discussion with her husband, in a strange twist, my husband's assignment was changed to the aircraft maintenance squadron.  He now worked with her husband!  They have been in the same squadron together for the past two years and her husband is now my husband's supervisor.  She has watched my kids for me for numerous reasons, provided more than her share of "therapy", "shoulder to cry on", "listening ear" as well as general companionship, friendship, entertainment and always a good snarky remark via text message.   I am going to miss her so much.

I am so thankful for all of the people that have been placed in my life at just the right moment.  I hope that trend continues and that there are awesome people waiting to cross our path in England (or Karyn gets an assignment to England).

I am going to miss New Jersey, Wawa, Jersey Sweet Corn, "down the shore", pizzerias, cheesesteak, The Robin's Nest, being a short train ride away from NYC and my home.  But more than anything- I am going to miss the wonderful people- some New Jersey natives, some just living here temporarily.  I can't believe it is finally our turn to leave.  I have waited for eight years for it to be our turn. Here it is, and it is so bittersweet.

The Devil Made Me Fat

"An idle mind is the devil's playground."  Have y'all heard that?  I assume that means if you have too much time on your hands, and too much time to think about insignificant stuff- or stuff you cannot change or do anything about- you are more likely to fall into a pattern of negative thinking and get into trouble.

So... I get in bed and my mind is suddenly filled with anxiety, worries and scenarios I have no control over regarding our impending move overseas.

Because my mind is filled with all of these things, I find my heart racing and my body temperature rising.  My heart racing and the fact that I am starting to sweat prevents me from falling asleep.

So as not to awaken my husband in my state of insomnia, I get up to address an email I remembered I was supposed to follow up on yesterday.

While up addressing the aforementioned email, I see my iPhone light up because my sister has played her turn on Draw Something.

I grab my phone to play my turn and see that she has colored a nice picture of cookies for me to guess.

Because I am playing Draw Something on my iPhone and have just guessed the word "cookies", I now want to eat cookies.

There are no cookies in my house, but I find a package of Hostess devil's food (DEVIL'S FOOD??? ARE YOU SEEING IT??) mini doughnuts.

This is how I came to eat two mini doughnuts at 1:40 in the morning.

Because I couldn't find cookies after guessing "cookies" on the game Draw Something that I was playing because I saw my phone light up while up answering an email that I remembered in my state of insomnia that came about because my idle mind was filled with things that I could not control.

And if all the above is true and an idle mind is in fact the devil's playground, then the devil made me eat those doughnuts at 1:40 in the morning.

And the devil made me fat.

G'night.