A Note to Teenagers

I know all your little inside jokes are cute and hilarious to you and your friends, but please, for the love of Pete, think carefully before you write in your friends' yearbooks. Make sure what you write is timeless and mature and respectable.

Because, twenty years from now, you will be sitting on your couch next to your significant other looking at pictures on a social networking site (or holograms or whatever is appropriate at the time) of people you went to high school with. And your significant other will not remember someone and you will put out your yearbook to refresh his/her memory. You will carefully dust off the cover since it hasn't been opened in probably 10-15 years and show him the picture of the person of reference. THEN, you will go to the restroom and return to your significant other lying on the couch in a fit of hysterics laughing and making fun of various sentiments in your yearbook; making fun of various nicknames that seemed cute at the time, but are really stupid later. And then, he/she will gasp for air and begin reciting verbatim various messages.

Such as, " I love you, butt you don't love me." ( yes, "but" is spelled with two t's because that is how it was spelled in the yearbook making you wonder who your secret admirer with a spelling handicap was) And, "Forget about that dork, [boy's name here]" whom you actually DID forget about until being reminded of him in print, thankyouverymuch. And, " You are the weirdest person I know, but I love you anyway." And many many more...most referencing inside jokes you don't even remember. And finally, the lengthy submission from your boyfriend at the time ( aforementioned, "dork") and how even though you had only been dating less than a month at that point, he proceeded to post a warning in print- for all posterity and all eternity- to all other guys that you were his and belonged to no one else. That, " ...you touch, I break, YOU DIE!!!" Just like that. Who could have known you would break up with him a few months later for being a bit too possessive?

This is just a friendly warning to the younger generation and nothing that I actually know anything about. Because MY yearbook only includes submissions in iambic pentameter. And Latin.