Open Mic Night

So- since I have been terrible about writing lately, I figured I would open up the page to other contributions.  And it turns out, Noah wrote a great poem at school last week and Zoe just spent some time putting together a great little book earlier today.

First I will start with Zoe's work (Zoe is 5 and in kindergarten).  I will type her words and translate in parentheses.

Nobrs dod sop. (Numbers don't stop.)

Its fon to kat. (It's fun to count.)

I lik Nobrs. ( I like numbers.)

Doy yoy lik nbrs (Do you like numbers?)

3, 7

Som peBl dod no haw to kad (Some people don't know how to count.)

I like Nobrs 1 2 3 4 5 6 ( I like numbers. 1,2,3,4,5,6)

It's really cute- she even cut the little pages and taped them together in book format.

Now, on to Noah's contribution.  In class last week, his teacher asked them to write a poem about spring. (Noah is 9)

Spring Dream

Drip, Drip Drip

Can you spot the rain's tip?

Will it ever stop?

I sort of want to hop.

I'll be entertained by a bunny

as it hops around and acts funny.

I'll sling-shot myself off the swing

When I hit a cloud, I will cling.

I'll pull myself on the cloud

then I'll yell very loud.

When I came to the ground

you won't believe what I found.

"Hooray!", I cried

"The rain has stopped, everything has dried."

I woke up from my dream

and let out a little scream

I have not found the rain's tip

but still...

drip, drip drip.

A big thank you to Noah, 9 and Zoe, 5 for contributing to my blog and keeping it from falling into complete and utter derelict status.

Different Perspectives

Upon exiting the bus this afternoon, Noah rolled his eyes and said, "Well today was completely wasted! We got NOTHING done! We had a totally useless thirty minute assembly."

What was the assembly about? Why was it useless?

"The Cat in the Hat came to visit. It was so dumb. It was mainly for the little kids and we just had to sit there and watch."

*loud sigh followed by dramatic eye roll*

An hour and a half later, four-year-old Zoe practically jumped off the bus and was shouting with excitement at me as we crossed the street. The bus was too noisy and I couldn't hear her, but as soon as we got in the door, this is what I got:

"Mommy!! Guess what!? GUESS WHAT!!??"

What?

"The Cat in the Hat came to our school today... and we all got to go and wave at him... and his tail was pointy and pointing in my direction... and he waved at ME!! "

Wow! How exciting. You should tell your brother who came to see you at school today.

*Noah enters the room*

"Noah! GUESS WHO CAME TO OUR SCHOOL TODAY!?"

Noah, his interest genuinely peaked, "Who??"

*jumping up and down*

"The Cat in the Hat, THE CAT IN THE HAT!!!"

*massive eye roll*

I interjected, "Noah, tell her how exciting that is."

Now imagine a completely neutral mouth with a half-raised, awkward eyebrow and flat tone to his voice:

"Oh boy. How exciting. Lucky you."

We need to work on his acting skills.

Winter Wonderland- by Noah

Noah came home with another one of his writing projects the other day. They are so funny! His writing is really coming along but he is struggling with keeping the stories short. He gets caught up in this elaborate story he wants to write and the details which have the potential to stretch on for pages. His teacher is trying to get him to rein it in and tell the same fabulous story in a few short paragraphs. When this happens, I can visibly see in the story that he has a whole thought process going on and then suddenly sees the end of the page coming and thinks, "Oh crap! I have to wrap this up!" and he ends the story abruptly. I am going to type this story out exactly as he has written it- with his spelling and punctuation. (Noah is 8)

"Yay!", I yelled excitedly turning off my TV. " A parade is coming down town!", I cried gasping for air. The next day we made our car into a sleigh and the front of the car is atached to a cardbord cutout of reindeer on weels so the car can push the cutout around. Then we took the car to sign up for the parade.

The parade came and the "best car contest" was first. There was only three cars at the contest. A judge announced that the winner will ride behind Santa's float and get pictures with him. "We won!", I yelled!

There were millions of people at the parade. Santa was waiting for us at the end of the parade. I forgot what I had on my wish list so I took the picture and went. It felt like an hour before Zoe got done with Santa. We all went home happy.

The End

Sappho, Casanova, Byron, Shelley and Then There's Noah

A letter to Noah's Future Beloved:

Dear Future Beloved of Noah:

I apologize. It is NOT my fault. He was always this way.

Signed,

Your Future Mother-in-Law

I compare Noah to Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory a lot. But, before there was Sheldon and the Big Bang Theory, I had already made a connection between him and Alex P. Keaton from Family Ties. That analogy came screaming back to me on Monday as Noah and I were talking during the car ride home from school. (Note: his teacher is engaged to an Army officer currently stationed in Georgia and has plans to get married this December)

NOAH: Miss ______ left early today because she was taking a little trip to see Mister ________.

ME: Oh really?

NOAH: Yeah. She flies to see him every weekend. Can you believe that?

ME: I know! Can you imagine how exhausted she must be every Monday morning at school after that trip?

NOAH: Umm... yeah. AND BROKE! That must cost a lot of money!!

ME: Well when you are in love you do extraordinary things. It is worth it if you really love someone.

NOAH: Umm.... I'm thinking, NO. I would NOT spend money for THAT!

(to be fair- it is Book Fair week and he came home with a wish list totaling $70. I gave him the money to buy an $8 novel but he really wanted some $22 Lego book. I made him pay for that himself. I am sure his purse strings were still hurting from having to pay for that book. )

Guest Post- "Chaos at Camp"

I am very excited to announce that I have a guest-poster today. I can't really call him a "guest blogger" because he isn't a blogger. The person I am referring to is my eight-year-old son, Noah.

Noah's homework the other day was to write a paragraph including his "no excuse" words for the week- children, form, until, food, important, keep and going. Noah wrote a story. It came home in his folder Friday with "Wow! I love this!" and "You're a great writer!" written on it. This is a big deal, because Noah rarely applies himself. He always just does the bare minimum required of him to get by, so to go above and beyond and to be recognized for it is a big deal.

We wanted to encourage him, so we said we would scan it and send it to our family members and I told him I would put it on my blog. As much as I am itching to correct some things.. I won't. I will type this exactly as he wrote it- grammar, syntax, spelling errors and all. For an eight-year-old, I still think he did a wonderful job!

Chaos at Camp

The children at camp had to fill out a form to not be kicked out of camp. One kid thought that if you do not sign the form and you get kicked out of camp that you actually physically get kicked. He started to bawl saying unclearly, "I-I do-on't want t-to get kicke-ed." Mr. Mos the camp leader stared at the kid on the floor for a few seconds, then he called his mom. The kid cried until he saw his mom, the kid's name was Gorge. Gorge yelled "Mommy!" Gorge's mom said that if he keeps crying he will not have fast food. Mr. Mos looked at her with joy for making Gorge stop crying. After a few seconds Mr. Mos returned to what he was doing. Gorge heard Mr. Mos saying, "Welcome to survival class you all know why survival is important." Gorge told his mom "I no keep crying... I'm not going to continue." And he returned to his group.

I was impressed with his sentence structure, his use of complex sentences and most of all, with how he simulated Gorge's crying by typing out the quote as if her were stuttering." Perhaps I am just a proud momma, but it is my blog and I can show him off if I want to. ;-)

SCORE!

This afternoon, during the final soccer game of the winter indoor season, and after two years playing soccer, Noah scored his first goal.

His buddy and teammate Logan passed the ball to Noah who was standing in front of the goal and Noah simply kicked it in. I screamed and clapped. Noah looked up at me and I gave him a huge smile and two thumbs up from across the court. For a small moment I saw excitement but then he reeled it back in, crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked away from me as if to say, "Eh.. it's all in a day's work."

That's Noah- embarrassed when people are paying attention to him.

When the game was over, he ran to the sideline where I was standing with my hand in the air to high-five him. He smacked my hand, raised one eyebrow and half rolled his eyes while saying (as if he were an 80-year-old man outside the general store commenting on the weather), "Yeah, I just decided enough of this nonsense, this is the last game and I am scoring a goal no matter what."

And that was that. The game was over and Noah had scored his first goal. His mother was ecstatic. His coach was congratulatory, our neighbors were happy for him and he was totally unmoved by the whole thing.

Later, though, he began to feel comfortable with his accomplishment and by the time we got home, I was instructed to call all of the grandparental figures in Texas so that he could tell them of his feat.

Congratulations, my boy- my sweet, tiny old man.

Even if I am embarrassing you.

The Entrepeneur

My son desperately wants to make some money and he is scheming as to how to make it. I suggested that he help his mother shovel the foot of snow we awoke to find waiting in our yard and driveway today and/or with other things around the house; but he quickly balked at that idea. Those things are deemed "too hard". He would much rather make an easy buck.

This evening, he came in from playing outside in the snow (he had a snow day) and excitedly informed me that he had it. His next business idea. He is going to go door-to-door and sell snowman parts.

Digest that for a second.

I asked exactly what all the term "snowman parts" included. He said, "You know... sticks, carrots, coal..."

"So... things you can get for FREE in your yard and refrigerator?", I replied.

"Well, yeah, but..."

And then his friend interjected that Noah planned to charge $10 for a carrot nose.

"That's extortion!", I exclaimed.

"What?"

"Never mind. You are not selling snowman parts. And besides, I don't let you roam this neighborhood freely anyway and you can be certain I am not walking around with you to sell snowman parts."

He gave up on that idea and I thought the whole thing was put to rest.

Until about ten minutes ago, when the child that is supposed to be sleeping came tearing out of his room all wild-eyed and breathless and said, "Mommy! I've got it! I know how I'm going to make money!"

"Why aren't you asleep? Oh right... savvy, determined businessmen rarely sleep."

"I'm going to get the snow shovel and attach it to my Gator (PowerWheels) with bungee cords like a plow on front...."

[I started thinking that sounded like a good idea if we could really figure out how to attach the snow shovel to the front and make it work. But, I could have used that ingenuity twelve hours ago when I was shoveling a foot of snow out of my driveway.]

"... and then I will go door-to-door and ask if people have pets. If they do, then I will tell them, 'Well, I bet your pet is very sad he or she can't freely run and play in your yard with all the snow. I have a solution. I can plow a path around your yard for your pet.' "

I informed him that was a sweet thought, but the only people we knew with pets are two of our neighbors. His friend has a dog, but also two teenage siblings that help shovel so they don't need anyone to plow a spot for their dog. And the other neighbor pays the two teenagers to shovel her yard for her, so she wouldn't be in need of the services either.

Back to the drawing board.

I'll keep you posted as to his next business idea.

The Backseat Driver

Zoe starting preschool is reminding me of loads of Noah-in-preschool stories that I feel I need to record. I didn't have this blog when Noah was in preschool, so a lot of things have gone undocumented. And Noah requires documentation. This is perhaps my favorite Noah preschool story of all:

When Noah was three, I arrived to pick him up from preschool one afternoon only to be met by the family worker. She had been standing around his classroom waiting for me so she could share this story. Apparently, earlier that day, she had gone in the classroom and was playing a pretend game with the kids. She arranged some chairs in a line and announced that she was driving a bus to the zoo and if anyone wanted to ride along to the zoo, they should get in. Some children sat in the chairs- including Noah- and went along for the pretend ride.

As they were "driving" she was encouraging their imaginations by asking them to discuss what they might see outside or talk about where they were going. Noah interrupted to inquire as to which zoo they would be visiting.

"Umm, Philadelphia. Yes, the Philadelphia Zoo.", the family worker responded. He was satisfied with that answer and continued his imaginary ride in silence. The family worker continued her running commentary on their trip and once again Noah interrupted to ask:

"Are we taking the Ben Franklin or the Walt Whitman [bridge]?"

"Well, I guess we are taking the..."

"...because I want to take the Walt Whitman Bridge!"

" Okay, Noah, we are taking the Walt Whitman Bridge."

I am sure at this point, she was sorry she had embarked on this little trip with Miss Daisy in the backseat bossing her around, but God bless her, she continued nonetheless.

Family Worker: " Now, we are driving over the Walt Whitman Bridge, everyone look out the window and tell me what you see." (hoping to hear them talk about the water, boats, the city or even the zoo)

No one got to answer because Noah interjected, " IKEA! I see IKEA!! Can we go there instead?"

He was right, you can see IKEA from the Walt Whitman Bridge and he totally hijacked the imaginary bus of three-year-olds heading on their imaginary field trip to the Philadelphia Zoo.

Because, you know, Swedish flat-packed furniture and meatballs are WAY more important and interesting than stupid animals.

Priorities.