Update and Pictures

Okay- so this isn't a particular story- just a quick update with some pictures.

The week after my mid- January birthday, it snowed.  The snow, ice and bitter cold stuck around for a month and has finally melted away, but we are still having some rather chilly and damp weather.  But no snow or ice, so it is a gradual progression.

First the snow...

 (waiting for the bus after the snow)

 (walking to the bus after one night of a little snow)

The photos above were taken from my iPhone, but I did take my good camera out one afternoon and snapped some pictures while the snow was falling.  I loved one I got of the village church so much that I made it into a New Year's card (which of course I posted on Facebook and then never printed or sent to anyone).  I have smudged out our last name, but you get the idea.

And then after the snow, came the ice.

It got colder and colder, we started blowing through our tank of oil at an alarming pace, and I started cooking comfort food.

homemade chicken noodle soup

 goulash

On a random day the kids were out of school, we visited the farm shop at Elveden Estates and I picked up these adorable little "hot chocolates on stick".

They were delicious!

I indulged in a little retail therapy.  

I bought another beautiful second hand plate to add to my collection.

I bought a beautiful gramophone cabinet with twisted legs.  It does not have the gramophone in it, but I intend to put it in the guest room and use it to store extra sheets or blankets for the guest bed.  It will also double as a bedside table.

And one Monday morning, I decided to pop into the village auction just to see what it was all about. I won this little beauty for £2 ($3.24) !!!  It was originally a cabinet for a stereo with turntable and I needed a small cabinet for a little nook in my dining room.  I wanted to use it as a drinks cabinet and this worked perfectly.  The wood even matches my sideboard!

One cold weekend the sun came out and we decided to go visit an English Heritage property we had not seen (since we are members). We ventured out toward Castle Rising.  We plugged the post code into the GPS and took off.  We have had several humorous trips using the GPS.  It often takes us down byroads (which tend to look like someone's driveway, pasture or a sidewalk here).  Granted, we always get where we need to be, but on this particular outing, we got to giggling so much because we were in the Beetle. The GPS never told us we might need a 4 wheel drive for this route!  Matilda (my Beetle) almost bottomed out a couple of times and I wasn't entirely certain we were going to make it out without needing to call a tow truck.  So, of course, rather than panic, I let DJ drive and do that while I pulled out my phone to snap a picture. (Note: this was NOT the road where the castle was located- we were still 15 or so miles from it.  This was just some random road on the way there.)

But it was worth it when we made it.  What a charming place!  It is over 870 years old!!

In February, we went to stay the weekend with our friends Andrea and James.  They were our neighbors (neighbours?) the last time we were stationed here, but have moved from the area to down near London.  

Now, I have been trying to see Wicked for quite some time now.  Every time we talked about going to see it in New York, something came up or it got postponed.  Finally, in December 2009, DJ finally purchased tickets for us to go see it in Philadelphia for my birthday in January.  Sadly, my grandfather passed away and we had to go home to Texas for his funeral and missed the show.  

Well, I FINALLY got to see Wicked in London!  It was well worth the wait!  FABULOUS! Andrea, her friend Julie and I went into London for dinner and to see the show while James took DJ and the kids to a local farm.

 When we stepped out of the train station, I decided to be a tourist for a moment and take a picture of the double decker bus.  Later, Andrea pointed out the ad on the side of the bus.  How appropriate since we were belatedly celebrating my 40th birthday!  And if "This is 40" then 40 is totally fabulous!!

Meanwhile, at the farm, there was a rock wall.  Noah was hesitant and didn't want to climb, but Zoe insisted on trying.  She was really too small for it and only got a little ways up before the pegs were too spaced out for her to reach; but seeing her do it gave Noah the courage to try and he climbed all the way up!

Last week was the 100th day of Kindergarten and Zoe had to bring in a project with 100 things on it.  Their school mascot is the hedgehog so she made a little hedgehog and we glued 100 pieces of spaghetti on him for his spikes. By the time this picture was taken, he had lost some of his spikes.  Oh well... close enough.

And finally, while I don't have a picture, I will tell the story anyway.  Since Zoe has a summer birthday and would not get to celebrate it at school, her teacher lets them celebrate their half birthday.  She sent a note home last week stating they would be celebrating Zoe's half birthday on the 26th and asked that I send in a box of cake mix, tub of icing, 3 eggs and cupcake liners.  Part of the celebration is that Zoe gets to help make the cupcakes for the class.  She came home with her little birthday crown yesterday and said she got to go first in all the lines and also got to choose which rows lined up first from the carpet.  I asked her if she wore the crown all day and she said she did and that her bus driver asked her if it was her birthday today. She told him that no, it was her HALF birthday.  I am guessing he was probably thinking Americans were nuts- celebrating half birthdays.  

I think I have you all caught up for now.  I hope you enjoy the pictures.

Happy Shrove Tuesday/Fat Tuesday/Mardi Gras/Day-Before-Lent

I'm not Catholic- so while growing up, we always talked about and observed Lent but I never had to give anything up for it.  Because that is how Protestants roll- we make our own rules to suit us and giving up food just doesn't suit us.  I use "us" as a blanket term for Protestants when I know that many of them DO give up things, so, really, I guess, by "us" I mean "me".  None of my family ever gave up anything for Lent and neither did  most people I knew in my youth.  We had a few Catholics in our school and I was aware they ate fish instead of meat on Fridays, but that was really it. And I don't like fish- so the idea of giving up our Friday hamburger for fish never sat right with me.

Because of all of that, I have always been fascinated by various religions and fasting.  Mostly since I have never done it.  Well, except that one time a few weeks ago I had to fast for blood work but instead drank a giant glass of sweet tea in the morning, sheepishly admitted it to my doctor who told me to have the work done anyway and she would note it when tests shows I was a raging diabetic.  Except that she called me later laughing because my blood sugar was fine anyway.

But, I digress...

If I want to get back on topic ( and I am not sure that I do because a big glass of sweet tea sounds pretty good right now) I need to talk about Lent and fasting.

Most people know Lent is the 40 days leading up to Easter and that observant Catholics and other Christians give up something during this period.  Traditionally, it was things like eggs, milk, meat and fats.  They also didn't believe in wasting food- so a big celebration was held on Tuesday including a feast where they ate all of their remaining ingredients that would be forbidden during Lent and that were perishable and would not last through Lent.  "Mardi Gras" is french for "fat Tuesday"- because of they ate of all the "fats" before fasting for Lent.  My dad's side of the family is Cajun- so if you speak to me in terms of Mardi Gras, I can understand.

However, in the UK, this day is called "Shrove Tuesday" or "Pancake Day".  Here is the information I have found on Shrove Tuesday:

Shrove Tuesday gets its name from the ritual of shriving that Christians used to undergo in the past. In shriving, a person confesses their sins and receives absolution for them.

Shrove Tuesday is a day of celebration as well as penitence, because it's the last day before Lent.

Lent is a time of abstinence, of giving things up. So Shrove Tuesday is the last chance to indulge yourself, and to use up the foods that aren't allowed in Lent.

During Lent there are many foods that some Christians - historically and today - would not eat: foods such as meat and fish, fats, eggs, and milky foods.

So that no food was wasted, families would have a feast on the shriving Tuesday, and eat up all the foods that wouldn't last the forty days of Lent without going off.

The need to eat up the fats gave rise to the French name Mardi Gras ('fat Tuesday'). Pancakes became associated with Shrove Tuesday as they were a dish that could use up all the eggs, fats and milk in the house with just the addition of flour. (source)

Today, they kids had a free pancake breakfast at school to celebrate Shrove Tuesday.

I think it is great to learn about, celebrate and incorporate celebrations of your host nation.  My kids were very excited to experience their first Pancake Day.

But, most importantly, they must remember their roots.  And that is why, tonight for dinner, there will be jambalaya!

Laissez les bon temps rouler!!  Ayeeeeee!

Half a Year

That is how long we have been here.  Well, almost.  We will have officially been here for six months on Wednesday.  I cannot believe it has been six months already and yet, in the same breath, it seems like a lifetime has passed since we boarded that plane in Philadelphia leaving the last 12 years of our lives, our house, our friends, and the only home my kids have ever known behind.

I was excited to move to England.  We loved it the last time we were here.  I know I sound like a parrot here- because I keep saying, " I know we will love it again." That is me trying to be positive.  I keep saying that over and over like some sort of mantra but it doesn't seem to be sticking.  We are having a harder time here than we did last time.

Of course, I didn't expect it to be exactly like last time.  I can't recreate that experience.  I know that.  I mean, I arrived here after my husband had already lived here for two years.  He already had a house and a British car and had set up all the important things like television service, tv tax, road tax, electricity, etc.  He knew his way around, was familiar with his job and had some friends.  That meant that we had people to hang out with when I got here.  Our neighbors were very friendly and Andrea would just pop by all the time and ask me along on errands or nights out, so I learned, from a Brit, my way around and how things worked.  Since they were just next door, I could just pop over and visit whenever I had a moment or was bored  ( and I spend a lot of time over there).  Four months after arriving here, I started working on base (although it was not the most desirable job) and made some American friends too.  I settled in, had friends, went out and enjoyed life in England.

This time around, I have two children to worry about.  I have done my best to put on my happy face and try and show the children how fun England is and help them cope with the move.  But, the reality is, I am lonely.  I am miserable.  Other than a quick, "Hiya", in passing, our neighbors don't talk to us.  I don't even know most of their names.  A few have introduced themselves in passing, but that is all.  I have to come to terms with the fact that I am terrible at making friends!  I kept excusing myself saying, "Well, I'm still new here.", but I've seen people get here in the last few months and already have friends and going places with them.  So, it is me.  I miss having a friend to just drop by and have tea/coffee/cake/cookies and chat.  I miss having a friend to invite me over to do the same.  I miss having  someone to go shopping with, another family for my family to hang out with.  And the thing is- so do my kids.

Many a night, Noah has come down the stairs after bedtime crying and saying he wants to go back to New Jersey. He had friends there.  He went to play at his buddy's house, had friends over to our house and was comfortable there.  Not one person has invited him to play since we have been here.  Within the first month of school, he had identified two boys in particular that he plays with.  I sent notes in to school to go home with them giving their parents our phone number if they were interested in letting the boys get together.  Neither of them contacted me.

Zoe is having a hard time too, but being only five, she doesn't know how to express it.  She's having serious behavior problems, exhibiting alarming (to me) behavior when she is her most upset.  She cries because she hates her room and hates our house.  She doesn't want to go to school- she just wants to stay home with me. She appears to be needing extra attention, but it is to the point of being ridiculous.  She doesn't like for Noah to receive ANY attention. If we tell Noah "thank you" or "good job" on something, she is immediately asking, "What about me?  Didn't I do a good job?"  and the situation won't even be relevant to her.  We do praise her plenty and thank her, but it never seems to be enough.   We only have the weekend to all spend time together and I like to do things all together, but I have decided that perhaps we need to start splitting up and DJ taking one kid while I take the other and we have solo time with them.  Of course the problem with that is that I don't get to spend time with DJ.

Both of the kids are in need of playmates and friends.  They are not playing well together and just push each other's buttons, causing a fight and causing me to get angry with them.

DJ is grumpy.  He's not feeling fulfilled in his job.  He doesn't feel like he is accomplishing anything which makes him miserable. This bad mood carries over into other things in that when the little things go wrong, he feels overwhelmed (this weekend alone, our tv, that is only 3 years old has started going out and two space heaters- one that is just a few weeks old and one that is about a month old- have decided to intermittently quit working).  The brakes on the Beetle seem a little flaky too and need to be looked at as well as the fact we never figured out what was wrong with the Zafira after it left me stranded on the side of the road.

So, while I keep telling myself "It will get better. We will love it here again.", I am starting to not believe it.  Before, I was confident we would be fine and we would settle in, but now I am not so sure.

I told the kids this morning that they cannot keep comparing England to New Jersey.  They need to accept this as a new experience and enjoy the thing they can do here that they can't do in America.  I reminded them that if they continue to hang on to New Jersey, it will be a very long and miserable three years here.  I need to listen to my own advice.  I thought I had.  I came here excited to be here, with an open mind, ready for adventure.  I was ready to show my kids why we loved it here so much.

And yet, six months later- here I sit- with a silent phone and a dusty front door mat, unable to capture the magic I left behind twelve years ago.  Here's to the next six months!  May they go nowhere but up and may they be filled with love, laughter and acceptance.

If Only the Whole World Could Follow the Lead of a Five-Year-Old

I have always loved "All I Really Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten".  I think there is a beautiful innocence in the mind of a child, not yet affected by the cynicism of the world or the beliefs of their peers.  It is "pure as the driven snow", sweet, loving and kind.

 I just had all this reinforced in my mind a few minutes ago while putting Zoe to bed.  Our conversation went like this:

"Mommy?  Is tomorrow a school day or a stay home day?"

"It's a stay home day."

"But we already stayed home two days, why is tomorrow a stay home day?"

"It's a holiday."

"What holiday?"

"Martin Luther King Day"

"What is 'Martin the King Day'?"

(Remember, she is only five, so I wanted to explain it as simply as possible)

"Well, Martin Luther King Jr was a black person.  He tried to make white people be nicer to black people and treat them the same way as other white people.  There was a time when white people were not very nice to black people."

"Like, how?  They couldn't eat in restaurants?"

(Clearly, they have discussed this at school)

"Exactly.  And no matter how tired they were, they weren't allowed to sit down on the bus, they had to stand and let the white people sit.  They also were not allowed to drink out of drinking fountains that white people used no matter how thirsty they were."

"That seems really mean."

"Yes, it does, doesn't it?  Martin Luther King Jr thought so too and he wanted to pass laws to make sure that black people could do everything that white people could do.  But, some people didn't like him and didn't want things to change, so they had him killed.  So, we remember him and the things he did on MLK Day because his birthday was in January."

"He died?"

"Yes."

"But the mean stuff doesn't happen anymore?"

"Unfortunately, sometimes it does."

"Wow.  That makes me sad."

"Me too, sweetie."

And then, she kissed me goodnight, interjected something random about one of her Barbies and rolled over to go to sleep.

If only all the grownups in the world were as sweet as their children.  Then, maybe the world would be a better place.  But for now, there is always the HOPE that her opinion never changes and that she carries that conversation and those beliefs into her adulthood.

Hope.



Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.  ~Martin Luther

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

"To Believe or Not To Believe?", That is the Question.

Last night, I was sitting on the couch reading after putting the kids to bed.  I heard the distinct sound of feet above my head and then I saw Noah come shuffling down the stairs, dragging his blanket a la Linus and crying.

"What's the matter, Boo?", I asked.

"Well, I was just lying in bed thinking about Christmas and wondering what I was going to get when I started thinking about Santa, his reindeer, elves and the North Pole.  And suddenly, I realized how silly and childish it all is. I know magic is not real, so how can that all be real?  I just want to believe in Santa, but I can't anymore and so I feel like I have lost my Christmas spirit."

My mind was racing.  I knew this conversation would come eventually, but somehow, I was still caught off-guard.  (and DJ was conveniently in the shower blissfully unaware of my interrogation downstairs) I was waiting for the bottom line- for him to ask me if Santa was real.

I started by saying that if not believing is making him so sad, then why didn't he just believe.  He said it just seemed too childish and silly when he thought about it and he just didn't believe anymore.  But, he was crying over it, so I felt he wasn't really ready to let it go.

My next approach was explaining that he didn't have to believe. But that if he didn't, he could not ruin it for any of his friends at school or other little kids- that part of the magic of Christmas is seeing them get so excited over it all.  I told him that he was mistaken when he believed he had lost his Christmas spirit because Christmas spirit was inside you and had nothing to do with Santa Claus.

"Honestly, Noah, I still get excited when I see Santa Claus!  Didn't you notice all the adults clapped and applauded when Father Christmas showed up at the Village Hall the other night? Don't you remember the guy in Browns Mills that drove around in his truck with a long white beard and mustache and looked EXACTLY like Santa?  I would squeal and say, 'Look! It's SANTA!' every time we saw him! And I am almost forty years old!! It is what he represents that is important.  It is about showing love for others, and us all taking care of one another.  When Daddy saw that man walking his bike home from base the other night, because it was too dark, icy and dangerous to ride on that road, he pulled over and gave him a ride.  That was helping our fellow man.  That was the Christmas spirit.  When you used your dollars you earned for good behavior in class to buy Zoe silly bands in your teacher's store last week, that was being kind and thoughtful toward your sister.  You did something out of the kindness of your heart and made her happy.  That is the Christmas spirit.  Do you remember how excited you got at the Village Hall when you saw all the presents the kids brought to Father Christmas for him to deliver to a local shelter?  And you even remarked to me that you thought those kids were going to be very excited.  THAT is the Christmas spirit inside of you.  And it doesn't have to just happen at Christmas.  We should love each other, be kind to each other and take care of everyone all year around.  It's called love.  And that is what Christmas is all about."

By this time, DJ had appeared downstairs and clued in on this conversation.  He nodded his head in affirmation of what all I had just said and added other examples of Christmas spirit to the mix.  We concluded with telling Noah it was okay if he didn't believe in Santa, but that that didn't mean he had lost his Christmas spirit.  I told him, essentially, each time we do a good deed for someone else, or give someone an unexpected gift just because we love them and are thinking of them, we are being Santa Claus at that moment.

He pondered this for a few seconds and then said, "Except- there is only ONE Santa Claus that lives at the North Pole and so we can't really say WE are Santa Claus."

DJ and I glanced at each other, confused, and then I think we both came to the same conclusion at once- that apparently Noah still isn't ready to give it up.

So, we nodded and said, "That's right, now go to bed!" and sent him on his way.

For the record he never once asked me if Santa was real or if we were Santa.  And I still am unsure if he believes or not.

So for now, I guess the spirit of Santa lives a little longer in our house.

And hopefully, our discussion instilled in him that the spirit of Christmas lives within us, always.

The Window and "I'm Cold"

When I was reading through my last post taking you into my dining room, I discovered that I had left the most important feature of the room out:

The window.

In various photos I have posted before of my sideboard, several people have asked if that was a dumbwaiter. It isn't, but has a great (to me) story!

When I first introduced you to our house, I told you how it used to be a home and a shop.  Our living room was the shop. During that time, the owner would have primarily lived in the dining room space- warming around the fire.  They would have needed to know if someone walked in the shop, so rather than having to keep checking, they built a window that provided a clear view of the shop door from the vantage point of someone sitting by the fire in the dining room.  (Remember, I told you the shop door has been turned into a built-in bookcase in our living room).

(the view if you zoom in on the window from the chair next to the fireplace- see the bookcase?  That used to be the shop door.)

Now, onto other things.  In order to cut down on heating costs, which are expensive here, I have had to learn to get used to a cooler temperature in the house than I am used to.  In New Jersey, we kept it around 70 (21 C).  Here, it generally stays around 64 (18 C).  I just keep thick socks and a hoodie or cardigan on.  So, this morning, after I walked the kids to the bus stop, I could not get warm.

I have my fuzzy socks:

I am wearing a hoodie AND a hat:

And, although you can't see them, I am also wearing thermals under my jeans.  When I am sitting, I also have a blanket on.  As I type this, my hands actually ache from the cold.  We filled up our oil tank in September and were hoping to make it through the winter as oil is more expensive in the winter. But, it is becoming apparent to us that we will probably have to fill it again by January.  And that should cost a small fortune.

Anyway,  as I was saying, I cannot get warm.  So, I wandered in to the office to look at our thermometer.  Fifty-eight degrees (14 C).  No wonder I am freezing!!  I went upstairs and bumped the heat from 16 to 18 to try and warm it up a little more in here!  I am so thankful, England doesn't get that cold!  I don't think I could take New Jersey temperatures in this house!  OR.. I wouldn't be able to AFFORD New Jersey temperatures in this house!  THIS is why these houses are built with so many fireplaces!  It is a shame ours don't work!

So, for now, I sit in the corner of my couch, typing this blog within easy reach of the radiator (see it behind the curtain?).  Aside from the heat radiating from it,  I also like to alternate between placing my hands on it to warm them up.

Our English House- Part 4

One of Mama Kat's writing prompts this week was: "Friends are on their way over to your house for a coffee date.  What kind of afternoon can they expect with you?"  I thought this was an excellent way to marry the Writer's Workshop link-up with part 4 of my series on our house here in England.

I don't drink coffee, but I do drink tea.  Perfect for England, right?  So, assuming you are coming over to my house for tea, you will have to see my dining room which is less spectacular than the rest of the house, but quaint in it's own right.  Since it has not yet been revealed, this is the perfect opportunity for it.

Upon entering the back door, the dining room is immediately on your left. The print hanging over the fireplace is one of the original deeds to the house complete with a wax seal.  The landlord left it there and I think it is a nice touch.

The view from the back corner facing the dining room door (you can see the back door in the background):

The house has four fireplaces but they have all been sealed off.  All except the one in the dining room which was fitted with a wood burning stove.  It has been really cold lately, so when you arrive, I will have the fire going to keep you warm.

I got this tea set at a secondhand shop for £30.  It includes service for 5- 5 teacups and saucers, 5 dessert plates, the cake plate you see above with the biscuits (cookies) on it, sugar bowl and creamer.  I was lamenting the fact I didn't have a teapot to go with it when I remembered the little teapot DJ bought me on a trip to California last year.  It actually goes really well with the set!

Here is your seat with a cup of tea waiting- one lump or two?

And if you are having the kind of day where tea just doesn't hit the spot, the landlord also left a nice bottle and glass rack on the wall- I would be more than happy to pour you a glass of wine.

Cheers.


**If you missed the first three parts, let me catch you up.  In August, my family moved from New Jersey to England and are living in a charming English home built in 1812.  I am writing about and sharing it's quirks and rooms so my friends and family can experience this adventure along with us.  Part 1 shows you the outside of our house, the kitchen, the kids' bedrooms and our bedroom.  For Part 2, I give you some of the history of the house and take you around the back yard showing you the remains of an old cottage, the well and the furnace in the blacksmith's shop.  Part 3 explores my craft room I set up in one of the out buildings and then brings you back inside the house to see my favorite room- the office.