Zen and the Art of Cleaning the Fish Bowl

There are lessons to be learned in everything in life. One just has to pause and look around them for all the wisdom the universe is just waiting to impart through experiences, revelations, intuition and struggles.

For example, let's take my recent experience of cleaning the fishbowl:

Lesson 1- Don't trust adorable little rugrats when they promise and swear with all their allowance, Legos, princesses and candy that they will take care of the fish.

I didn't want the fish. They skeeve me just a little bit and I didn't want to be the one that had to take care of it. But, basic human compassion made me have pity on the poor thing. I feed him at least one meal a day and sometimes two because my responsible offspring forget. When I walk in Noah's room, Phineas (get it? "Fin" for short!) gets very excited to see someone that might throw him a pellet. The poor guy is virtually ignored with only some Lego space ships and a Halloween window cling to keep him company most of the time. Eventually, his water starts to resemble a junior high science experiment and I give in and clean his bowl.

Lesson 2- Regarding self-fulfilling prophecies- if you fret about something enough, you will bring it to fruition.

Reason numero uno for my not wanting to clean the fish bowl is having to scoop Phin out of his bowl with the little net thingie. Those suckers jump and my biggest fear was him jumping out of that net and having to scoop his flopping, writhing body up with my hands. While cleaning the bowl the other day, this very thing happened. Phin- half fish, half kangaroo- bounced his scaly self out of the net and onto my kitchen island where he promptly started flopping around. Luckily I was the only one at home because I may or may not have screamed like a little girl.

Lesson 3- Don't be ashamed to admit when you need help and have the courage to ask for it.

I tried to scream loud enough that a neighbor might hear and come to my assistance. When that didn't work, I asked for Divine intervention. If God wouldn't kill the innocent fish for me, then would He please just strike me down so that I would have an excuse for not picking up the fish. It would all look like some horrible aquatic accident and I would escape being known as a murderer by my children.

Lesson 4- There are some things for which you must forgive yourself and let them go.

I may have hoped, for just a nanosecond, that the dog would swoop in and just eat the fish and I wouldn't have to worry about it.

Lesson 5- When overwhelmed, take a step back, assess the situation and allow your intuition to present you with a solution.

After completely freaking out and losing control of all my senses for a moment, I realized that Phin was flopping on the school lunch menu and was able to pick up the paper menu with the fish on it and plop him back in the water without having to touch him.

Lesson 7- No harm, no foul.

If nobody or nothing was hurt in the process, it is okay to pretend it never happened.

Lesson 8- Adversity builds character.

And vocabulary. I was a pretty colorful character with an even more colorful vocabulary.

Lesson 9- Surviving a traumatic experience makes you aware of your inner-strength.

Shut up. It WAS traumatic. And I'm a freakin' rock.

Lesson 10- Pass on the knowledge. Don't hoard the wisdom, you are meant to go forth and teach what you have learned to others.

And thus, this is my gift to you, young Grasshopper. If you are diligent in your studies and meditation ( or persistent in your refusal to get a fish), you too can be as wise as I am someday.

You're welcome.