A Well-Timed Visit

I wasn't in the mood to open the door. Not at that moment, but something told me to do it anyway. Reluctantly, I turned the knob, slowly pulled it toward me and peered around the other side. I was relieved and so thankful to see her standing there at that moment.

If you are going to survive as a military spouse, you must form friendships quickly You learn to rely on people you have only just met; and as soon as you are forming a true bond of friendship- someone gets orders and leaves.

It was 2002. That year was a big one for deployments. My husband was in a unit that deployed often at only a moment's notice and always to "an undisclosed location for an undisclosed amount of time." Translation: I didn't know where he was (though based on world events, I had a good idea) and I didn't know when he would be coming back. This was also the days before Skype, so we relied on email and the occasionally chance when he would catch me by phone for communication. I was working full time and hard to catch up with.

In June, my husband deployed- again. We had been officially trying to conceive for almost a year, but the fact that he was never home was throwing a wrench in that plan. The weekend of July 4, I found out I was pregnant. I didn't want to tell anyone before I told him- so I carried the secret with me for almost a month. Around the end of July, I went to the movie with one of my friends that lived in the unit next to ours. I don't know why, but I suddenly had the urge to tell her, "in case anything happened." I was thinking along the lines of- if I was suddenly ill or unconscious, someone needed to know I was pregnant in order to tell the medical professionals. So now, she knew and I knew.

A few days later, during a phone call with my husband, I couldn't keep it a secret any longer and I spilled the beans. I had wanted to tell him in person, but I didn't know when I would see him again, so I let it slip. He was elated- and quickly wrote the most beautiful email to the baby. I still have that email to this day. Five days after that phone call, I suffered a miscarriage.

I had been cramping all day at work, but researched it online and saw that it was possible to feel cramps at this time during your first pregnancy as your uterus was stretching. I think deep down, I knew something wasn't right, because I went to the bathroom every 10-15 minutes at work that day, but I convinced myself I was overreacting. When I got home from work that evening, I felt awful. I decided to lie down on the couch and then I felt it. I knew what was coming and I ran to the bathroom. There was no question what was happening. I knew it was over.

Feeling pain- both emotional and physical, exhaustion and completely overwhelmed, I curled up on the couch and began to cry. I cried for something I didn't even know or have- yet something my husband had already grown attached to. I cried for the fact that I was going to have to break my husband's heart and tell him the baby was gone. I cried for the baby I would never hold and the plans I had already made. I just cried.

About ten minutes into my meltdown, I began to pull myself together. I knew I was going to have to call the doctor, but I didn't want to. I didn't feel like it. So I cried some more- because I was alone- because I needed my husband. I knew if he were home, he would call the doctor for me. He would comfort me. At that precise moment, there was a knock on my door.

It was my friend- the one I had told about the pregnancy. She took one look at me, and immediately put her arm around me and came inside. I don't remember what I said- but I managed to tell her what was going on. She walked me to the couch and laid me down. She picked up my phone and called the nurse line for our insurance company. She spoke with the nurse and then handed the phone to me. The nurse told me I should call my doctor's after hours line.

My friend then called the after hours for me and left a message for the doctor to call me back. Less than five minutes later, he did and I answered the phone. She sat next to me on the couch, holding my hand, while I spoke with the doctor. When the conversation was over- she went to the store to get some supplies I needed and came back and sat with me until I told her it was okay to leave.

Her husband was in the same squadron as mine and the only reason he wasn't deployed was because they were moving overseas in less than a week. He called the squadron for me, let them know what was going on so that they could contact my husband and have him call home. He came home with his squadron two weeks later.

That was one of the hardest things I have ever endured as a military spouse. The loss of a pregnancy-alone. Except that I really wasn't alone. I will always be so grateful to that family for what they did for me. I will always be thankful for the impeccable timing of her visit that day.

They moved a week later and we wrote and emailed regularly for about a year. Then, we sent yearly Christmas cards and eventually, even that stopped. I lost contact with them and have no idea where they are now. But they will forever hold a place in my heart for the role they played in my life.

My military family.

This post is inspired by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. Prompt #1: Who was at your front door?

And I am also linking up to Momma Made it Look Easy- Share Your Awesome.

Goodbye 2011

As we soar through the final week of the year, I feel the need to look back on the past year and what all has transpired. On the heels of me posting my frustrations on being a military spouse ,(my favorite line I have ever created- "And frankly, some days I just want to kick Uncle Sam in his star-spangled nuts!") we started the year right off the bat with the deployment of my husband on January 4. Immediately, the children began to try my patience as a newly-anointed single mom.

In February, we celebrated surviving the first month of the deployment. A week later, my daughter showed she was really feeling the separation by asking me to help her write a letter to her daddy that broke my heart.

In March, Noah was playing indoor soccer and scored his first goal ever- and apparently was unmoved by it.

In April, Noah informed me he was a big kid and would no longer be calling me,"Mommy", the Easter Bunny got a fabulous surprise and we celebrated the military child.

In May, we were counting down the days until DJ returned. In the meantime, I celebrated Mother's Day by attending a tea at Zoe's school and with a pretty funny list Noah made. And then the day arrived- DJ came home!

June was pretty low-key with the kids in their last month of school. I did get a nice, random conversation with Zoe in the car one day.

In July, we shipped the kids off to the grandparental units in Texas for the first time ever; but not before I made an elaborate instruction booklet to go with Zoe. She's high-maintenance like that!

We joined the kids in Texas the end of July and attended a family reunion. Then we had a birthday party for the kids the first week of August before heading back to New Jersey. Noah managed to wreck a fence during his time there. Then, upon returning to New Jersey, I almost killed the kid in GNC.

September was full of soccer for both kids, piano for Noah and no time to blog about it.

October was the month I almost died in a corn maze. And that was BEFORE that family called 9-1-1 in the maze, y'all. This makes me think this is a real problem that should be looked into. Then, I confronted the neighborhood bullies while Noah gave his opinion on everything from the World Series to going green.

In November, Noah was being goofy at school and earned himself a trip to the ER.

In December, we took the kids to Hershey, PA. and Zoe came home with a terrible school photo..

We have had a very colorful, interesting, trying, hilarious, eventful and blessed year this year. Here is hoping next year is even better than last and that you and your family have a wonderful year as well.

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop- FAQ's

I have not been blogging regularly nor have I participated in Mama Kat's Workshop in some time. Every week, I get the prompts in my email and can't come up with anything. This week, I told myself, no matter what, I was going to pick a prompt and write something.

I got the list on Monday and one of the choices was to write a FAQ about yourself. I liked this idea, but as usual, time got away from me and I didn't write it. I was so disappointed in myself this morning, so while I was sitting in the waiting room for an appointment this morning, I jotted down some questions on a receipt. After the appointment, I had to drop some papers off at my son's school and afterwards, I decided to make my first ever Vlog (video blog) right there in the parking lot of his school. I knew if I didn't do it then, I wouldn't do it at all.

Things I learned from my vlog- I make weird faces when I speak, I repeat myself a lot, I have nothing interesting to say, there is a reason why I WRITE- so that I can sort my thoughts- I am not good off-the-cuff.

So.. here ya go.. my first ever vlog and a FAQ about myself:

This post is inspired by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. Prompt#2: Create an FAQ page about yourself.

Husband

Husband:

lover, friend

father, teacher

playmate, protector;

always taking care of us,

possessing a child-like spirit,

gentle and sweet, tough and firm;

knows when I seriously need a laugh;

he understands me better than anyone else

yet he loves me because of and in spite of myself;

has been to hell & back with me-never dropping my hand,

always able to focus my attention toward the good,

is smart, hilarious, talented, and strong,

has chosen to leave all things familiar

so that he can serve his country

and has continued to serve

for a good part of his life;

half of me is missing,

but duty calls my

lover, friend

husband

soldier

hero

This post is inspired by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. Prompt#3: Husbands

Slacker

This year has really thrown me off my game. I feel like I am perpetually behind and running around like a chicken with my head cut off whereas normally I am on top of things. It is a combination of both of my kids being in school and now having functions, permission slips, information forms, required meetings AND my husband's night schedule that has him either home and occupying me during the day OR home and sleeping requiring me to either be very quiet around the house or be out of the house all day. How's THAT for a run-on sentence? I won't be correcting it, because the chaos and lack of organization in that sentence accurately reflects the same in my life right now.

Normally this time of year, I have whipped up awesome Halloween crafts, cards, projects, treats and costumes but I have accomplished NOTHING this year. Nada. I am thankful that I somehow managed to delegate the kids' costumes to other people, because I don't know that I would have done it had the responsibility fallen to me. And that is so not me. I hate feeling like this.

The last crafty thing I accomplished was Zoe's Ice Cream Parlour birthday party in August. For today's Mama Kat's Workshop, one of the prompts was to "show us something you've created for Halloween" and I am going to link up this post from Halloween last year. I just wanted to have an explanation in case someone followed the link and then landed on my current posts.

If you have been with me for awhile, I apologize for the repeat, but if you are new.. enjoy!

Hopefully I will get my groove back soon. Has anyone seen it?

Ten Things I Love About Fall

1. School starts!! ( or, the kids go away for a few hours!)

2. Soccer

3. Jacket weather
4. Beautiful Foliage

5. Pumpkin patch

6. Apple orchard7. Putting out the fall/Halloween decorations


8. Carving a jack-o-lantern

9. Halloween costumes

10. Family time outdoors



This post is part of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop- prompt#5 - Ten reasons why you are glad it's fall.

How to Drive Mommy Crazy Before 1pm or All in a Day's Work

When I read Mama Kat's list of prompts and saw prompt #2: "Tell us about a day you were sure you wouldn't get through.", several things popped into my mind. Most of them serious and since my last few Writer's Workshop posts have been all serious, I felt I needed funny. And then I was brought back to a particular day I really thought would never end. Of course I already blogged about it, but since the beginning of the school year/soccer season has really made me hit the ground running with little time for much else, I thought this was the perfect time to revisit an old post.

Picture it: a small house in the Jersey woods, occupied by an awesome mom who never ever loses her cool, two children- a six-year-old and a two-year-old just trying to get through the dog days of summer. It was back in August 2009 and my daughter felt I needed to earn my keep (while simultaneously losing my sanity) around the house.

Here is how today has gone so far:

Noah was in the bathroom doing his business when he yelled at me that Zoe had taken the little insert out of her potty and thrown it in the big toilet WHILE he was peeing, then got it out with pee in it and dumped it all over the floor.( I figured I would spare you and not take a photo of this) I cleaned the little potty, the toilet and mopped the bathroom floor up. As I was walking from the bathroom into the laundry room to put the washcloth I used and the bathroom rug in the washer I encountered this in the kitchen:


I had previously folded laundry and left it in the basket and Zoe had gone through the basket and picked out my underwear and put them on! There was a nice mess in the living room from the laundry basket too. I finished putting the rug and a load of towels in the washer and went into the living room to re-fold the clothes and put them back in the laundry basket. I did wonder what that was on her face, but she's a messy kid so I brushed it aside.

Meanwhile, Noah yelled at me from his room that Zoe was up on his bed and wouldn't get down. Noah has a loft bed and I am afraid Zoe will fall off it, so I went in his room to get her down. As I picked her up, I felt something like rocks in her diaper. I had no clue what it was, so I decided to inspect and found this:

That is leftover Easter candy that I had put up in a drawer in my room. This meant Zoe had been in my room and I suspected she had eaten some of the candy explaining what was on her mouth earlier ( chocolate). I guess she decided to stash a few pieces in case I took it away from her.

So.. I decided I need to go inspect my room and found this:

Notice the partial wrapper off to the side. That would be because my little billy goat was eating them with the wrappers ON them..... I also found this in my bed:

I had to change my sheets on my bed because there were drooly chocolate stains all over them. As I was heading to the laundry room again, I found this lying in the hallway:

That would be a catalog that she had torn and EATEN the edge off of. I picked it up and went to put it back in the magazine rack and now we'd gone full circle because I found Zoe in the laundry again



And when the last picture was taken, it was only one o'clock.

**NOTE: It took me awhile to post this because I was playing referee between Zoe and Noah. As I was completing the upload of pictures, I realized it had been really quiet and got nervous. I went to find Zoe to see what she was into this time. I couldn't find her anywhere in the house. I started getting nervous and then I walked into her room ( the one place she doesn't go because she is ALLOWED in there!) to find this:

She climbed in her crib by herself and went to sleep. I guess she had a busy morning and needed to recharge her batteries to wreak havoc this afternoon. (and note the tiny bit of hot pink you can see around her left leg... that's my underwear again)

Freedom

F- fighting for change- sometimes you have to step up; fighting to protect- be aware that so many have stepped up and are willing to pay the ultimate price for it; family sacrifice- the wives, husbands, mothers, fathers and children of soldiers ; feeling safe

R- realization that all, regardless of race, religion, ethnicity or nationality are the same- human, respect- having enough of it for oneself to be true and confident and having enough for others to allow them to be themselves and love them for who they are.

E- everyone deserves it, but not everyone has it; empathy for others and their plight and the courage to help mankind; education = empowerment- teach our children the lessons we have learned so that history does not repeat itself

E- election, as in the freedom to have one and the ability to change what you don't like; establishment- for good or bad and knowing the difference in the two

D- don't turn a blind eye, dangerous-if taken too literally, our freedom does not infringe on others' freedom, diversity- we can all be different and yet co-exist peacefully

O- opinion- being allowed to voice it freely without repercussions; openess- without restraint; obligation- to guard and protect it; lack of oppression- from the Afghan wife that feels so hopeless that she must set herself on fire to free herself from oppression to the neglected child who didn't ask to be brought into the world, and yet sits, alone and ignored

M- military- the heroes that volunteer and answer the call of duty; menial- to someone who has always had it, mighty- to someone who has just received it, mythical- to someone who has no hope of ever enjoying it.

What does freedom mean to you?

Leap of Faith

She stood before the merry-go-round wracked with indecision. Everyone was laughing and having so much fun, but it was going so quickly. She wanted to be a part of the fun, but couldn't quite work up the courage to take that leap.

They stuck their hand out to her, encouraging her to grab hold and jump. After much calculation and a final realization she would just have to trust and leap, she was on. Spinning, spinning, the world whizzing by in a big blur. It was so much fun. She was laughing too and couldn't remember why she was scared in the first place.

She stood among the mess her life had become. Everything that had been so promising and positive had fallen apart all at once. She watched as it all began to spin around her. Dizzying, sickening, it was all just spiraling out of control and she couldn't gain solid ground. In the whirlwind of blurry images before her, he suddenly appeared with a soft, loving face, his hand outstretched toward her. She hesitated and he said, "Just trust me. Grab my hand and leap." And she did. And she couldn't remember why she was ever scared in the first place.

They were enjoying the ride, but felt something was missing and that was when they saw him. They grabbed his tiny outstretched hand and pulled him in. It created a temporary imbalance. They had to adjust and then they couldn't imagine what it was like before he came on board. It was so much fun, they couldn't remember why they were ever scared in the first place.

Then, she appeared. The persistent free spirit that insisted on being a part of their game. Mesmerized by her beauty, they pulled her in. She wavered and they thought, briefly, she might fall. They hoped and prayed and begged her to just trust them, they would take care of her if she would just leap. She did and they became a family of four. And they laughed and loved and played and couldn't remember why they were ever scared in the first place.

The years passed and they enjoyed the ride. The dancing, the spinning, the laughing. Then it was time. Each in their turn, the children took their own leaps of faith into their own lives and families. Spinning, laughing, loving and enjoying the ride. They couldn't remember why they were ever scared in the first place.

The merry-go-round was slowing. The ride had been incredible and they were nearing it's end. It was just the two of them left, they stared long and hard at each other, kissed and embraced. He smiled at her with a smile that was weathered, but still gentle, soft and loving. He said one last time, "Trust me." and held out his hand to her. This time she wasn't scared. She took it and together, they leapt.

**This post is inspired by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. Prompt #2 " Write a post that begins and ends with a merry-g0-round"

Shark Week at the Jersey Shore

It was a perfect summer morning on the Jersey shore. The beach-goers were emerging from their thunderstorm-filled night of slumber, awake and refreshed and ready to confront the beautiful day. This was the kind of thing she loved most about summer. From the time she was a little girl, she remembered taking family vacations to the shore and lazily spending days in the sand and surf and wandering up and down the boardwalk looking for the next great adventure. Of course, everything is an adventure to a six-year-old.

As a teenager, she still went with her family on vacation; but she also went with friends' families and just for day trips with gaggles of other teenagers- giggling, flirting and walking that fine line between unbridled little girl excitement and restrained enthusiasm brought on by a self-awareness of others watching her.

Now as an adult, she continued these traditions, journeying to the shore several times each summer with her kids and husband in tow to instill the same memories of carefree days and childlike exuberance in her own family. Times had changed. Outdoor games had been replaced by Nintendo DS, streaming television and on-demand movies. Clambakes, wienie bakes, barbecues and burger burns had been replaced by the local Chinese takeout. But, the boardwalk fries, saltwater taffy and waffles with ice cream still remained as a sort of liaison between her world and theirs.

She was brought out of her daydream by the squeal of her daughter. Nothing out of the ordinary. The kids fought all the time. When she was little, she quarreled with her siblings too, but not like this. They had their differences and worked them out on their own. Her kids never seemed to get along. It was exhausting and she had hoped to avoid some of it by getting them out of their normal environment. She listened closely and determined the reason for this outburst was surrounding a particular Lego that apparently both had laid claim to. She decided to let it be and hope they worked it out.

The sun was high overhead and starting to really beat down, so she decided to go inside for a bit, cool off and maybe catch the lunchtime news. Nothing exciting. The usual- a row home in Philadelphia caught fire, a local soldier returned home from a lengthy tour and the usual political fodder that seemed to concern the haves more than the have-nots. But then, a special report broke in that caused her to sit up and take notice.

She couldn't quite believe her ears. Was she dreaming? This couldn't be real. I mean, this was the kind of thing only in some Hollywood film that scared her to death as a child. Could it be?

The local news anchor was reporting rumors of shark sightings in the area and one attack on the very beach where they were vacationing. She listened in horror as the eye witnesses recalled the victim screaming and being pulled, bleeding from the water. But no one had actually seen the shark. Thankfully, the victim was going to be fine, just in need of quite a few stitches. But, a shark? At the Jersey Shore? It was so..... cliché.

She realized with a start that her family had been at that very same beach earlier and had probably just missed the attack by a few minutes. She let out a sigh of relief and was thankful for the difference a few minutes could make. The authorities were puzzled as to why there were no actual sightings of the shark. The coast guard as well as the news crews had all scrambled for airspace over the beach, but there were no sharks to be found from that angle either. It was a mystery to be sure and certain to break up the monotony of the long summer days. It would be something the locals would talk about for years and stories for the vacationers to tell and re-tell their children and grandchildren. The phantom shark attack and the year Jaws almost came to life.

As the week passed on, the local restaurants, ice cream shoppes, cabanas and shops were all abuzz with the story. The doctors at the local hospital were all certain, judging by the man's injuries, it had in fact been a shark attack; but even the victim could not recall actually seeing the shark. The news quickly went national and fear was quickly reaching the entire eastern seaboard. People were canceling their beach rentals and throwing local economies into emergency mode. It was speculated that this vicious attacker was almost other-worldly, defying logic and normal limits by being able to appear at will anywhere along the east coast out of thin air. The shore towns were on edge wishing the beast would just be sighted and caught before the last few weeks of summer wasted away to fall ending the summer season.

And then, it struck again.

Much to the relief of the rest of the country, but the horror of the little Jersey shore town, it struck at the exact same beach. One and a half weeks after the initial incident, after still no sightings and increasing pressure from the beachfront business owners, the beach was deemed safe and reopened for recreational swimming. On that very same day, a woman reported being waist-deep in water and feeling something latch onto her leg and pull with such force, she was almost dragged out to sea. She screamed, kicked and splashed and eventually the thing let go and disappeared. The woman was taken to the local hospital and received over fifty stitches- not quite as many as the last victim. When interviewed by the police, she reported that she, too, had not actually seen the shark.

The town was again thrown into total panic. The people that had stayed to wait out the last beach closure packed up and left. The place was becoming a ghost town in the middle of August and it looked as if the season would indeed wrap up a few weeks early with still no answers to the questions.

She sipped her Earl Grey and put down the newspaper. Once again, her family had been at the beach the same day as the attack and had apparently missed it only by minutes. She felt it far too risky to tempt fate again and decided with a sigh that they would pack up today and leave as well. She could use the extra time for school shopping. The kids both needed new shoes and the supply list this year was very lengthy. She might as well get a head start preparing for fall.

Everyone was packed and ready to go and she decided to take one last walk through the house to make sure nothing was being left behind. As she passed through her daughter's room, she found, stuffed underneath the mattress, an opened pack of gum, some shaped rubber bands that were all the rage that summer and a bottle of bubbles. All things she knew she had not purchased for the kids. All things she was fairly certain her four-year-old daughter had swiped. This was her challenging child. The one she was certain was going to be the death of her. The discovery of these items did not surprise her at all. This was so like something her daughter would do. She put the items in her bag for discussion later when they got home.

Now, she passed through her son's room. He was always such a good boy. He almost always did as he was told, rarely got into trouble and was wise far beyond his six years. She never for a moment thought he would ever give her grief. She smiled thinking about his sweet little face and seeing only a pristine, clean room she turned to leave. But something caught her eye. She turned back to see the corner of a newspaper sticking out from under his bed. She picked it up and it was folded to the story about the first attack. He hadn't discussed it with her at all and she wondered if he thought it was exciting or if it was scary to him. She hoped it hadn't caused nightmares and made a mental note to discuss it with him. Then she saw something else shoved further up under his bed. It was a journal. She pulled it out and opened it.

She inhaled sharply. Her son's handwriting was before her, but she didn't recognize him at all. The words told of a terrified little boy not understanding his surroundings. As she read, everything started to fall into place. She realized he WAS scared. She read more and finally had to admit the truth to herself.

She was the mother of the Jersey shark.

At that moment, he walked into the room, saw the journal and his face went white as a sheet. She calmly asked him to open his mouth. He shook his head. " It's alright, son. Just please open your mouth for me." He complied and sure enough her suspicions were confirmed. There, in his mouth, were two rows of teeth on bottom.

She quickly packed up Shark Boy and they left... with the memory of the summer that Noah got an extra row of teeth, his Mom called him "Shark Boy" and penned an elaborate story about it.

Now, THAT'S down the shore... Jersey horror flick style!

This post is being linked to Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. Prompt #5: "What five images paint a perfect picture of summer to you? Put those images together in a piece of writing."

I grew up on the Gulf Coast.. so summer is the beach to me. And the other four images that comprise summer to me are summer thunderstorms, the boardwalk, ice cream and writing/reading fiction.

Summer Reruns

Because, I am lazy, and I have two children up my keister all day just counting down the days until school starts ( I'm counting, not them). My followers have already seen this.. twice. I posted this originally last summer after a camping trip to the shore in a pop-up camper under the name "Transcendental Meditation from a Pop-Up" and I posted it again this year as a precursor to our upcoming trip to the shore in the pop-up which wasn't nearly as eventful as last year's trip. After all, I almost died of hypothermia last year. And then there was the rabid rooster. I'm telling y'all... I liken the Jersey Shore to the Serengeti or the Outback. Seriously.

Transcendental Meditation from a Pop-Up

I grew up in a fairly rural area. I didn't think it was rural at the time, but knowing what I know now, it was. We went camping, fishing and yes, I swam in lakes and creeks. I had no problem with that. The old adage, " You can take the girl out of the country but you can't take the country out of the girl." apparently does NOT ring true, though. By my best estimation, it takes around ten years to weasel the aforementioned, "country" out of the girl.

Despite my childhood experiences with the great outdoors, I am now aware that I have become a bit of a city girl. We currently live in a lake community with a public beach on the lake and lifeguards in the summer. Three years ago we went swimming in the lake and emerged covered in some sort of brown slime that stained our suits and proved hard to wash off our skin. The locals told us it was called " cedar water". Whatever it is, it produces stain-inducing slime. I now prefer to only swim in that which is chlorinated.

Back to the present. It is currently five a.m. I've been up since three a.m. We are camping at the NJ shore in a pop-up camper with no heat, no air and no bathroom. Here are my musings thus far:

Two-thirty a.m.: Yes, I KNOW you cannot get frost bite when it is fifty-five degrees outside, but my feet are so cold they're numb, so humor me.

Three a.m : What was THAT!?? Are there coyotes in southern NJ?

Three-thirty a.m.: I'm going to go and choke a chicken. No, that is not a metaphor.. there is a rooster somewhere that has his days and nights confused.

Four a.m.: I decided to just grab the laptop and start recording my musings since I am clearly not sleeping any more tonight. I am seriously so cold, that I am huddled in an intricately-designed cocoon that I have created with my blanket.

** "cocoon"- hmmm.... how ironic I am identifying with my caterpillar friends with whom I have such a tumultuous relationship.

** If you subscribe to the thought that there are no accidents or coincidences, that everything is meant to happen and is some sort of pre-designed Divine plan, then is this the Great Creator's way of having me make peace with the nasty caterpillars? Because I don't know if I can let that go.

** I have to pee. The bathroom is four streets over. I know the walk is good for me, but I prefer to stumble to the bathroom in the middle of the night half-asleep. If I walk that far, I'm going to be good and awake. Isn't that what exercise is FOR? To give you energy and get your blood flowing?

** I decided to take the "city girl" route and drive to the bathroom. Besides, I got to turn the van's heater on on the way over there. It was heavenly. See?? I'm being made to appreciate the simple things. One more night and I can be a Buddhist monk.

**Look at me... I've turned into a flippin' philosopher! Jennaclese ( el vato with the knobby knees) Sorry, I was channeling Cheech Marin for a minute.

** Me thinks Emerson and Thoreau were NOT really one with nature. They simply lost their minds camping and wrote about it and we recognize that today as a literary movement worth studying.

**Totally random.. but really, what is WITH New Jersey jug handles? Why can't you just make a left turn?

** Why does the slightest drop of moisture cause my hair to explode? I CAME from a very humid environment... my ancestors lived in the swamps of Louisiana. I wonder what they used for hair product back in the day?

** Speaking of ancestors... I realize I am spoiled, but I feel I should point out that at least the pioneers that travelled forth in the name of Manifest Destiny and slept out on the open plains had camp fires to keep them warm! Granted, they had to fear attack by wild animals and Indians, but hey, let's not trivialize the mosquitos and rabid rooster I'm dealing with.

** We turned the stove on and the fans to circulate the heat from the stove. It's working a little bit. I can't say I'm WARM... but I am warm-ER. And I see light, so the sun should be up soon to warm up good ole Mother Earth!

** At least both my kids have managed to sleep through this. I could be dealing with chills, rabid roosters and two crying children. For that I am thankful.

This post is part of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. Prompt #3: Describe a Memorable Camping Trip

Writer's Workshop

Have you ever really listened to the mourning dove call for his mate?

Have you ever closed your eyes and felt the power of the ocean tugging at your ankles as the warm sand squishes between your toes?

Have you ever realized what you've been searching for has always been within your grasp?

Have you ever wondered if you chose the correct path and then realized you are exactly where you are supposed to be?

Have you ever seen the entire universe reflected in one sparkling grain of sand?

Have you ever felt the breath of God playfully rustle your hair only to realize there is no breeze?

Have you ever looked into the eyes of a child and seen all the generations that came before her looking back at you?

Have you ever retreated within yourself and attempted to just be?

Because, when you can achieve this, everything else will come to you.

This post is inspired by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop, prompt #4, "Begin each line of your post with, 'Have you ever...' "

Go Ahead, Punish Me, PLEASE!

I'm participating in Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop today. One of the prompts is "Who are you giving a timeout to?"

This is funny because just yesterday my husband and I were having this conversation.

ME: (with sound of two-year-old tantrum in background) I wish I could have a timeout.

HUBBY: Maybe we should start doing that. If one of us really needs a break, the other can just send us to our room for a timeout. We can even stomp in there and slam the door. That would be fun.

ME: (dreamily) Yeah.... thirty-seven minutes to myself would be bliss. I'm sure they'd just follow us, though.

HUBBY: You're probably right.

**comfortable silence while we both imagine how wonderful the land of time-out would be**

ME: (crashing back to reality) No! We can't do that. It would be bad.

HUBBY: Why!!??

ME: Because I can already see myself just walking up to a kid and smacking them just so you will put me in timeout.

HUBBY: *snicker* Yeah, I can see that. Perhaps it isn't such a good idea, afterall