Day 2

Today was low-key. Both kids seemed to have a good day both at home and at school. When I picked Zoe up from preschool, her teacher said she had a good day- no problems at all. Of course then she didn't want to leave and I had to beg and plead with her to hurry up and clean up her mess so we could go and be home in time for her brother's bus. I have missed it twice this year and I fear if I miss it again, I will get in trouble.

We made it home in plenty of time for Noah's bus (thankfully!) and as soon as he got off the bus, we packed up in the van- complete with Daddy Doll- and went to Sonic for dinner. My sister-in-law gave us some Sonic gift cards for Christmas- so dinner was on her! YAY!




When we got home, I pulled out a new game that was given to me by a parent from Noah's school who was clearing out some of her kids' toys. They loved it! It was a little difficult for them, so I let Noah cheat a little bit and as long as the buzzer didn't just blatantly go off, a few little buzzes were okay. I followed the rules since my dexterity is a little better and we let Zoe have it no matter how much the buzzer went off, because just using those tweezers was hard enough for a three-year-old! Everyone had a blast and, of course, Zoe won.

Leprechaun Power!

Hooray!

We are expecting snow in the morning, but very little. I am hoping not enough to delay school- Noah, of course, is hoping for a snow day. That is, until I politely reminded him that each day he gets out for snow gets tacked on to the end of the school year.

Day One

In order to comfort the kids, I have been telling them that we will surely miss Daddy on this deployment, but that it will be an adventure and we will do fun things together to pass the time. I realized today that is an abstract statement and while it probably sounds appealing, they have no idea what to expect. Therefore, I am planning on doing something special with them every day (and not beating myself up if I fall short on some days). It doesn't have to be anything big, just something like playing a game together or allowing them to sleep in my room one night on the weekend (that is huge, we NEVER let them sleep in our room).

The kids got a Hallmark book for Christmas from my mom where you can record a voice reading the book and we had DJ record the story for them so they could play it at night. I also ordered Zoe a Daddy Doll which she loves and is already carrying everywhere she goes.

Today, I stopped by the public library and checked out the book Flat Stanley by Jeff Brown. When the kids got home from school, I read it to them and we made Flat Zoe and Flat Noah and decorated them to send to Daddy in his first care package. Zoe insisted we make Flat Mommy and Flat Lindy (the dog) as well. They had a blast making them, and we had Zoe's Daddy Doll sitting in the empty chair at the table to preside over the festivities.

Notice Daddy Doll sitting in the chair

left to right: Flat Zoe, Flat Mommy, Flat Lindy, Flat Noah

After we were done, I told them I had another special treat. I found a tiny little cake at the grocery store today for $2.99 and bought it as a celebration of making it through our first day of the deployment. Of course they loved it- who doesn't love cake?

One day behind us. Approximately 119 to go.

Empty

It's funny how the heart works.

A few hours ago, I drove home, I unbuckled the youngest from her carseat, unlocked the house, walked in and began preparing dinner. Just like almost every other day. But this one was different. Not completely out of the ordinary, mind you, but different from an average day.

Half my heart left today- for one hundred and twenty days. And since I've been a military wife for twelve years, this is nothing new to me. I've done this before. Yes, I now know what to expect, what to do in his absence and I've matured and learned to handle it all much better. But, it isn't any easier than it was that very first time that he left.

I walked in the house today and I was overcome by that empty feeling. The same empty feeling that overcomes me every single time he leaves. Suddenly, I am that twenty-six-year-old newlywed that landed in a foreign country six days after her wedding. Then, nine days after landing in that foreign country, drove back to my house off-base without my husband because he had just deployed. I walked through the door, the emptiness overwhelmed me and I looked around our home- the place that just didn't even feel like home yet, and I felt lost. I felt every mile that separated the two of us and I felt every mile that separated me from the United States where all of my friends and family were. That first day was the hardest. It always is. Then, I went to bed and I woke up with that first day behind me and low and behold, I had survived. And it was a little easier than the day before it. That is how I made it through that deployment- one day at a time. That is how I have made it through every deployment since.

Yes, technically, this is "old hat" for me. But it isn't any easier. And tonight, I sit with that empty feeling in the pit of my stomach and I feel that twenty-six-year-old newlywed crying, lost and lonely. I reassure her that everything will be okay and when she wakes up tomorrow, it will be one day closer to the day he is home again.

And so she and I will take it one day at a time.

A Tale of Two Dresses

by

[Mad as the] Dickens

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was summer. It was winter. It was bright and cheery. It was gray and dreary. It was the reason for countless struggles. It was the reason for unbridled joy.

One was long-sleeved and adorned with festive penguins.

One was short-sleeved and adorned with glitter.

In spite of a closet full of dresses, outfits, sparkly pants and Tinkerbell shirts, these were the only two acceptable options for wear. The possessor of these treasures had handpicked them from her collection and nothing else could compare to their splendor.

Maternal nerves frayed. Headaches originated. Tantrums commenced. Shoes were thrown. Little legs froze in sub-freezing weather.

All for the sole purpose of fashion.

Fashion as determined and defined by a three-year-old.

And so the other clothes all hung, untouched, in the closet and longed to be touched, worn, CHOSEN.

All at the expense of two dresses.

THE dresses.

In her eyes...

...perfection.

Passive Aggressive Letters from the Edge

Dear Dog,

When I come home, don't jump off the couch you were not supposed to be on in the first place and run go lie in your bed and pretend you've been there all day. The couch is still warm and there are nose/tongue smears on the window.

So, unless there is a very warm and slobbery ghost in my house, you are sooo busted.

Signed,

Don't Tick Off the Hand that Feeds You

Naughty or Nice?

I'm sorry for the lack of posts, but we are having some serious discipline problems with my daughter right now- as in I've had to go up to her school regarding them- and all of the creativity and energy is just being sucked right out of me right now.

In honor of my daughter's bad behavior, I will repost the story of her naughty visit to see Santa last year that I was almost certain would result in her being moved to the naughty list.

This was posted on November 30, 2009:

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We don't do Mall Santa. The one and only time we did Mall Santa was November 2003 when Noah was three months old and I was visiting home in Texas. We went to the mall there and it was so totally NOT crowded ( I know the people that are from Southeast TX are going to argue with me, but trust me, it's NOT crowded- try a mall in Jersey!).


Since then, we have always been here for Christmas and I am NOT standing in line for two hours with small children to see Santa. That is a recipe for an epic tantrum. I'm not sure if that tantrum would be mine or my children's, but I don't intend to find out, either. Still, we always manage to find some Santa substitute each year, usually at DJ's squadron children's party.


Yesterday, we needed to go to Penney's and didn't feel like driving to the real (meaning: decent) mall, so we went to our local crap mall. I'm not exaggerating.. this mall still has Penney's, Sears and Macy's and that is all that is keeping it afloat ( that and the Chuck E Cheese in the parking lot). There is also a Bath and Body Works and a Victoria's Secret, but all the other major retailers ( Gap, Children's Place, Express, Limited...) all gone! That's what I mean.. crap mall.


So, we're walking through the crap mall to verify that it is still in fact, CRAP, and we walk through the center to see... Santa! Santa was smiling and waving and "ho ho ho"-ing to everyone who passed. No line. So we decided, what the heck... we haven't been sufficiently tortured today and Zoe has had no major meltdowns yet, so what better than Mall Santa to throw Zoe into a frenzy?


Now, I have to admit, Mall Santa was really good. He discreetly found out the kids' names ahead of time so he could address them by name. He spoke very calmly and sweetly to Zoe, keeping his distance. He suggested that maybe I just have Noah stand next to him rather than sit in his lap and get Zoe to stand on the other side using Noah as a buffer between herself and the overgrown jolly one. We got quite a few shots that included my arm holding a very unhappy Zoe in place, some of a blur of Zoe running away and then Santa pulled out the candy canes.


Stop the presses, the creepy stranger has candy! Zoe was suddenly very interested! Of course she still wasn't going within a thirty foot radius of him. Noah and Santa were instructed to just keep staring at the camera and smiling no matter what. Zoe's need for the sweet striped confection within the jolly old elf's grasp overpowered the stranger danger and she was lured in. She crept over to him and grabbed the candy cane, but still had her back to the camera. DJ and I called out, " Zoe!! What do you have??" and she turned toward the camera, pointed at us to tell us, "No!!" ( as in, "You two keep out of this!!") and the photographer snapped the shot in that small nanosecond because what followed that tiny moment captured on film, was a series of events that are sure to make Santa rethink Zoe's "naughty or nice" status on his list.


So, Zoe snagged the candy cane, turned to yell, " No!" at myself and DJ, and in one fluid movement, whirled around, smacked an unsuspecting Noah in the head with the candy cane ( on purpose, not on accident), threw her head back, let out a maniacal laugh and ran off! There was silence for a moment then Noah yelped, " Owwww Zoe!!!", Santa snickered under his breath and DJ and I stared helplessly at the photographer who was beaming from ear to ear because she had the shot!


"We'll take it!" we announced in unison and left with a ridiculously overpriced photo and lofty dreams of coal in Zoe's stocking Christmas morning!

Life Lessons Learned

I have two quick anecdotes today.

The first started a few weeks ago when Zoë started saying, "Oh my God" a lot. I told her one day that wasn't a very nice thing to say and that she should say, "Oh my goodness." instead. She nodded her head and went about her way.

A couple of nights ago, I heard Noah and Zoë in the tub.

NOAH: You know who made the lawn?

ZOË: WHO????

NOAH: God

ZOË: **GASP**(then whispering) Mommy say don't say God, say goodness.

So now my kid thinks God is a bad word. Nice.

*******

Zoë's classroom has what they call "busy bees". It is basically their jobs. They pick their job for the week from things such as door holder, snack helper etc. Sometimes if they are not behaving themselves, they will lose their busy bee for the day.

Today, Zoë had two meltdowns. One massive one which I actually heard because I was volunteering ( I was not in her classroom and she did not know I was there) and happened to be taping notes to the cubbies out in the hall when I heard her screaming. I heard her teacher firmly tell her, " No hitting. I do not hit you, so you don't hit me!"

On the way home from school, I was talking to her about her sad choices. I told her that sometimes we all make sad choices- even Mommy and Daddy make sad choices. I gave her examples and then followed it up with, "So, everyone makes sad choices sometimes, but it is important that we realized we made a sad choice. And what do you think we should do next?" (I paused giving her a chance to answer, but was going to then tell her that we should apologize to the person we hurt either with our hands or our words) I didn't get to answer the question because she did

" Ummmm???? Lose our busy bee?"